A Short Stay in Hell

by Steven L. Peck

We would ask that you please follow a few simple rules during your stay in Hell: 1. Please be kind. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Failure to do this will bring unhappiness and misery to you and your fellow citizens. 2. Do not get discouraged. Remember nothing lasts forever. Someday this will be a distant memory. 3. Please leave towels on the floor if you wish them to be cleaned. Hang up those you wish to use again. 4. Books not in your possession will be returned to their original place on the stacks every night. A book will be considered in your possession if you are touching it. 5. If you are killed you will be restored to life on the following day. Please try to avoid death as much as possible. 6. All contracts, bonds, commitments, covenants, pledges, and promises entered into prior to your entering Hell are null and void. This includes, but is not limited to: debt, marriage, natural births and adoptions, requirements of citizenship, military obligations, student loans, etc. 7. Remember you are never really alone. Although it may feel like it for very long stretches of time. 8. Please don’t write on, mark, or mar library materials. Although repairs are made nightly, we would like to keep repairs to a minimum. 9. Lastly, you are here to learn something. Don’t try to figure out what it is. This can be frustrating and unproductive. We hope you enjoy your stay here. We have done all we can to make your stay a pleasant and instructive one.