Reckless (Chestnut Springs, #4)

by Elsie Silver

I sniff. “Willa took a very graphic video. I can show you sometime.” “I would love that.” “It’s not sexy.” I side-eye him and he scrunches his brow. “It will ruin any splendid memories of my vagina you might have.” “Nah. That’s impossible. Those memories are why my right forearm is bigger than my left.”

But Theo doesn’t follow suit. Instead, he scowls at me. “I could fucking bury whoever made you believe you’re as unlovable as you seem to think.”

I give my head a brief shimmy and turn to keep walking. I’ll pretend that little moment didn’t happen at all. It’s just the baby-brain. I zone out all the time now. It has nothing to do with Theo Silva. And definitely nothing to do with that night.

Preferably those shot glasses. Because tequila is our thing.

Her responding laugh is shriller this time, her tone not as sweet. “Oh, my bad. I didn’t realize you were with someone.” His eyes slice over to mine, busting me. Again. “I’m not. Yet.”

In the past week, I’ve come to her house every morning, hot coffee in hand. Despite how badly this whole thing has fucked with my head, I keep a smile on my face and put my best foot forward to learn everything.

“That’s a fascinating assessment, Winter. But I’m not pretending a single fucking thing. Because for a year and a half all I’ve had to do is remember you and me that night to be stuck walking around all day like this.” I cross a line. My hand darts out and I grip her wrist, pulling her hand down to slide it over my rock-hard cock.

“So happy you guys carpooled!” Summer pats my shoulder. “You are such a gentleman, Theo. Opening her door like that!” Summer is oblivious. But I don’t think Winter is anymore.

That everyone keeps looking at Theo and me suspiciously while being so willfully ignorant of what’s going on between Harvey and Cordelia blows my fucking mind.

“I reckon she’ll wanna spend a little extra time getting to know her new grandchild.”

Nothing gets past Daddy Eaton

“Wait.” Sweet Jasper looks genuinely confused. I owe Sloane a flat of Buddyz Best lager for keeping this secret as close as she has.

Awh <3

“Come on. Don’t you kids know anything? You ever seen a tomcat fight a female?” Willa’s body is taut with barely contained laughter, while Cade groans and scrubs a hand over his beard. “They start off scratching and screaming at each other—” “Dad, please stop.” Cade braces his forearms against the edge of the table, staring at his place setting. “And then before you know it . . .” Harvey carries on, undeterred. “Dad.” Now even Rhett is trying to make him stop. “Before you know it what, Harv?” It’s Jasper who gives the older man the final shove he needs, ignoring the light slap Sloane lands across his chest. Harvey shrugs matter-of-factly. “Before you know it, they’re breeding. Kittens everywhere. That saying about cats in heat didn’t come from nowhere.” A chorus of groans ring out around the table.

“No,” Cade jumps in. “Don’t give him any ideas. Young, impressionable minds do not need the Harvey Eaton version of the birds and the bees.”

“I think when Grandpa told me about the birds and the bees, he used rabbits instead,” Luke adds innocently. “Yeah.” Harvey laughs. “There’s a saying about rabbits too, ya know?”

LOL

Luke, all of seven years old, scoffs before saying, “Yeah, Dad will lose it if you say ‘fucking like bunnies’ in front of me again.”

“Watch your fucking tone when you’re talking to the mother of my child.”

Like I don’t belong. I’m going to be tied to him for the rest of my life, so there’s a good chance I’ll be forced to watch him date other women. Marry another woman. Have children with another woman. And Vivi will be part of that family too.

Sure...

Try to put on a smiling face and not give away to a lively group of happy people that being referred to as a business partner makes me want to flip the fucking table.

He flinches, his eyes widening. “Wow. Alright. It’s just that Winter is kind of—” “What?” I cut him off. “Strong? Intelligent? A fantastic fucking mom? Because if you were thinking words about her that are anything less than positive, then you’ve found the line.”

Some people might think he’s cold, but I know better. That’s his small-man rage.

Lol

She takes him, even though she looks down at his spindly body like he might be diseased. I nearly smile as the realization hits me. Peter and Winter have a lot in common. Prickly on the outside, a little broken on the inside, and in desperate need of someone to hold them.

“Baby girl, what is the commotion?” I coo as her tiny arms reach up for me. “You can’t be partying this late. Your poor mama needs some rest.” I lift her into my arms, and her wet cheek nuzzles into my neck. Tiny fists grip at my shirt, and . . . she just cries harder. “Okay, you’re really mad. I get it. It seems like everyone is tonight, so you aren’t being original at all.”

<3

“You know when I get crabby? When I’m hungry. So you get that from me. Let’s try this again.”

I am swoonimg at every encounter Theo ans Vivi have

I place Vivi in her crib and put the warm bottle into her grabby hands before turning to face the woman who has occupied all the space in my brain since the first moment I laid eyes on her—since before that probably.

Swooning

Vivi is blissfully happy with a bottle in her crib, and Winter has her claws out just the way I like.

“Winter,” I rasp. “I have sponsors. And agents. Doctors and trainers. Those are business relationships. You and I are a lot of things, but business partners is not one of them.”

“Because the things I dream about doing to you are horribly unprofessional.”

Oof

I want her to be as sure as I am.

Ugh Theo I love you!

I draw back, and for several seconds, we stare at each other. Much like eighteen months ago, I think we realize there’s a fervor between us that neither of us can explain or resist.

Or maybe that’s just me. After all, she just announced me as the father of her child and also her business partner to our closest group of friends and family.

So sad Winter open up girly

I’m happy to take over tonight. I want to spend quality time with Vivi. That’s why I’m here. But fuck. I can’t keep pretending either. I want to spend quality time with Winter too.

Ugh

A small chuckle escapes me as the dog’s ears flatten against his bobble head. I like him. I’m pretty sure I’ve given people this look before. Peter is relatable, and I decide to ignore the fact he’s getting his little chihuahua hairs all over my fresh bed.

Awb that is what Theo said

But it’s hard to avoid the thought that I wasted my best years on Rob Valentine. I worked out. I ran. Made sure you could bounce a dime off my ass. I spent hours at the salon. All so I could hold up the facade of us being a storybook couple everyone would regard with envy. I looked my best and felt my worst. I can’t blame Theo for taking one long look at me and backing away slowly. Maybe it wasn’t the changes in my body, but the truth of who I am. A little petty. A little bitter. A lot closed off. Where’s the appeal?

NO!!!! So fucking sad

Because it seems Theo did, in fact, reach his parenting breaking point. But of course, it had to be the most precious, heart-twisting, ovary-bursting breaking point in the world.

Theo is asleep inside the crib. His muscular frame curls around the little girl tucked tightly into the crook of his arm with a peaceful, pleased expression on her face.

My job means I’m trained to let people go, but I have a sinking suspicion that letting Theo go will hurt more than it has any right to.

“I’ve always loved you and I want you to know that. Even when it hasn’t seemed like it. I know you’ve told me you don’t need me to explain myself, but I need to explain myself.”

Some guy who looks like he’s doing his best Drax imitation grunts while lifting heavy weights. He’s ridiculous.

“One time, he had to run to the office while you were napping. Except you woke up and cried. And god . . .” I run a hand through my hair, frustrated at myself because this isn’t the delivery I planned. “I must have been four at that point, but I couldn’t handle listening to you cry. And Marina planned to just leave you there. She said you were safe in your crib, but I . . .” I gaze out the window, making a mental note to research crying for no good fucking reason. If I wasn’t living the celibate life, I’d worry I’m pregnant again. “You didn’t sound safe. You sounded distraught. So, when she took a call and left me alone, I snuck into your room. I didn’t know what to do, so I crawled into your crib with you and held you. You still cried, but I felt like I was there for you all the same.”

“Why the fuck is everyone crying? Mondays aren’t that bad.”

At the salon, my nails finally have their day. I select a pretty shade of pink and Sloane picks a bright purple. After our massages, we fill our faces at our favorite spot in town, chat, and laugh until our cheeks hurt. It is truly the perfect girls’ day out. I feel more myself than I have in months. I feel more relaxed than I have in years. And when I get back that afternoon—all pampered, and rested, and sane—I walk into a spotless house. A happy little girl plays with wooden blocks on the carpet. Theo builds them up, and she knocks them down, laughing hysterically while he acts offended that she could do that to him. On the stove, a delicious aroma wafts from a large pot. Theo calls it “Brazilian Stroganoff” and says it’s something his dad used to make for his mom. And when I go to bed that night, the hinges on my door don’t squeak at all.

My heart <3

He can’t handle her claws. Not like I can.

With only a couple of steps, I’m behind her, crouching at the head of the bench, one hand gently cupping her throat as I stare down at her face. “It’s almost like you’ve forgotten I like when you hiss at me, Winter.”

Oof

“Don’t like what I see?” Her back is pressed up against my chest, pulse vibrating through her body. “Winter, you have no fucking idea what I see. No fucking clue how hard I’m trying not to be another person who needs something from you. I’m prioritizing what life has thrown at us in the past few weeks. I’m trying to give you what you need. But if you think I don’t like what I see, then I’m not the one who needs his head checked.” I swipe her ponytail to the side of her neck and drop a kiss on the top of her slender shoulder. “Because your wellbeing has quickly become my number one priority.”

“Because I wanted to be the type of guy who could land you for more than one night.” Her gaze bounces around my face. “You mean someone like me?” “No, Winter. I mean you. That’s why I gave up my old phone. That’s why I have your number on my new one. I intended to call you. You needed time to rebuild, and I needed time to grow into someone who deserves you. I was biding my time, being patient.”

“I’m done being patient, Tink. I’m coming for what I want. Right now.”

He treats me like I’m perfect. Irresistible. Worthy.

Because I want you, Winter. And not just for one night.”

“You do know you’re in love with that girl, don’t you?” I flop down beside her and sling an arm over her shoulder, ready to get lost in the very best medical drama while sitting beside one of my favorite women in the world. “Yeah, Mom. I know.”

“The only person who cared about me and how I was doing was my baby sister. The one I spent literal decades of my life treating like shit. She never stopped messaging me, never stopped trying, and I felt so, so unworthy.