Reckless (Chestnut Springs, #4)

by Elsie Silver

The quiet whoosh of air hits my cheek right as his spicy citrus scent hits my nose. People are too close. Hovering. Pushing in. “Back up!” I bark sharply. “It’s okay, she’s a doctor,” I hear Rhett say behind me. “Everybody back it up a bit.”

Without even noticing, the pad of my blissfully bare ring finger has started stroking along the bare skin of his neck. Tan and warm. And once I notice that I’m doing it, I don’t stop. “Please be okay,” I murmur under my breath. And then his eyes open, long dark lashes flicking up to reveal those dark onyx eyes. They take a minute to focus in on me and then a small, confused smile touches his lips. “Hi, Tink.”

“When I started out, I didn’t think wearing a helmet looked as cool.” “Yeah, brain injuries make you look so cool,” she scoffs, jaw popping with tension.

“Have you seen the episode of Grey’s Anatomy where McDreamy dies?” Her expression is one you’d use on a child, full of deprecation. But it’s a little lighter somehow. I’ll take it. I love watching this woman thaw. “Are you telling me you watch Grey’s Anatomy?” “Every episode of all eighteen seasons.”

I see the reflection of flashing red lights bouncing off the hospital. And the silhouette of Winter escaping the ambulance, getting away from me as fast as possible.

“Hi, Tink,” he says with a smirk. And how dare he smirk at me like that after everything? Knock me up, take off, and then fly back into town, gawking at me like I’m his next meal? Fuck him. “Looking forward to being your new neighbor.” My jaw drops and I almost laugh. What the fuck kind of cruel joke is this? He’s planning on living next door to Vivienne and pretending she’s not his? “Over my dead body.”

So, I turn away and toss out over my shoulder, “Shut your dog up, Theo. If it wakes my baby up, I’ll castrate you.” Then I slam the door on them in a fit of frustration. Then I hear Vivienne’s startled cry. Then I sink to the floor and cry too.

“Hard to believe Summer came out so nice when her sister came out like that.” Beau shakes his head as he comes back down the front steps with empty hands. “Winter is nice.” The sentence comes out with more force than intended, more than is appropriate for the situation.

I think I’ve felt protective of that woman since the first night I laid eyes on her. I didn’t know then how desperately she needed someone to be. That no one had ever been that for her. That she’s been fending for herself since before she should have needed to.

I watch him closely. His hands hang limply at his sides, but it’s the tremor in his voice when he says, “Can I see her?” that has my eyes filling with tears. I don’t know what the fuck is going on right now, but I do know that the man at my door deserves to see his daughter. I nod and turn to open the door, allowing him into our house. His presence is large and consuming when he steps inside.

Even in a moment like this, the air between us hums. It makes me want to lean back into him and have his arms wrap around me. It would feel so good to be held by someone.

“Winter.” My name is a breath on his lips this time. He reaches down and trails a knuckle over one of her full cheeks. Her little lips make a suckling motion, and she turns her head into his touch. “Oh god. What’s—” His free hand clamps up over his mouth. “Where’s the bathroom?”

I take Winter in, really take her in, seeing her in a different light now. Hair tossed up in a messy bun. Face makeup-free with dark circles under the eyes that are fixed on mine and wide as saucers. She looks tired but healthier than the last time I saw her. There’s a glow about her, like she spends time outside.

“Winter. Look at me.” Her tongue darts out to take a nervous swipe at her lips, but she doesn’t turn her gaze my way. I reach over, ignoring the sharp bite in my collarbone, and guide her chin gently with my fingers. When she finally gives me her eyes, I let my gaze trace them, wanting to know I have her full attention.

“If I had known, I’d have been here every step of the way. Supporting you in whatever way you needed. And Winter?” “Yeah?” For the first time tonight, her voice sounds weak. I catch a stray tear that slides down over the apple of her cheek and brush it away, tamping down the rage in my chest over how this entire thing played out. “Now that I’m here? I’m here. Okay? No expectations, but I want you to let me help you. I want to get to know her if that’s okay with you.” She nods, and more tears fall. I bring my other hand up and try to catch them all, but I fail.

I pull her head against my chest and opt to let her soak my already damp shirt. Seems like the least I can do for this woman aft...

Winter: Just don’t tell anyone. It’s his story to tell. Sloane: What story? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Sloane: LMAO. See what I did there? Winter: Did Jasper fuck all the brain cells out of your head with his massive dick? Sloane: You love me. Winter: I do.

Watching Theo hold Vivienne for the first time does a lot of things to me. First, it makes me want to hurl in much the same way he did last night. There’s something profoundly overwhelming about seeing his eyes latch onto hers while her small hand wraps around his finger. “Hi, baby girl,” he murmurs. “It’s so nice to meet you.” The sweet cooing noise she makes back at him, like she’s an instant goner for this man, makes me want to cry.

I never cry. It’s just not my thing. It’s pointless, and I always feel tired and bereft afterward—not better. But when I can see him getting emotional just looking at her, holding her in his arms so naturally, it hits me in a way I never, ever saw coming.

“Look how beautiful you are.” The sun lights Theo and Vivienne’s faces in the same warm, golden hue. “You look just like your mom.” Vivienne stares up at him and giggles, small hands reaching for the stubble on his cheeks, squealing when it rasps against her palms.

Vivienne laughs and continues running her hands over his face. And gah, I can’t even blame her.

“So, what led you to pick Vivienne?” I chug back a hot gulp of coffee. Yes, more coffee. Why am I so emotional? I need to get this shit on lock before I go back to work in a few months. If I cry while I deliver bad news to people, I might as well quit. “Um . . .” I glance around the room, feeling like I might be stronger if I don’t have to look at them. “It means ‘alive’ and, well . . . she made me feel alive again. She made it when my last baby didn’t. And it felt like a good adult name, you know? Like she could be prime minister with a name like that.” Theo hums happily and smiles down at Vivienne. “Prime minister? Good for you, girl.

“Listen, if you’re not comfortable, I can leave. I don’t want to barge in here and demand time you aren’t ready to give. This must be weird for you.” For me. That’s the final straw. Tears build in a way that is impossible to stop. All my life, not a single person has prioritized how things might feel for me. And here is this man I barely know, prioritizing me.

“I can’t think of a single better person to watch her right now.” He nods, eyes scanning me just a little too closely. I nod back and head to the bathroom to cry in my bath. And maybe watch some porn.

“Hi,” I whisper as I walk over to them. Theo glances up at me but does a double take. “What?” “You just . . .” His lips roll together. “You look beauti—different.” I almost smirk. Beautidifferent. “Well, I put on some makeup. How is she?” He stares back down at her. “Perfect.”

He peers up at me. “No, Winter. You. She can’t wait to meet you.” He’s being serious again, and I want to squirm under the intensity of his stare. “That should be interesting.” I laugh. “Hope she’s not too disappointed.” But Theo doesn’t follow suit. Instead, he scowls at me.

“Good nap, Vivi?” I ask, my voice swapping to a softer one. She yawns, body tensing as she stretches out like a happy cat in a sunbeam. Theo has a way of making a girl feel like that when he turns his attention to her. I know. I remember. Her head tilts, and she looks up at Theo. “Hi, baby girl.” That “baby girl” thing in his deep voice will be my undoing. I just know it. She smiles, almost bashfully, and reaches for me.

It has been a couple of years since I left the circuit. Dinner sometime instead?” I clench my molars, prepared for him to say yes. Why wouldn’t he say yes? His hand swipes through his hair and he steps away. “Ya know, I’m in the middle of something. Something I have a good feeling about. So it’s a no.” My stomach goes hot, like it’s melting in on itself.

Her responding laugh is shriller this time, her tone not as sweet. “Oh, my bad. I didn’t realize you were with someone.” His eyes slice over to mine, busting me. Again. “I’m not. Yet.”

“It’s annoying how good you are at all things dad-ing.” Vivi babbles in the back seat as she beats on a fabric book that makes loud crinkling noises. We’re heading out to the ranch to let the cat out of the bag. Or, rather, let the dad out of the bag. “Dad-ing?” I arch a brow at Winter from the driver’s side of my truck. She looks like an angry Barbie doll, arms tucked tight over her ribs, which does nothing but push her tits up. I’m already distracted by them, so this isn’t helping.

Like just now. Doing the car seat? Simple. Feeding her? No problem. Changing a diaper? Immediately faster than me. Bathing her? Like you’ve done it a million times. Getting her into a carrier? Not a single cuss word while you struggle with a strap. It’s annoying.” “Gosh, Winter. I didn’t know we were competing. Do you have a special trophy for me?” I don’t bother hiding the humor in my voice. In the past week, I’ve come to her house every morning, hot coffee in hand. Despite how badly this whole thing has fucked with my head, I keep a smile on my face and put my best foot forward to learn everything.

“Don’t tell me things like that,” is her hushed reply. “Why? I’m not going to lie to you about it. I have nothing to hide. I assumed you knew you didn’t take my virginity that night.” She snorts and stares out the window, chewing at her nails. “Why does that bug you, Winter?” “Because you can’t have women traipsing in and out of your house willy-nilly if you’re going to have Vivi around!” “Well, they aren’t exactly coming down one hundred strong.” “They fucking better not. You’re a dad now. Have your one-night stands somewhere else.” “Like the Rosewood Inn?” I snipe, still unable to keep myself from firing her up. Still getting off on watching her go from cool and unaffected to this.

“Sorry. I’m freaking out.” “I know.” I smile as we pass by the gas station where I first laid eyes on her. “I’m being a bitch.” “No, you aren’t. You’re just using the coping skills you’ve got.”

Winter’s head tilts in my direction and her brows furrow. “Why are you holding her back?” Her body jostles as I pull to a stop near the main house. All river rock and stained logs with a tin roof and spacious wrap-around deck. “I don’t know. Just trying to give you and me a second to figure things out.” “You and me.” She shakes her head, followed by a scoff.

With one hand propped above me on the roof of the truck, I lean in, my lips hovering over hers as I whisper, “That’s a fascinating assessment, Winter. But I’m not pretending a single fucking thing. Because for a year and a half all I’ve had to do is remember you and me that night to be stuck walking around all day like this.”

I cross a line. My hand darts out and I grip her wrist, pulling her hand down to slide it over my rock-hard cock. She doesn’t pull away. The only thing moving on her are her irises, tracing my face, her expression carefully blank. But then her fingers flex over my dick. She puffs out a breath and licks her lips as I groan and drop my head. The sliver of space between us crackles as one finger moves, running over the denim that divides us. Her touch is painfully, deliberately slow.

Summer is oblivious. But I don’t think Winter is anymore.

Theo, who refused to sit anywhere but next to Vivi. Not that I can blame him, but still. I’m not oblivious to the quick looks people are shooting at him. Shooting at us.

Willa, whose shrewd eyes jump between Theo and me. Cade, who is managing their daughter Emma and their son Luke, who has barely lifted his head from shoveling the pasta into his mouth like his parents haven’t fed him in days. Sloane and Jasper, who might as well be eating with her on his lap for how close they’re sitting. And Beau, who’s doing his best to steal the asshole crown from me, is opposite Harvey at the head of the table,

“What?” Harvey says over a mouthful of watermelon. “It’s been a couple of hours now. Are we all just gonna keep sitting here pretending Theo isn’t Vivi’s dad? I mean, look at them.” My lips twitch and my cheeks heat. Fucking Harvey. Theo saves me. Like always. “Well, Winter and I spent a lot of time talking about how to bring this up, but I should have known to just leave it to you, Harv.”

Sloane is sitting straight across from me, hand on her chest, pretending to be shocked. Bless her. “Thank you,” I mouth to her. She shakes her head and waves me off. “Wait.” Sweet Jasper looks genuinely confused. I owe Sloane a flat of Buddyz Best lager for keeping this secret as close as she has.

When I glance at Theo on the other side of Vivi’s highchair that separates us, he has his palms pressed into the sockets of his eyes, body shaking with silent laughter. “Seriously, Theo?” I hiss at him, trying to sound menacing, but a giggle slips into my voice. “Sorry. I just need a minute after that.” He looks up at me, wiping tears from his eyes, thick dark lashes clumped together as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Thank you for that explanation, Harvey. When Vivienne gets older and asks how we met, I’ll be sure to drop her off with you.” “No,” Cade jumps in. “Don’t give him any ideas. Young, impressionable minds do not need the Harvey Eaton version of the birds and the bees.” “I think when Grandpa told me about the birds and the bees, he used rabbits instead,” Luke adds innocently.

Rhett turns his attention to me. “You didn’t tell him? Or anyone? You’ve known all this time, and you didn’t say anything?” There’s disbelief in his voice, but also accusation. Of course, he’d think the worst of me. I might be sitting at the table with this family, but I’m not one of them. No matter what I do, they’ll always regard me with a hint of suspicion. Theo snaps his fingers over the table, drawing his mentor’s attention back to himself. He went from looking amused to downright murderous. “Watch your fucking tone when you’re talking to the mother of my child.”

Theo glances my way, wide palm rubbing his daughter’s back as she nuzzles into the crook of his neck. Like she just knows he’s hers somehow. Hers in a way that he’ll never be mine.

Winter turns her head at a snail’s pace, like she’s resisting a force that’s overpowering her. Our eyes meet. Vivi is asleep in my arms, but Winter’s attention is on me. I can’t quite place the look on her face, and I do my best to keep my features casually blank. Try to put on a smiling face and not give away to a lively group of happy people that being referred to as a business partner makes me want to flip the fucking table.

He flinches, his eyes widening. “Wow. Alright. It’s just that Winter is kind of⁠—” “What?” I cut him off. “Strong? Intelligent? A fantastic fucking mom? Because if you were thinking words about her that are anything less than positive, then you’ve found the line.”

Rhett chuckles. “I’ve never seen this side of you.” “What side?” I mumble, staring down at Vivi’s serene face, studying the way her dark fringe of lashes fans delicately over her full rosy cheeks. “This . . . this . . .” He waves a hand up and down my frame when I peek up at him. “This papa bear side of you.

But you know it doesn’t mean you have to like Winter. She’s a complicated woman. I mean, she’s family, but she’s not always e...

She’ll feel like she needs to fix me. That’s just how she is.” “You don’t need fixing, Winter.” I swallow the ache in my throat. That seems like too much for a child to process, let alone bear. “But what about you?” She waves me off. “I’ll survive.” “And what about the child you once were?”