When the priest asked the congregation to kneel, I knelt too. Then I bowed my head and tried to think about what it all meant—the contract, the band, the money, my goddamn career. I hate the connotation of the word “career.” It doesn’t seem to truly account for the way I spend my time. It embodies all the direct opposites of my hows and whys and most of all it implies a choice, and I’ve never felt like I had any choice. I do what I do out of need and necessity, and because it’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at, not as a means to an end, not even for money or the adulation of the world,
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