The Dresden Files Books 1-6

by Jim Butcher

I think that men ought to treat women like something other than just shorter, weaker men with breasts.

And you do this by holding the door open for them? Like you would never do for a man.

Her eyes glittered with cheerfully malicious ambition.

“There’s a sports bottle on my table down there.

Nope. Do not buy it. It's labeled, and we all know the other one is in your pocket. I am not interested in love potion shenanigans.

like a balloon with no air.”

Like a balloon and something bad happens!

It was Victor.”

Duh-doi.

built small, but designed to draw in energy, to get bigger and stronger, an arthropod version of Frankenstein’s monster.

As far as I'm aware, Frankenstein's monster did not get bigger with power.

and brought it smiting down over the other man’s back.

What other man? When was there another man?

The funny thing was that the problems between Murphy and me came from the same source as the problems with Kim Delaney earlier tonight.

And yet you think it's a good idea to keep doing it.

She had nothing to use against some of the things she encountered, no weapon but the knowledge that I was able to give her—and last spring I had taken that weapon away from her, left her defenseless and unprepared.

boogers of every kind.

Eh?!

You had that warrant out for me and then had it rescinded.

Well, to be fair, she pretty much got that warrant out of spite.

I have what might be considered a very out-of-date and chauvinist attitude about women. I like to treat women like ladies. I like to open doors for them, pay for the meal when I’m on a date, bring flowers, draw out their seat for them—all that sort of thing. I guess I could call it an attitude of chivalry, if I thought more of myself. Whatever you called it, Murphy was a lady in distress. And since I had put her there, it only seemed right that I should get her out of trouble, too.

Fuck you, Henry Cavill I mean Dresden. I hope this attitude changes before book 6.

It seemed I was making a habit of excluding people from certain brands of information.

Only certain people. Women. I'm referring to women.

“Harry,” she said, in a calm tone. “You lying bastard,” and on the word she drove her fist into my stomach, hard, doubling me over.

This again. Are we going to have to do this every book?

That’s the great thing about being a wizard. I can always tell myself, honestly, that things could be worse.

“Bitch,” MacFinn cursed,

I'm sure you think your clever, what with the whole wolf angle, but this is starting to reek of misogyny. They're supposed to be in love. And if it's a clue, it's a stupid one.

I hated to draw Susan into this. It made me feel cheap, somehow. Weak. It was that whole problem with chivalry that I had. I didn’t want a girl to be riding to my rescue, protecting me.

Woman, you little shit. Jesus, Butcher, I hope this is meant to be a character flaw that will be addressed at some point.

My double snorted. “That’s good. That really is, the banter thing.

Disagree.

“Murph,” I said, quietly, and knelt down by the image. “Stars above. What have I done to you?” The image, the memory, didn’t hear me. She just wept silent, bitter tears. My double knelt on the other side of the apparition. “Nothing, Harry,” he said. “What happened at the police station wasn’t your fault.” “Like hell it wasn’t,” I snarled. “If I’d have been faster, gotten there sooner, or if I’d told her the truth from the beginning—”

UUGGGHHHHHHHHH

You’ve been trying to protect Murphy all along, instead of making her able to protect herself. She’s going to be fighting these kinds of things, Harry, and you won’t always be there to babysit her. Instead of trying to play shepherd, you need to play coach, and get her into shape to do what she needs to do.”

FINALLY SOME SENSE

“You should ask her out sometime, too.” “I should what?” I said. “You heard me. You’re repressing big time, man.”

Hahahahaha ok, I like this Harry.

“She is a creature of the Nevernever.

Oh, is that decided now?

my parents, God rest their souls, were in no position to leave me anything, much less articles of silver, or I’d deal with him myself.

You are rich enough to fucking buy some silver. Or if it has to be an ancestor's, doesn't it have to be Harley's? Either way, this is a stupid bit of dialogue.

Polite and smiling bastards who didn’t care about the lives they ruined, the people they destroyed, so long as business continued as usual.

Welcome to America.

“Tera? Is that you? How did you know it was me?”

Because she heard you, dumbass! You just spoke!

She was offering to give her life for me,

No, for MacFinn.

I know things.

Do you drink, too?

“Why the Streetwolves?” I said, instead of shooting him. “Why send me off to check them out?” “Denton figured they’d kill you,” Harris spat. “And get you out of our hair.” I nodded. It figured, that someone else had been trying to kill me the whole while, and I hadn’t really noticed.

HOW DID YOU NOT ALREADY FIGURE THAT OUT?

It was something personal for her—I knew that much, but not why.

Some soulgaze.

pushed my hand out at the square shape, like a grade-school girl throwing a baseball wrong handed.

Fuck. Off.

“I’m with the FBI. I don’t do anything that could be construed as funny, Mr. Dresden.”

MIB was better. No ma'am, we at the FBI do not have a sense of humour we're aware of.

The Alphas, Tera, Marcone, Murphy. They were all where they were because of me. It was my fault we were there, my doing that we were all about to die. Carmichael, the poor jerk, was dead, also because of me. So were other good cops. So was Hendricks.

Rubbish.

the huge she-wolf,

Unless you're going to say "he-wolf" also, this is totally unnecessary.

You’re such a pompous, arrogant, pretentious, chauvinistic, hopelessly old-fashioned, stupidly pigheaded . . .” Murphy went on

That's why you're meant to be. Because she understands you.

Hell of a girl.

Woman.

“No, Harry Dresden. That is not the way of my kind.

Translation: I don't want to.

Michael frowned at me. “You’re sleeping with her, aren’t you?” he said.

Who the crap is this asshole?

But I’m a sucker for a lady in distress. I always have been. It’s a weak point in my character, a streak of chivalry a mile wide and twice as deep.

Are you sure "chivalry" is the word you're looking for?

“No, by God.

WE GET IT