Louisa Pateman

“It was a jungle out there, and it was brutal. On the rare occasion when I started a conversation with a possible suitor, I found myself having to roll off a ten-minute questionnaire just to figure out if said man was actually available. I couldn’t just ask if he was single; as history had taught me, each man has his own unique definition of that status. I had to ask a range of questions: “Are you married?” “Are you engaged?” “Are you living with a woman?” “Do you have a girlfriend?” “Are you seeing anyone?” “Are you emotionally available?” A missed question could result in a strategic omission of fact and a subsequent waste of my time. Many men were hedging their bets or playing the market. I needed to be savvy. And wedding rings: what is it with married men not wearing wedding rings? As a single woman, my first glance is always at a man’s ring finger. No ring means fair game. It is hard enough finding a decent man without wasting an hour chatting with a potential only to find he neglected to wear the one thing that declared his commitment. Not a level playing field!”
― Louisa Pateman, Single, Again, and Again, and Again …: What Do You Do When Life Doesn't Go to Plan?