How to Win Friends & Influence People in Bangalore Open Library

Feb 01, 2022 Akhil Pamburayam rated it it was amazing

When my father was 25, he came to Bangalore City penniless, not knowing the local language or English, with no place to stay, no contacts and no job.

Working in factories, taking up repair work, painting houses, driving cars, he's done it all. During this time he bought a thin little book called "How to win friends and influence people". It was written in a language he couldn't fully understand, and talked of people he had never heard of. But he read it nonetheless, cover to cover, over and over When my father was 25, he came to Bangalore City penniless, not knowing the local language or English, with no place to stay, no contacts and no job.

Working in factories, taking up repair work, painting houses, driving cars, he's done it all. During this time he bought a thin little book called "How to win friends and influence people". It was written in a language he couldn't fully understand, and talked of people he had never heard of. But he read it nonetheless, cover to cover, over and over again. That was 25 years ago, and even today he says he returns to this book nearly annually.

At 17 I once infuriated my English teacher so much that she said "Akhil you're too arrogant and will never succeed at anything". I had been arguing with her on some vague subject in front of the class. Continuing even post class, I tried convincing her of how stupid her ideas were. And maybe half an hour into this is when she said the above sentence. I thought at the time I had proved my point and spent the rest of the day gloating. I sent another email in the evening to just push my argument further. And she simply replied that I needed to get over myself.

When my father heard that this happened he was appalled. He tried explaining what an awful thing I did but I couldn't understand. I'd been right! She was wrong. And that was that.

He handed me his 20 year old copy of this book and said read this. And I did. Over and over again, cover to cover.

Although I can't say I've always been able to abide by the principles here, I think I've always tried. And the chief most of the principles is empathy and kindness towards all.

Among self help books I've read, I've always found the authors voice to be sleazy and preachy. But even rereading it now after 5 years I still believe the author to be a genuine guy all in all. He idolizes Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln, who are now my own idols. And it's only now that I'm beginning to appreciate how much this book impacted me.

Maybe you have to be at a certain mindset (or lack a certain one) to truly appreciate this book. All I know is that it did wonders for me.

At the end of the year, that English teacher was leaving our school. Everybody loved her, and so a few others and I bought some cake and threw her a surprise party. I didn't apologize, but the way she smiled in the photographs say I was forgiven. ...more

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