From the Bookshelf of Constant Reader…

Colonel Scheisskopf was all ears. "What are bomb patterns?"

"Bomb pa

Colonel Scheisskopf was all ears. "What are bomb patterns?"

"Bomb patterns?" General Peckem repeated, twinkling with self-satisfied good humor. "A bomb pattern is a term I dreamed up just several weeks ago. It means nothing, but you'd be surprised at how rapidly it's caught on. Why, I've got all sorts of people convinced I think it's important for the bombs to explode close together and make a neat aerial photograph. There's one colonel in Pianosa who's hardly concerned any more with whether he hits the target or not. Let's fly over and have some fun with him today. It will make Colonel Cargill jealous, and I learned from Wintergreen this morning that General Dreedle will be off in Sardinia. It drives General Dreedle insane to find out I've been inspecting one of his installations while he's been off inspecting another. We may even get there in time for the briefing. They'll be bombing a tiny undefended village, reducing the whole community to rubble. I have it from Wintergreen -- Wintergeen's an ex-sergeant now, by the way -- that the mission is entirely unnecessary. Its only purpose is to delay the German reinforcements at a time when we aren't even planning an offensive. But that's the way things go when you elevate mediocre people to positions of authority." He gestured languidly toward his gigantic map of Italy. "Why, this tiny mountain village is so insignificant that it isn't even there."