From the Bookshelf of Around the World in 80 Books…

To preface the novel with a sentimental, "beautiful prose style" appearance. Floral cover, blue and pink, a woman named Janie reflecting on the struggles of cultural differences (?), longing for Korea (not really?), while her father is dying of cancer. MEANWHILE her younger sister Hannah goes ~missing~

Not sure about an alternative title still, but

To preface the novel with a sentimental, "beautiful prose style" appearance. Floral cover, blue and pink, a woman named Janie reflecting on the struggles of cultural differences (?), longing for Korea (not really?), while her father is dying of cancer. MEANWHILE her younger sister Hannah goes ~missing~

Not sure about an alternative title still, but if someone told me this book is about a passive-aggressive Ph.D. Math student at the University of Chicago who has a hard time making decisions and feels bitter about being responsible like a mother to her younger sister who is more "free"/has more agency, then I would have started reading sooner vs. waiting until the day before the book club meeting, lol.

Janie is so frustrating. Her character resonates deeply with me in a dissatisfying, please don't let me be like this sort of way. Most novels would have told this story thru the p.o.v. of Hannah, whose thoughts match mine more. Hannah studies what she wants (something related to biology, taking care of animals, the environment) while Janie chooses math to fulfill what her father wasn't able to in Korea, since the family had to leave. Janie never examines any of her decisions critically, and she makes so many assumptions about what she's expected to do that you have this feeling that her entire life has been a LIE and that she's not ready to admit this yet which is why she isn't giving the reader any of this.

Disappear is a recurring word. The first time it appears is re: Hannah's "disappearance" which sets this up to be a mystery or detective story about a missing girl, but it's not as anticlimactic as Ciara Xyerra's review because there's a lot more tension going on with the family that I completely understand. Not sure how to explain it but it's not so typical or simple to just move away or move out of the family. It's such a big deal that Hannah's move is considered a disappearance. To disappear, according to Janie, is also "a kind of love" in which your invisibility is to make space for your partner. This bothers me but w/e. Multiple uses of this word. Vastly different meanings.

- Janie is a coward. She makes the safest decisions but of course sometimes it's impossible to know what is the safer thing to do, and in those moments, she makes a BAD decision and tries to justify it as something others would want her to do (protection spell: say to yourself that it was done on behalf of someone else). Example: Janie is in Korea with her family and her dad might have 1 month to live. She has been falling behind on her dissertation. Her adviser asks to meet with her (in Chicago) and she says yes. So she spontaneously buys an expensive plane ticket to go to Chicago for 12 days and her mom is like "what?? don't!" and Janie's like, "I'm doing this for dad!!" while not actually knowing what her dad would want -__-

- lots of other things

- more things to discuss but yeah

It's worth reading.