Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother in Around the World in 80 Books

Apr 10, 2011 Tanya rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2011

Up to Chapter 16: I can agree with Chua that "All decent parents want to do what's best for their children." But her way is just one example and with all the press and the contrast with the current media blitz about "Racing to Nowhere," she has darn good timing and is sure to make a lot of money from this biography of her parenting style.

I guess I'm not stereotypically Western in that I also believe in "preparing [my children] for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming Up to Chapter 16: I can agree with Chua that "All decent parents want to do what's best for their children." But her way is just one example and with all the press and the contrast with the current media blitz about "Racing to Nowhere," she has darn good timing and is sure to make a lot of money from this biography of her parenting style.

I guess I'm not stereotypically Western in that I also believe in "preparing [my children] for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills work habits, and inner confidence." I don't view this as a way of "protecting my kids," but providing them with tools and resources to assist them towards reaching their full potential. But I'm Western in that I also believe in giving them opportunities which allow for them to explore a variety of avenues to help them discover their true passions and talents rather than dictating to them that it must be the one path that I choose (for Chua the only path available to her young children was music).

I've had trouble getting to even the midpoint of this book. Having read highlights in various media sources, including the Wall Street Journal, most of the key points of controversy had already been highlighted and the book was rather boring with it's daily dramas of the struggles of having the girls, especially Lulu, practice her music as well as the arrogant tone towards Western parents. I'd love to read Lulu's book when she decides to write one. Somehow, I see her moving towards a career as a comedian though (and there are some really great ones, such as Ken Jeong, who bucked traditional Asian upbringing and left his career as a physician to follow his true passion of comedy and acting-but I digress).

It was interesting that Chua could observe about herself that she's "not good at enjoying life," (p 97) but I found it so sad that she was unwilling to grant her MIL's wish to spend a full day with each daughter because they were too busy with homework, Chinese language tutors, and instrument practice. The path she has chosen for her daughters' futures seems lacking in human connection and so pathetic because I doubt her children will look back on their lives and wish they'd had one more day of musical lessons rather than that one precious day with their grandmother.

The whole story of the birthday card incident made me cringe. She coldly summed it up though, "if you force [your children] to do what you want, you don't have to be mad at them." And she willingly tolerates that her children will be mad at her because she believes she has already chosen the right path for her kids and it is too "idealistic" to allow them any choices because they'd never make the "right" ones. She is way too focused on the future to enjoy the present. In the back of my mind, I can't erase my curiosity about whether any of her parenting choices would have been different had she raised a son instead of two daughters.

I'm still curious about how she was "humbled by a 13 year old" so I'll keep reading, even though I believe I already know the spoiler (giving up music for tennis?). It's not going to be easy to keep reading about the "clash of Eastern and Western parental worldviews."

Upon finishing the book a day later: thank goodness I not only stuck it out to finish the book, but the author tempered her strategy somewhat. It was still hard to read the assumptions and generalizations she makes about THE Western parenting style of taking the easy way out and their "typical," "predictable," "common and low" offspring. The author can at least admit she "made a career out of spurning the kind of Western parents who can't control their kids" and yet this is most likely the ones that are buying her book and making her bank account grow. Ugh! It feels manipulative, but that's also the way the whole book has felt and the description of her parenting experience. I want to believe that she is learning to embrace allowing her daughters to make choices about their future without being micromanaged. Afterall, she was able to "revise her dreams" for her dogs, so hopefully she can do it with her children as they become adults too. I hope her daughters, if they choose to have families, have much less fighting, arguing, yelling, screaming, control issues, power struggles, and excruciating pressure when they become moms.

So, yes, Amy Chua has described all the efforts she put into her children and all the love she has for them. It may not be the way Western parents prepare their children for the future, but thank goodness we have choices. ...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Ellen Librarian rated it really liked it

I was fascinated by this look into the life of a modern Chinese-American family. Amy Chua has written an honest, unflinching account of her life as a "Chinese" mother who becomes at least somewhat Americanized.

Although Chua has been vilified for not allowing her daughters to have playdates or sleepovers, and I doubt many Americans wish she was their Mom, I'd argue she makes the case for her parenting practices. The details of such a lifestyle that is so foreign to so many of us - yet is also in ...more

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Feb 02, 2011 Carol rated it liked it

I actually enjoyed this book. We listened to the audio version as we drove to and from my daughter's college audition on the violin (14 hours round trip) so we had many connections with the author and her daughters. We also are familiar with the violin/piano playing Chinese prodigies. It was helpful to hear Amy Chua's voice and the tone she used to tell her family's stories. We had lots of laughs and some good discussion. Turns out my daughter thinks I did a pretty good job- especially after hea ...more

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Mar 18, 2012 Jessica rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, china, memoir, parenting, marys-moms

Even with the updated afterword, I still finished this with the feeling that Chua's memoir isn't nearly as introspective and self-deprecating as she seems to think it is. Throughout the book, it's almost painful to see how she tries to play events for comedy value but still maintain the frame of justification that she's built around her approach to raising her daughters. Her daughter Lulu hits the nail on the head when she argues in a fit of anger that Chua's parenting style is more for her bene ...more

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Jan 22, 2011 Telly rated it really liked it

I think much of what you read about this book in online reviews, magazines, and newspapers is sensationalized. Her parenting style is actually not that bad, at least I don't think so. Then again, I encouraged my sixth grade son to write his book report on Beowulf -- the old English version.

By the end of the book, due to her own experiences, Chua ends up undergoing somewhat of an epiphany and striking what I perceive to be a nice balance. If you're interested, the oldest daughter started her own ...more

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Jul 07, 2011 Amy 💖 rated it liked it

Shelves: kindle, biography-memoirs, culture-or-country

I really liked the first half, but the second was monotonous.

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May 24, 2011 Erin (NY) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: books-i-own, non-fiction, read-in-2011

I really liked this book. The interviews/articles definitely didn't give it justice, there is much more insight in it. I liked learning about the "Chinese parenting" philosophy. ...more

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