Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman in Around the World in 80 Books

Feb 12, 2018 Jillian rated it it was amazing

Feminism is a mode of thinking that challenges oppressive stereotypes as well as the way society tells us that women "should" be: small, quiet, easy-going, patient, deferential, etc. Lindy West is, in almost every way, the opposite of the stereotypically "acceptable" female. She is fat--a word she embraces--loud, unapologetic, aggressive, judgmental, and refuses to accept what she finds unacceptable. She is also funny, a word not usually associated with women. Words like "hysterical," "shrill," Feminism is a mode of thinking that challenges oppressive stereotypes as well as the way society tells us that women "should" be: small, quiet, easy-going, patient, deferential, etc. Lindy West is, in almost every way, the opposite of the stereotypically "acceptable" female. She is fat--a word she embraces--loud, unapologetic, aggressive, judgmental, and refuses to accept what she finds unacceptable. She is also funny, a word not usually associated with women. Words like "hysterical," "shrill," or "difficult" have been used to describe women who don't act the way they are "supposed" to. The word "bitch" is used to describe outgoing women who speak their mind and aren't afraid of repercussions, or are not constantly apologizing for themselves. Lindy has also publicly challenged misogyny in the culture: saying on TV that rape jokes aren't funny (and explaining why they aren't funny--rape culture), speaking honestly about her own abortion to support the pro-choice political movement, speaking without shame about her weight, even standing up to her boss Dan Savage when he was out of line and fat-shaming readers. Lindy both publicly and personally rejects stereotypes, most of all by taking up space: physical space, public space, cyber space. We live in a culture where if a women says "I don't hate myself" she is considered proud or vain or unlikeable, especially if she is not conventionally beautiful/thin/young. We're told by the patriarchal system that if we don't look a certain way, our value decreases. But Lindy refuses to let that cultural message shift the way she sees herself--ultimately as lovable, acceptable, and valuable as she is. In the larger system, emphasis is rarely placed on our humor, intelligence, skill, or career, and Lindy references her success and prowess in all of these areas without feeling guilty for doing so. If feminism tells us that women can do what men do, then someone like Lindy embodies that philosophy by living a life where she does what a man does--and then writes about the way people can't handle it (trolls/threats/constant criticism, etc). Lindy helps the feminist movement because she embodies it's essence: loud, strong, resilient, funny, big, and ultimately, powerful.

This book was all the things: great, upsetting, hilarious, infuriating, meaningful, silly, boring, intense, scary, heartbreaking, hopeful, empowering... I am now infatuated with Lindy West and need to read more of her writing. While I’m not big into reading online or reading blogs, I would love to hear more of her thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This was amazing as an audiobook and I highly recommend reading it with your ears! Lindy’s voice is filled with all of the laugher, emotion, and outrage present in her words. ...more

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Sep 16, 2016 Ryan rated it it was amazing

Shelves: borrowed, 2016, audiobooks

The beauty of an audiobook: listening to the cadence in West's voice as she recounts her experience being trolled for her beliefs and as she describes what she decided to do about it.

"Shrill" is the farthest thing from my mind to describe those chapters. ...more

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Apr 25, 2017 Nadine in NY Jones rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir-and-autobiographical-essays, audio, feminist-stuff, essays

This was a bit uneven, but overall a powerful and amusing book. I loved the last two-thirds. The final (short) essay was the strongest, but you have to work your way through the rest for it to work.

I loved Lindy West's articles in Jezebel, so I was really looking forward to listening to this. At first, I was disappointed, because the first four chapters didn't work for me at all. I think maybe this was meant to be a series of relatable and humorous anecdotes, and ... no. It wasn't. It wasn't rel This was a bit uneven, but overall a powerful and amusing book. I loved the last two-thirds. The final (short) essay was the strongest, but you have to work your way through the rest for it to work.

I loved Lindy West's articles in Jezebel, so I was really looking forward to listening to this. At first, I was disappointed, because the first four chapters didn't work for me at all. I think maybe this was meant to be a series of relatable and humorous anecdotes, and ... no. It wasn't. It wasn't relatable. I'm too old and I was never that insecure, and I don't call tampons "vagina plugs," nor do I find that amusing.

First essay, Lady Kluck, didn't do much for me, because most of the pop culture fat women she lists are not familiar to me. This is a case where you really need to know the pop culture shit in order to care about her opinions on that culture. I was bored. I fast-forwarded.

Second essay Bones
"In a certain light, feminism is just the long, slow realization that the stuff you love hates you." Great line, but ugh, Howard Stern? Don't be a Stern apologist. He is vile and I've detested him since his early days on WNBC-AM. She makes excuses for loving him, but ugh no. It was NOT "magnificent entertainment," and it never "felt like a family."

I was thinking, "why do I keep trying these semi-celebrity/humorous/feminist/memoir/essay books? They never work for me!" But then, finally, it clicked. The book worked. From chapter six on, it got better and better! (Exception: the comedy stand-up name-dropping part - but it turned out she had a reason later for rattling off all those names. So okay, I didn't like it, but it was only a few minutes long and it was needed for her later bit about how men dominate the conversation about comedy.)

I'm a fat woman, too, so I really identified with those parts, and the bit about "butt safety" had me laughing knowingly. I'm almost fifty, though, which is - blissfully - the age of: "I don't give a fuck what you think, deal with me as-is." (Why does no one tell you this when you're younger??? Yeah, the aches and pains of age suck, but your self confidence soars!)

I was left with "good book" feeling when it ended. I'm sorry my review is mostly complaints! The good parts were so good that I didn't waste time taking notes. Also, I listened to a big chunk of it while driving from NJ to NY, so no time for notes.

An aside, that has nothing really to do with the book: West mentioned so many times how cute, handsome, slim, and conventionally attractive her (now) husband, Aham, is. And when she complained that too often, people don't see them as a couple because they do not "match," I nodded knowingly. But .... after I finished, I googled photos of them, and while it's really sweet that she thinks her husband is a hottie, and he is cute,I am sad for her that she thinks he's more attractive than she is. Because, he's not. On the "conventionally attractive" scale, Lindy and Aham are a matched set. Some people don't see them as a "matched set" because she is white and he is a man of color. People proposition him because for some reason some people always assume a mixed race couple is together solely for the fetish of the other skin color. (This happened to me, too, when I was one half of a mixed-race couple. To my shock, two guys propositioned me during that time, when they KNEW I was involved with someone. They knew him. I can only assume these guys figured I'd go for any black man? I don't know. It was weird.) It's like, some people can't conceive of someone genuinely being into the other person who happens to have a different skin color. I guess Ms West is still very sensitive to being fat, and maybe she is naively unaware of the full extent of racism around her? I mean, I'm sure she's plenty aware, but perhaps still a bit blinded by the issues she continues to face as a fat woman who dares to speak up and take up space. ...more

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Mar 22, 2018 Jen rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites, books-that-changed-me

This is the book I needed in my life and I wish I had it when I was younger. Lindy West perfectly encapsulates what it's like to move through the world as a fat woman. She has validated the belief that everyone deserves love and caring and does it in a poignant and heartfelt way. To be very cliche I laughed and cried my way through this book and just thinking about it makes me want to do both. Thank you for this Lindy West and I know this will be a book I revisit. ...more

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Oct 02, 2016 Katie rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, female-author, feminism-women-s-issues

In this book Lindy West tackles issues such as abortion, fat-shaming, internet trolling, and misogyny. She makes a lot of powerful statements about these issues and has been doing so for years. The negative attention she has gotten over her willingness to speak honestly about these things is horrifying.

In one chapter, she relates her experience after she publicly talked about how rape is not an appropriate subject for comedy. Seems like a no-brainer. The response she got from other comedians an ...more

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Nov 12, 2022 Andy Plonka rated it it was ok

Shelves: src

Everyone is entitled to a chance to decide upon their own lifestyle as the author of this book . While I admire her tenacity to remain fat even though most of the people to whom she is related by birth or marriage are not avid supporters of her choice, but respect her right to live life as she wishes. I can't say that I agree with her assertion that airplanes in particular should offer overweight people access to seats for large people at a reasonable rate, airlines are in the transportation bus ...more

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