Nausea in Existentialism

Jul 22, 2011 Jimmy rated it it was amazing

Shelves: philosophy, philosophy-sartre

I am reading this book for the second time. The last time was while I was working on my M.A. in literature.

The first forty pages brought to mind an incident in my life when I went white water rafting on the Rouge River in Canada. It was springtime and the river was raging from melted snow. We reached a spot in the river known as the Draino. The river narrowed through high cliff walls. The leaders told the boats to pull to shore because it was too rough. My boat didn't make it, and all twelve of I am reading this book for the second time. The last time was while I was working on my M.A. in literature.

The first forty pages brought to mind an incident in my life when I went white water rafting on the Rouge River in Canada. It was springtime and the river was raging from melted snow. We reached a spot in the river known as the Draino. The river narrowed through high cliff walls. The leaders told the boats to pull to shore because it was too rough. My boat didn't make it, and all twelve of us tipped over into the water. The river tossed me through the rapids like a rag doll. I thought I was going to die. I realized later that was unlikely with my helmet and life jacket, but in the water I was sure I was going to die. I told myself not to scream but to face death with courage.

Then I made it through the Draino to a calm wider area of the river where kayakers were waiting to pick us up out of the water. I grabbed the rope on a kayak and the man rowed me to shore where I lay on the ground. While catching my breath, I stared at an ant crawling. I had never looked at an ant in such a way before. I studied it completely. I didn't want to get up. I told the rescuers I was just resting, but the truth was I was studying an ant. I can't explain clearly why I was studying that ant. It seemed like I had never quite appreciated such a simple thing as an ant before.

The next day, we all went up to the top of the cliffs to look down at the river. What an incredible sight. I saw the massive indifference of the universe on that day. That river raged before I was on it, and it would rage after I was gone, whether I died or not.

This may not be the same thing Roquentin feels when he holds the stone near the ocean. But perhaps it is similar.

On page 39, Roquentin says, "Nothing happens while you live." It has no beginnings or endings. "But everything changes when you tell about life." We try to tell "true stories. As if there could possibly be true stories." We try to tell these stories with beginnings and endings that do not exist. We try to capture time and order it, all of which is impossible.

On pages 98 to 103, Roquentin contemplates his existence. He looks at his hand like a crab on the table. He seems to sense a connection between his brain and his hand.

Thoughts and unfinished sentences and words jump into his head. That reminded me of the debate about whether or not we have free will in Sam Harris's The Moral Landscape.

Roquentin thinks he would be better off if only he could stop thinking. But his thinking seems to be what makes him exist, like the cogito. He wishes he could not exist. Unlike most people, he is aware of his existence. And that awareness only leads to the abyss of meaninglessness. It is too late for him to turn back. Perhaps the only solution is like that of the Self-Taught Man, who lives life AS IF it had meaning. Two days later, Roquentin will do a fly "the favour of squashing him."

I believe the Self-Taught Man is Sartre himself because he WAS a self-taught man. In The Words, Sartre's autobiography, he talks about books being his best friends. He was raised among books. With his lazy eye, he did not feel comfortable among other children.

Sartre was also a humanist and a socialist, like the Self-Taught Man. Roquentin speaks of no reason for existing (112). But the Self-Taught Man speaks of a book he has read which encourages "voluntary optimism." The goal is humanity. They are the direction our lives should take. Again, all of this is totally meaningless, but it is the meaning we add to life so that we can live it AS IF it had meaning. We must believe in men, not in God, whose existence is belied by science (114). He even goes to church just to be among the people who are there.

The idea of being "in the way" begins with the chestnut tree. Perhaps Roquentin is only in the way when he is alive and realizes his existence. With death comes a blending in, an ending of being in the way. But he does talk about being in the way for eternity (129). The trees themselves did not want to exist so they behave quietly to themselves (133).

The book ends with him unable to get over his existence. It can't be overcome. Except how? is what I don't know. ...more

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