Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship in Bookmarks Subscribers

Aug 28, 2010 Amy rated it it was ok

Shelves: memoir, read-in-2011, rec-ig-blogs-friends-other, _own-ebook, non-fiction, rec-botn

Although I was not taken with this book, I completely understand how someone might be. I didn't seem to connect with the story in the way that it appears others have. I would even go so far as to say that I had to push my way through the book. I didn't feel myself connecting with the material so I was having to force myself through it at times.

Ultimately, this memoir was just ok for me. I can't even say that it was good. Yet, it doesn't feel bad, per se. Just nothing special. Nothing that reall Although I was not taken with this book, I completely understand how someone might be. I didn't seem to connect with the story in the way that it appears others have. I would even go so far as to say that I had to push my way through the book. I didn't feel myself connecting with the material so I was having to force myself through it at times.

Ultimately, this memoir was just ok for me. I can't even say that it was good. Yet, it doesn't feel bad, per se. Just nothing special. Nothing that really will stick with me once I put the book down.

Everything about this book had potential to hit me in the gut but it just seemed to fall short for me. I didn't connect with either of the women or their relationship. Neither of them or their journeys really came alive for me. The reading experience made feel as if I was watching a so-so movie that was constantly failing to make me FEEL anything. I'm reading about this intense friendship and the loss experienced by the author and just not feeling it. I should have been crying. I should have been devastated, given the events. Yet, I just wasn't feeling it. Which is simply disappointing and really made the reading of the book not particularly affecting.

Although there were small moments that I loved in the book - mostly thoughts on loss which spoke to me. Things that I wrote down to think about again later. One that comes to mind readily is Gail Caldwell's statement that "I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures." Wow. That really spoke to me. If only more of the book had spoken to me like those few sentiments. All in all, the writing and the language chosen just didn't do it for me. I felt it didn't live up to the events themselves. The events described in this book are amazing ... the way that these two women came together in friendship and changed each others lives so incredibly. That is fantastic ... however, the telling of those events in this book just missed the mark for me. I'm sorry that I didn't love it as so many others have.

I recommend it if you want to read about an intense friendship, one that is pretty amazing. I recommend it if you've lost someone special to you as there are great things in this memoir about loss and grieving. The bottom line is that most people that I know who have read it really loved it. Perhaps you will as well ... ...more

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Jan 02, 2011 Lisa Hickman rated it really liked it

Shelves: library-books, bookmarks-2010, nook-book

Gail Caldwell has written a stunningly beautiful tribute to her friendship with Carolyn Knapp, author of Drinking: A Love Story. She recounts their time together, their shared love of dogs, the water, writing, and struggles with alcoholism. She illuminates the secret language of friends. So many times during the book, Caldwell caused me to pause over her simple, yet profound thoughts on grieving, friendship, and living:

"It's an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then sh

Gail Caldwell has written a stunningly beautiful tribute to her friendship with Carolyn Knapp, author of Drinking: A Love Story. She recounts their time together, their shared love of dogs, the water, writing, and struggles with alcoholism. She illuminates the secret language of friends. So many times during the book, Caldwell caused me to pause over her simple, yet profound thoughts on grieving, friendship, and living:

"It's an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too."

“It's taken me years to understand that dying doesn't end the story; it transforms it. Edits, rewrites, the blur and epiphany of one-way dialogue.”

“Like a starfish, the heart endures its amputation.”

“Death is a divorce nobody asked for; to live through it is to find a way to disengage from what you thought you couldn't stand to lose.”

“I would be the sensitive heroine, or doomed romantic, or radical bohemian – I was Hamlet, Icarus, Edith Wharton's Lily Bart. God forbid that I simply face who I was, which was somebody drunk and scared and on my way to being no one at all.”

“I have a photograph from one of those summers at Chocorua, framing the backs of my dog and Caroline’s, Clementine and Lucille, who are silhouetted in the window seat and looking outside. It is the classic dog photo, capturing vigilance and loyalty: two tails resting side by side, two animals glued to their post. What I didn’t realize for years is that in the middle distance of the picture, through the window and out to the fields beyond, you can make out the smallest of figures—an outline of Caroline and me walking down the hill. We must have been on our way to the lake, and the dogs, now familiar with our routine, had assumed their positions. Caroline’s boyfriend, Morelli, a photographer, had seen the beauty of the shot and grabbed his camera. I discovered this image the year after she died, and it has always seemed like a clue in a painting—a secret garden revealed only after it is gone . . . . Like most memories tinged with the final chapter, mine carry the weight of sadness. What they never tell you about grief is that missing someone is the simple part.”

"I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures.

Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship is at once a requiem and a romance. I will not forget the equal feelings of sadness and joy aroused by Caldwell's evocative prose. Friendship like this is rare. ...more

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Dec 15, 2011 Erika Nerdypants rated it really liked it

Shelves: memoir, read-2011, non-fiction, absolute-favourites, women-s-lit, grieving, relationships

This book really touched me on many levels. It is the story of friendship between Gail Caldwell and Caroline Knapp, one of my favourtie authors (I loved "Drinking" and "Why Women Want". Caldwell describes the intimate friendship that develops between the two women who are both soically akward and shy. I can so relate to that. It is often difficult for me to make the small talk that seems so necessary in our society, and yet I thrive on deep connection with others. The two women met because of th ...more

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Jan 07, 2011 Cathy rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, autobiography-memoir, e-book

From the opening remarks Gail Caldwell begins her account with a reflective quote of the story she shares with Caroline Knapp, her treasured friend. Sharing lives together with a strong common love for their dogs and other aspects of their existence in Cambridge, Massachusetts binds the lives of solitude that these two female writers share inexplicably one to another.

I felt privileged to have a window to this honest portrait of their shared journey and Caldwell's illuminating and bittersweet rem ...more

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Oct 11, 2010 Bookmarks Magazine rated it really liked it

Shelves: nov-dec-2010

Described as a "love letter of a memoir" (Christian Science Monitor), a "book-length elegy" (Cleveland Plain Dealer), and "a gorgeous and extended prayer of mourning" (Boston Globe), Caldwell's uplifting and devastating story drew multiple comparisons to grief's current gold standard--Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking (**** Selection Jan/Feb 2006). However, Caldwell doesn't dwell on her pain in agonizing detail. Instead, she luminously evokes the joys of friendship, deftly sidestepping ...more

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Nov 27, 2010 Laurie rated it really liked it

This book surprised me -- as a memoir of friendship, I was somewhat interested. I almost quit when it seemed that the emphasis was going to be on the drinking problems or on the dogs -- I don't think I'm insensitive, I just didn't think I was in the mood for "this type" of book. Yet, here I am logging it as "read" -- and on the same day I started it, which is unusual for me. Yes, the book was memoir of a friendship, a friendship born out of shared past demons and present angels -- and I found it This book surprised me -- as a memoir of friendship, I was somewhat interested. I almost quit when it seemed that the emphasis was going to be on the drinking problems or on the dogs -- I don't think I'm insensitive, I just didn't think I was in the mood for "this type" of book. Yet, here I am logging it as "read" -- and on the same day I started it, which is unusual for me. Yes, the book was memoir of a friendship, a friendship born out of shared past demons and present angels -- and I found it to be a sharing of experiences that drew me in even though much different from my own.

Key quotes:

**"My idea of a productive day, as both a child and an adult, was reading for hours and staring out the window." p. 21

**"What my dad could have differently, instead of bullying his way through my rebellion. 'I wish he'd just told me how much he loved me,' I answered her.'I wish he could have just said, 'you are precious to me; I won't let you put yourself in danger." p. 63
___This struck me as I realized how this is exactly what my Heavenly Father has always done -- we rebel in our various ways, and He remains faithful, saying "You are precious to me."

**"To people who have spent their lives thick with the bounty of other people, attachment itself is complex but assumed. For the introvert, it is a more nebulous territory. I was able to be effusive and warm in my human interactions because I knew when and how they would end: end of day, end of party, end of walk, end of relationship." p. 64
___This is so true -- though I'd never thought of it before -- but yes, if I know the interaction will end, I can more easily enter into it and engage -- I need to know it's temporary -- that I can withdraw back into myself, my introversion.

**"Edits, rewrites, the blur and epiphany of one-way dialogue. Most of us wander in and out of one another's lives until not death, but distance, does us part -- time and space and the heart's weariness are the blander executioners of human connection." p. 89

**"It came to me with cold comprehension that this was what it was to stare into nothing -- a universe in which everything was pointless except the hardwired instinct to survive and endure and then die." p. 105
___So tragic to believe this -- to have only this.

**"Memory was all that eternal life really meant." p. 117
___Again, so sad -- like grains of sand held in one's hands only to be slowly sifted and lost through one's fingers. Eternal life is so much more!

**"Like a starfish, the heart endures its amputation." p. 117

**"Old dogs can be a regal sight. Their exuberance settles over the years into a seasoned nobility, their routines become as locked into yours as the quietest and kindest of marriages." p. 127

**"Maybe this is the point: to embrace the core sadness of life without toppling headlong into it, or assuming it will define your days." p. 129

...more

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Aug 18, 2010 Lisa Roberts rated it liked it

A well told story of friendship and survival after one friend dies. I really like the writing of this book but didn't like the chronology of it. I know it was purposeful and others will like it, but it was a distraction for me. I thought I would like this one better than I did but still recommend it to many women. It would be a good book club book for discussion purposes. ...more

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