Kim’s Comments (group member since Sep 17, 2008)

Kim’s comments from the Runs with scissors group.

I lost my pet mouse Willow last night. She was 1 year and 2 months old. Wednesday night, I was over at Narzain's and she was playing ninja up and down the cage bars. We had her out for petings and she was her typical explorer self, climbing behind my neck and playing in my pony tail. She even stuck her nose in my ear (!) sniffing merrily.

On Thursday, roofers came to fix the big hole. We went to a movie and when we came home, we were sitting on the couch talking about a snack when Narzain exclaimed, "Willow!". For the first time in the entire time we had had her, she had escaped from the cage and was perched on my shoe. We don't know how long or how she got loose.

Last night, I was over again, and the apartment was very warm. Narzain had forgotten to put on the air conditioner. Willow did not come out for goldfish crackers, which are the gold standard treat. She did climb up to the upper level and that's when we knew something was wrong. We took her out and tried to give her water with a dropper, but I think she was too ill to take it. In retrospect, she has been thinner these last few weeks, which we put to shedding winter weight. I held her in my hand, and stroked her, telling her how much I loved her and what a good girl she is. Willow passed, in my hand a little past 11:15 p.m.

Yumi, the remaining mouse, will be on her own since she has demonstrated that she does not do well with new mice.

Willow will be missed.

Yes, you may suggest that. That is a good one. I will take suggestion for the next 2 weeks and then we will put it to a vote to keep it equal.

O.K. gang, July is approaching and again I am seeking group reading ideas. I am open to suggestions. I think I would like to mix it up and suggest our next read be a play. Not a book turned into a play, but the play itself. My suggestion: "Inherit the Wind".

I GOT MY SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am trying to hold on to hope, but it is not easy. I have and am keeping in mind that due to the program that they have been inudated with applications. In the midst of all of this, I made 4 doz. peanutbutter cookies for the staff yesterday to celebrate one of life guards birthdays and one of the trainers birthdays, both of which are this weekend. Sunday, I am making Cookie Dough Cupcakes for one of the desk clerks whose birthday is next Wednesday. Carlton, the clerk in question, said that if I don't get a scholarship, he and the staff will have to chip in to keep me at the Y since I am "such a sweetheart".

I will hopefully find out more today....

I figure by now, most of you are tired of hearing from me and about my exercise journey. If so, then you all may not have much longer to put up with me and this post. I still have not heard anything regarding my scholarship application, and I have a sinking feeling that it was not even looked at(even though I asked what they would need instead of the requested information since I don't have a W-2 since I am not working) and provided that information instead. I submitted it in time for the monthly deadline, and June 30 is runnning up on us soon.


With out the scholarship, my journey will end. Maybe that is the best thing for me. While I have been able to be proud of myself, I have begun to think that this maybe the best for me, to walk away, say I tried, and just go off and be quiet. I am used to not getting what I want. It goes with the plus-sized territory I have lived in all of my life. When you are a larger person, you get used to not being able to do or have many things.

I do not think I have lost much, if any weight, since there are no scales that can accomodate me nearby. Physically, I feel no different. Emotionaly and mentaly, I have improved. I want to stay. I actually look forward to exercise for crying out loud! That's a first. I have decided that if I get to stay, I am going to swim 1 mile by the end of the year.....but I may have to give that up.

I want to stay...but what I want and what I am prepared to have happen are 2 vastly different things.

This may be one of my last posts on this subject. I hope it's not and that I can continue to have your support and hopefully keep inspiring those who need it. Please keep my scholarship in your prayers. Who knows, you might help make a miracle.

You and I were talking about this book over the weekend and you mentioned that now you get all of those Bugs Bunny cartoon references, and that some of them in retrospect, were in bad taste. Did anyone else make this corolation?

For me, the relationship between the two was so sweet. George really cared for Lennie, and doing what he did proves he really loved Lennie on a deeper level than maybe he was willing to admit. His killing of Lennie was the most humane thing that could be done. Lennie stood out too much and would have been noticed if they had run. Curly would have tortured the daylights out of Lennie long before he would have killed him, because of the percived humiliation he had suffered in his one-sided fight with Lennie.

I think Curly epitomizes the part of every male that has a mate that they feel is a prize, or above them in station/looks (real or imagined). They see these mates as a mark of their status, yet worry all the time that their mate will leave them. Curly wanted a beautiful woman as a mate, but knew that she would never be happy. She, on the other hand, knew how to push Curly's buttons, and I think she did it on purpose to make herself feel more important, attractive, etc.

Lennie paid the price for their sick relationship games.

O.K., I have a gripe that has been bothering me for a while and it is not going away. I have been noticing a trend at sit down chain restaurants that seems to be seeping in to all restaurants. Before your a** hits the seat, you are asked what you would like to drink. You have had no time to even put your things down, or even open the menu to see your choices, and the server, whom you will NOT be able to find later when you need them, is acting like you have the launch codes or something. What happened to allowing you a few moments to look at the menu before pouncing?

Then, if you tell them you need a moment, they come back like every 10 seconds waiting for your decision like the fate of the free world depends on your choice of Pepsi or Diet Pepsi! (Again, this is the same person who will dissapear when you really need them!)

My other gripe comes at the end of the meal. I really loathe it when your bill is brought with your meal, basicaly signaling me to "hurry up and eat, so we can clear the table for new people" and then having the server ask if I want dessert. Not now I don't! You have just made me feel un-welcome so why should I stay? (I have also had problems with ordering desert after a bill has come and they tack it onto the previous total instead of re-configuring the entire bill, making totals VERY wrong, in the restaurants favorof course. Yes, I have complained and it was fixed, very grudginly.)

I know, some would say that I should tell my server to bring the bill when I ask for it, but why should I have to tell them that when they used to do that? If servers rely on tips to add to their minimum wage salary, wouldn't you think that they would want you to linger over dessert since that will make the bill larger?

I know that tips are apprecitated, but they are NOT required. This corporate bums rush only makes me not want to spend my money at your establishment, and this economy, I don't think they can truly afford to offend customers.

So, could somebody please explain to me how this practise got started and how we can end it? I am getting fed up, and not in a good way.

I cried so hard. I had forgotten that part.

Belive me, I am gratefull to have friends. Friends are the family you choose.

How perfect!

I swam 1/2 mile yesterday since I will not be able to swim tomorrow. On Tuesday I did what weight machines I can and today I plan on the same.

I guess my trouble is in remembering something positive. Like with anything else, you remember things that are traumatic or things that were so all encompasing that you can't forget it. I am working on forgiving him and myself for everything. I have been working on it for several years now, and I know it will take time. Things that I thought I had dealt with got stirred up with recent events.

I wish all of us peace of heart and mind.

I re-read this book on Saturday and I was still enamored with it just like in high school. Steinbeck was born in California and wrote about what he saw, the migrant workers, the ranchers, people trying to live during the depression. This story was written to like a play. Each part seen as a scene or as a whole. It is a very different approach than what he had done in his other books.

Steinbeck had a mark of a flying pig that was his personal mark to all corespondence and manuscripts. Gives a whole new meaning to when pigs fly....

I loved this book as a teen and have re-read it since. I forgot very little of the images Steinbeck creates with George and Lennie. I will leave off for now so the rest of you can catch up and I won't spoil anything.

I did a 1/2 mile yesterday and 2 extra laps to make up for not being able to finish my 1/4 mile on Wed.

I love the movie. Some acting group is going to re-create the courtroom scene.

I lost my dad suddenly on New Year's Eve, 2001 to a massive heart attack. This Sunday, June 7, would have been my dad's 69th birthday. In one of the other groups I'm in, one of the moderators lost her dad this week. She posted a lovely tribute to him, and I wish I could to the same for mine. I have trouble remembering anything positive about my dad because I lived in fear of him all of my life. He was the one who my mom threatened me with, and when he lost it, he lost it big time. Now, this was the late 70's early 80's and it was called raising you child. By todays standards it would be considered mental,emotional and physical abuse. I did not get a beating every day or anything like that, but I did live in fear of my dad carrying out his many threats, and just a enough were carried out to make me take pause.

I grew up believing that I was at fault for everything bad that happened because I was told that it was my fault that my dad had lost his temper and wouldn't have been punished like that. (Spanking by belt was the most popular). To my tiny mind, that lead me to believe that EVERYTHING that happened to me was my fault and somehow deserved. (Anyone who knows me off screen will tell you I am still struggling with the idea that that is NOT true.)

I know that there were times of peace in my house, that there were times of happiness. Family vacations, trips to the zoo, museums (I was a strange child who ASKED to go to museusms), walks in the Metro Parks, etc. I know that somewhere in all that he loved me, he just didn't know how to show it well.

I have realized in the last 8 1/2 years that my dad raised me the best way he knew how, and that this is how he had been raised. I am still trying to reconcile that with the fear I am trying to let go of, even now. I know that a life-time of this is not going to go anywhere quickly. Like the weight I have gained did not happen overnight and will take time to go away, so does this.

I would like to be able to post a loving tribute to my dad, but for rigth now, I guess I'll have to settle for this post, where I am not pithy, or insightful, but just getting something off my chest.

Sorry to be a downer.

You are very insightful. Keep it up missy and you might not lose you brain privileges!

I just wanted to mention that 2010 is the 50th anniversary of this remarkable book.