Ashlee’s Comments (group member since Apr 29, 2018)

Ashlee’s comments from the What is Life without Books group.

Samantha wrote: "I haven't had a chance to read this book. But I also suffer from the same gad and also severe depression. So I totally understand. And I have gotten anxiety from reading before but I am still able ..."

I am on page 60 now and it's gotten a little easier but, at times I do have to put it down. I totally get everything your saying :( I would recommend this book. Depending on your own anxiety and what triggers you it may have the same effect as it does me or you may be able to read it in a breeze. I typically try to stay in fantasy books because as you stated, it is a great way to escape the reality that is my thoughts and it's my safe haven as I'm sure it is yours and many others.

Aly wrote: "In my experience, there are many people in this world who are uneducated and/or just don't understand. I believe some want to understand and others just don't. I work in the healthcare field full t..."

That must be a really hard job. I feel like not even those of us with diagnosis fully understand ourselves. I respect John Greene for writing this book and now that I am getting through a few more chapters (I'm on page 60 now) I find myself really connecting with Aza and if it gets to be too much I just put it down and take a break. At the same time though I find myself being just like Aza because in the book she talks about how she's worried her callus is infected but she knows it's not and that it's fine but her mind keeps saying "but what if" over and over again until she's driven mad and has to go check it and "disinfect" a wound that isn't even infected. I get this 100% even though I'm not obsessed with infections and disease like Aza seems to be, I am obsessed with how I might die. I was scared to drive home last night because I kept thinking about how I could get in a car accident even though I knew I have full control over that and my fear was irrational. My constant thought of getting in a car accident made me drive super carefully even though I knew I'd be fine, my mind was making me believe if I didn't take extra caution that I would get in an accident. While I had those thoughts I also had thoughts of how my friend must be mad at me or have his feelings hurt because I left and that i'm a bad friend. Even though we went to the movies, spent all afternoon together, and it was almost 10:00pm so there was no reason for him to be mad or be hurt that i left but I still kept thinking he was even though I knew this was irrational. Aza goes through a lot of these same thought processes just about different things so I really see a lot of me in her. For that, I want to keep reading and stay by her side.

Patricia I am so sorry 😔 you don't deserve any of that. Nobody does. you seem like a very strong woman who has her wits about her.

I thought about buddy reading but I'm not sure how long it will take me to finish the book if I even do. I appreciate the offer though

i generally try not to let anyone get to me. I try to remind myself that they're uneducated and don't know any better.

that is horrible 😔 I'm sorry you have to go through all of that. I find it heart wrenching that your Drs basically did nothing for you.

I was mislead by a lot of people saying this book has helped people with an anxiety disorder relate to the character and helps them feel like they aren't the only ones but with me all it's doing is making me want to put it down. I intend on reading it but it's just going to take a while to finish.

I hope more people read it though as there is such a bad stigma on anxiety with people saying it's all in our heads or we're just over reacting.. no it's not and no we arent. I don't think people realize how hard it is to live inside your own head when you have chronic anxiety. We know perfectly well that we are being irrational and half the time don't even know why we are anxious we just are. It's real to us though and it's important that books like this that are so real get around and bring awareness to mental illness because, it can help family and friends recognize signs and even triggers and maybe have some insight to what it's really like to live with this.

I apologize if this is in the wrong folder. I figured i'd put it here because it has to do with who I am and how certain books affect my GAD.

Okay now onto what I want to discuss.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and for those who don't understand what that is here is a link

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiet...

I recently picked up Turtles All The Way Down by John Greene. I'm not a fan of JG however, when I heard this book was centered around a girl (Aza) who has an anxiety disorder, I no longer cared that I don't care for JG books nor did I care what this book was about, I just wanted to get my hands on it because finally someone wrote a book with a main character who is legit struggling with anxiety. Then I heard JG has OCD/Anxiety and I thought you know what this guy probably made a very realistic character with very realistic triggers/settings in this book. My was I right.

I cannot read past the first chapter though.

Why?

It's triggering my own anxiety to spike.

The cafeteria scene made me feel like my chest was closing up while reading it because, I was imagining that I was there with Aza in that very crowded, very loud cafeteria. I wanted to hug her and tell her I know what she's feeling because I feel it too. I often zone out into my loop of thoughts (literally a loop because my thoughts repeat, and repeat, and repeat the same.darn.thing. all.day.long.) this causes me to not pay attention to what people are talking to me about yet I'm paying too much attention to my surroundings, how loud it is, and how many people are around and if they're looking at me because, if they're looking at me then they must be talking about me.

Do you see why this book is already triggering my own anxiety?? How do I read this book and actually get through it when I can't even make it through chapter 1? Did anyone else have this issue? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Hey everyone :) It's been a few days but, I haven't had much of a change in my day to day life. I finished another book and will be starting a new one tomorrow :)

@Samantha I know how you feel. I myself have GAD/Panic disorder and have had severe depression as a teenager due to bullying. I think it sounds like you are on the right track to recovery or at least managing it because, obviously anxiety disorders don't ever really go away but we can manage them so they are no longer debilitating. If you ever need to talk feel free message me :) *hugs*

Let's see, I am working full time and am in the process of saving for an apartment which I hope to move into in October/early November. I am going for an interview today at Panera Bread for a weekend evening job. Other than that I've just been playing sims 3, reading, and spending time with my dog Oh and eating. I also eat a lot which is due to my metabolism spiking because I've started running and I have an active job. I also made a tumblr lol

I'm still reading Marilyn's book lol. I've been playing sims 3 most of the afternoons after work. XD

AshleyA (MamaNeedsBooks) wrote: "Had to put on the shelf for a while. Just couldn't get into it. Now I am reading "

I couldn't get into Passenger either at first :( I ended up reading it earlier this year or late last year. (Don't remember) and, I will not be reading the second one. I finished it the second time around but, it just did not grip me the way I like for books to do.

As for me, I'm reading I have read this book several times in my teen years but, I have been a fan of Manson since I was 14 years old and now at 26 I still love him. I haven't read his book in a few years so I'm excited to read it again with an adult mind and perspective now though so I feel like i'll understand more of the content than I did when I read it at 15 years old.

Deborah wrote: "Ashlee wrote: "Deborah wrote: "I love motorcycle riding in the spring and summer. The fragrances are amazing! Other than that, I love gardening and photography. I live on Cape Cod with my husband o..."

haha I would definitely have to close my eyes if I ever got on a bike lol. Roses are beautiful to grow!! I would honestly like to grow my own strawberries, banana, and lettuce. I'd also love my own apple tree. Those are the ones I typically spend the most on at the grocery store.

Deborah wrote: "I love motorcycle riding in the spring and summer. The fragrances are amazing! Other than that, I love gardening and photography. I live on Cape Cod with my husband of 25 years and my two adult chi..."

I would never ride a motorcycle. I'm too big of a chicken but, I do love photography and I've always wanted to garden. I may get into it this summer and grow my own produce.

Megan wrote: "Ashlee wrote: "Megan wrote: "sims 3 was the best but i cant deal with the graphics anymore"

I don't think the graphics are too bad. I'm just so busy working/reading/watching starz and hanging out ..."

Yes I do :) I just started uploading again. Below is a link to my studio.

https://www.thesims3.com/userExchange...

I don't have much up. The items I do have up are a bit old but, I am in the process of building in an empty world so I'll be adding more builds + sims throughout the summer.

Megan wrote: "sims 3 was the best but i cant deal with the graphics anymore"

I don't think the graphics are too bad. I'm just so busy working/reading/watching starz and hanging out with my dog that I don't have spare time to squeeze in the game but, when I do play I mostly build.

Who here is a Marilyn Manson fan?

Besides reading, I love reading and playing sims 3 haha!

Currently reading and so far I LOVE Jo! I can't wait to review this one on my blog.

On a side note, am I the only one who doesn't really pay attention to buying the same author? I buy all of Sarah J Maas's books and Susan Collins if she ever comes out with anything else but, typically I don't pay attention to buying books by the same author, I just buy what I think looks good.

Currently I am reading the Outsiders while eagerly waiting for tomorrow because, my friend and I are going to the book store and I'll finally have a new TBR pile

I read every day. Even if it's only a few pages, I still read every day. Though right now my current read is a boring thing that I can't get into but want to because I've been wanting to read it for so long and it is just complete disappointment.

I just finished Outlander and now I'm moving onto Falling Kingdoms :)

Took a break from reading & watching Outlander to go to the gym. I weighed myself today too and I went from 128lbs to 123lbs <3 <3 #proud #fit

I generally look at the cover then I'll read the back (or inside) and, if it's something I think I'll like then I'll buy it. The other way I'll chose a book is browsing books on here. Mostly though it's all about the cover unless I hear someone talking about it.