Paula’s Comments (group member since Oct 28, 2015)

Paula’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Congratulations, J.F. It sounded last year like a terrific workshop--great you'll be doing it again this year!

Brilliant work, Thaddeus. A seriously fine piece of writing.

Nice pacing and humor. Could use perhaps a bit deeper/more-felt characterization of one of the main characters, but the humor and a sense of this world/society works may be enough. Strengthen/sharpen the final sentence.

Excellent, Greg. Extremely well imagined, well done.

Really like your critiquing protocol, J.F.! This way, the writer can know to what extent a critiquer has understood the story, and in what ways.
Good stories this month, everyone.
And wishing a wonderful Christmastime to those here who celebrate--and indeed to everyone!

Interesting, very well done story, J.F.! Glad you wrote it.

I'm surprised that/if there's no rural electric co-op out there, Justin! When I lived out in a rural county in Oregon a few years ago, the rural electrip co-op was just phenomally good--and faast--at keeping the grid running even after big storms/snowstorms! --In any case, I am very impressed that you could, and knew how to, establish your new power system by "[finally getting] a 50 amp outlet put on the side of my house and wired into my power panel" so that [n]ow when it goes dark I turn everything off on my panel, flip to the new outlet, plug in my generator, then power my panel back up." Not a trivial achievement.

Interesting piece, Greg. Congratulations!

Delighted for you both, Jot! Best wishes!

My condolences to you, Justin. Glad that at least you and he were able to have that last visit in June. May he be long remembered.

These sound like good points, J.F. Thanks for sharing this--
J.F. wrote: "I picked up some critiquing ideas at my writing workshop:

Can you tell what the main character wants? Is that clear?
What works in the story? Good lines, vivid imagery, etc. but be specific.
Wha..."

Good ideas. And perhaps to critique an additional story that same month. This hopefully would quickly increase the proportion of stories getting feedback.

How many more days for discussion/objections/comments on this? What has been the usual time for these?

Sweet story, Jeremy. I think it could use a bit of tightening or trimming in the early part, and lengthening, possibly quite long, into something with new and wonderful nano-brains-community/ies events/enviros/etc., even to novella length.
Looking forward to reading more of this, should you choose to do this And, if not--wow, I love this story.

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First-rate work, Jeremy--excellent!

Tom, le paradox est enormement charmant; je l'aime bien! Exceptionel!
Greg, lively and well-written story!

Re participation the past couple of months, 1. don't minimize the factor of contingencies, such as people's busy-ness, schedule issues, illnesses/injuries (my hand, e.g., not up to more than one post anywhere per day, or so, since this injury 5 weeks ago, and probably for a few weeks more); 2. there may be too much similarity in the tastes/aesthetics of the majority of the group's regulars, so that those of other tastes likely tend to wander off---I'm not sure bringing in more participants, unless enough to better balance out/widen the aesthetic range, will solve this, but it might; 3. joining another/ongoing group would need to challenge this group's authors if the move is to be of any use (and also would the move also benefit the other group too?); 4.--important--whether this group dissolves, enters a merger-group, or continues as is, it needs not to just dissolve but, first, to put out some final publication---either an all-the group's authors (since 2012) anthology, OR a "Since 2015" (or whenever it was when TFIS 4 came out and when, soon after, this group changed so much). Either way, the anthology needs a dedication to those members who have passed on, especially those, like Carrol and Andrew, who gave so very, very much to the group's development.
Anyhow, there's my 2 cents. After which I must tend to the hand.
Oh, and congratulations to the June winners, both of you!

Oh, thank YOU, Justin. And, belatedly, Happy Birthday to you!

Interdit a fumer, les forets!

Good work, Justin. Congratulations!