Paula’s Comments (group member since Oct 28, 2015)

Paula’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Sharon, I'm sending my 3 and bio tonight and/or tomorrow. I hope JJ doesn't mind doing its (US-styled, I guess) copyedit. :)

Thank you, Justin.
And I agree with Heather's characterization, here, of the group as a wide and variegated beach and pool, all open to you to explore and try and learn in from the rest.
Also, quite frankly the stories so far in this month's batch are, on the whole, probably the most powerful, moving, and/or well written we've had in quite some time--maybe in any of the contests. The thing is to joy in this, for the stories and for one another, rather than to judge or focus only on one's own tale, let alone in "ranking" the stories against each other. There are at least four this month entirely pro by most any publication standards. (imho)
Welcome, Justin!

You know, Robin DeLow
Copyright 2016 Paula Friedman

I suppose the selection of white for our pods was for purity—an obvious, if wrong, explication for what slaps us as farce.

You know why I say this, Robin DeLow? You know what we smell like, each of us locked here in our HealthBuds. Yes, how sublime—in theory. Of course we gladly extend our time! Forever and ever, yes. Oh yes, Robin DeLow. But why are you here?

You come in the morning. Early morning, it is snowing out, a shimmer of sunlight behind thinning clouds, and in through doors from your temperate world, shivery and creepy from the parking lot below our window enter swift slim nurses, male or female moving with their silver-shiny scents and song of youth, rollicking into our less-than-sterile chamber, stalking between our buds (our “pods,” if you prefer), their smiles that polish, hands that tap and pat. “So good to see you looking chipper this fine morning, Mrs. G.!” my day’s nurse, Lilliane, smiles. I trade the half-smile of reply; her glittery face implants a chipper kiss on mine.

Oh I’d watch her walk away—oh, please.

But of course I can’t. And behind us in Bud Haven, noise machines of cartoon films of battering children squeal and animations squawk, overly made-up actors hack recurrent lines; the metal buzz runs under the peed floor and flows up our bedposts. Here I’d hide my head away from all of that, but can’t. Of course I can’t.

There are clocks here, DeLow, did you know? One large one, slippery, drips above the ward-door. “Mine” by my pod’s lock is small; what were you fearing? That I’d make it stop? No, it is white. The lock’s outside the pod door; that was clever of you. “In the extra decades offered by our NewExtenders, sometimes persons seek”—seek what, exactly, Robin DeLow?

Within the pod, all is white. We are each in separate pods, like snow—snow for clean, white for pure. We stink. An odor of refrigerator mold; of course we stink, and there’s no outside, there is no way to outside anymore.

Except sometimes we find a way “outside”—in No-Time. Not like when the nurse says “Outside—onto the sunny walk we go! Tra-la, a wonderful outing now! Oh Mrs. G, aren’t we the lucky ones!” and moves my pod. Or when lights overhead are closed, and clouded to all outside is the glass, the windows gone to white. No, that’s not how I make (I don’t tell anyone) time stop.

Not how, at all. But there is a way. Or time just stops, I don’t know which. I lie here, two-three-hundred years of yours, and hear them move, the nurses stride all wiggly. My eyes watch you, Robin DeLow, with your pursing smile that speaks alone with “colleagues,” see you stand, right now, a single hand’s-breadth of the glass abruptly clearing, hear you tell an exo-surgeon, “Well perhaps they’ll take some lingering pride to feel at least they’re of some use . . .” and something-something and “they will be glad their body’s no more rotting,” and “much cleaner quicker, out in space” and “one fast bang when pressure drops” and “end to suffering.”

My time stops. You know I stop my time when needed, don’t you, Dr. DeLow? Still the buzz-machine thuds and the stench stinks, meat unemptied in the garbage, but only as must all—in a far continuum. No longer can they throb inside my pod, here with me, anymore. I am but white and light, Dr. D., the sunlight of a hundred mornings and no chipper nurse-kiss on my cheeks. I’m free of you. We’re all—

Oh no, somebody poked a glass-slide in, said “This one too, send this one.” Me, not the slide, she means. “To vacuum.” A short finger pokes, pricks, goes away.

I mean to say, we’re all free. Time too, time, which stops. Despite the “insults of the flesh”—and yours, DeLow. And when I stop it, guess what? Stops you too. Oh yes indeed, we still can joy, run outside of time.

(703 words)

Wow, well you're on a roll, Jack.
And I keep hearing 'She's like a rainboww".
Ah well, and Jeremy, those Belarus ancestors indeed.

Yep, John.

John, the anthology is an annual the group puts out of author-selected stories from the monthly competition. Each author who has contributed stories during the anthology year (for the current anthology, this would be during 2015) may choose up to 3 of her/his microstories, plus the winners of each month's contest is included. The anthology is then published in print and e-book formats. The authors cooperatively edit, proofread, and arrange the stories into a coherent book manuscript, and assure that it goes to the publisher and for copyrighting timely.
This year Sharon is coordinating the project, I (as lead editor) and two others are doing the editing (basically, very light copyediting and arranging of the manuscripts), and a couple of persons have offered to do the proofreading. Carrie and others are the lead p.r. people. But there is plenty of room for others to take on roles. Have you done proofreading or copyeding, for instance?

Ah well, Andy, it is possible that, even in the vaunted USA, a coherent socialist or social democratic program may have more following than a coherent or even incoherent quasi/nasi-populist one--let alone neolib/con ones.

Brilliant story, JJ--I love it.
And 14 rabbits as well to everyone else's stories this month, so far anyhow.
Richard, I've seen you write very subtly sometimes--no saying otherwise!
Justin, welcome to you.

In general, people, as Sharon notes, thinking how you would feel if someone took a piece/phrase/etc. from your story can begin to give a sense of whether doing so is "fair usage" or not. More detailed or uncertain issues re copyrights with regard to other authors' ideas/tales and when it might be okay to use these gleaned from others' works are maybe best answered by the US Copyrights Office, which has an excellent website and addresses many questions of this sort, rather than by the editor/director/etc. of the anthology, none of whom are (as far as I know) attorneys. There is a general concept, btw, that writings/text/stories can be copyrighted, but ideas cannot.

I want to thank you, Marianne, Heather, Andy, Carrie, others who commented on my story this month.
To Carrie's and Andy's questions, think of a world where--much as "speak[say], [']friend['], and enter" opens the Moria Gate--or ftm much like the "=" function in programming--standing in a crossing of trails and saying something is "true" or "the truth" makes it happen, as does intensely (and audibly) wishing it be true; and this needn't be said in words--a sincere squawk, for example, makes the something come truthy.
So yes, Carrie, the human child can become very big or very little, a crunchy tasty chicken, dinner on the plate, whatever. If in the cross-trail one says or audibly wishes it true very sincerely.
Just exactly like the world of young children, especially when they spar.
Not sure how I'd have made this clearer within the wordcount, as the whole bickering/bantering/attacking between the girls and their "bothers" took over, wanting no cuts, with its flow.
Andy, doubtless you could make your story better--that is nearly always true of stories--but it is awfully good already.
I agree that Marianne's story is amazingly written, as were Jeremy's, Dorthe's, Sharon's, Carrie's, . . .just about everyone's, this month.

Should we perhaps do an extra day for first-round voting when the last day of first-round voting is a major holiday (religious or secular) for any group member?
Note we have people here of Christian, Jewish, and--I'm pretty sure--one or two other religious/ethnic backgrounds, and from at least 5 nationalities; if we allow up to three religious/ethnic and two national holidays per subgroup, this will be mildly complex but quite do-able, with advance notice to Jot and the group as a whole.

Nice story, Dorthe. And very good to have you back. And congratulations to you!
And to Jeremy, congratulations too!

No problemo, Jot! :)

Since we don't have, to my recollection, a Paul in this group, I'm wondering if that is a typo here for my name. If so, please note that I already voted for Jeremy's story.

Great edits and guidelines and rules, Sharon. Questions re the file names for the stories: (1) for persons submitting more than one story, shouldn't there be a -1, -2, -3, or etc. after the author's name? (2) is a colon allowed (by Word and other programs) in a subect line? (I've a feeling it may not be.) (3) What sort of dash do you want between element (title, last name) in the subject line and file name? (I'd suggest a double hyphen, like so: -- to avoid confusion/ambiguity, and in case em and en dashes aren't allowed by word in file names). Finally, (4) since some titles are very long, how many words max for the subject line and file name? (Could use, say, first 3 words of title plus author's last name.)

I think that was for one of Lillicat's own anthologies, Heather--nothing to do with the requirements for this microstories one.

I agree, Sharon and Carrol--this'd be great for just under the titles. And in promotional materials, yes. Nice idea!

Sounds very good, Sharon. Where was Carrol--and where are you--thinking these very short teasers could be used? Back cover on the printed book (for a few good-sounding ones)? Above/after title for each story? Table of contents? Book sheet for p.r. mailings/e-mailings? Some (best-sounding) in a media release or email/letter to media re the book? And/or--??

Thaddeus, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you.
And yes, glad you are back!. Obviously, the styles of writing liked by the group are affected by who is in, leaves, or joins it.
Good projects you have going--I do envy you the ComicCon. Comic art is great.

Thanks, Dean. That has been the intent of allowing slight changes, for both the previous volumes--not sure who suggested changing it.