Paula’s Comments (group member since Oct 28, 2015)

Paula’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

[spoiler alert]--persons other than the story's author should wait to read this comment until after month's voting is over.
Chris--this story is vivid, well-paced, grabby . . . right up until near the end. When she jabs that knife into the antagonist, it is--even though that very short, very swift and final action does, in itself, grab the reader very well--too easy, too pat, too lacking in a sense of having to overcome opposition. That opposition, of course, need not be a physical opposing action by, for instance, the father, but could be, for instance, her own mixed loyalties or love, or fears, or . . .---and, whatever it is, needs a couple of hints, earlier on, so it's foreshadowed just a tiny bit and thus satisfies the reader's sense of suspense and form. That is, put some details and use some foreshadowing and perhaps a bit of the characterization so that the reader feels the sudden action as real, and so it seems to have to overcome some inner obstacle, and perhaps so it seems to come from what she feels, what she's like.

It's not clear to me what could even work as a vote on stories' quality for the anthology, given that the make-up (and thus story judgments) of the group, these past 5-6 years or so has been so very different (and so much more homogenous in styles/tastes) than the group's make-up through its first five-six years.
Oh yes! Honest feedback would be a really good way to handle "quality" issues, Greg! Good idea.

Jeremy wrote: "I'm not sure about SF print. The releavant online sites I'm most familiar with are Amazing Stories and File770 - I'm sure both will happily post an article, rather than an ad.

The dedicated story ..."
Proceeds to charity's a great idea. Of course, we'd all have to agree on a charity/charities, lol.

Here is a link to Andy Gurcak's obituary. He died on October 2, 2020.
https://obituaries.post-gazette.com/o...

Jeremy, you mention Amazing as an sf journal that would be a good advertising venue; are there others? Jot, Justin, Thaddeus, others, what others might be good ones? Jot, I've only worked once with FB for book advertising; it was so-so; have you had good experience with it for this? (Alumnae/alumni mags work well but are WAY too expensive!)

Thank you, Jot, I appreciate your respect for my and others' viewpoints.
I fear my post may have been unclear. My main concern there is *not* with [my "point (2)"] avoiding hurting feelings--*either* re our feedback to one another about stories during the contests *or* re (a somewhat different issue) decisions that might affect the quality of the anniversary volume. See my points (1) and (3) re criteria [(1) "We can control stories quality ... by letting authors select N of their own stories, subject to courteous nudging ... or to veto by [significantly large majority]", (2) "quality selection only works when ... general agreement on editorial/quality criteria and [on] the [judgs as especially] qualified"]. OTOH, I do understand your sense that we need an "out" method if someone wants to include a story that is terribly written or . . . horrifically unacceptable in some other way (and agreed, it's unlikely to happen)! (OTOOH [on the other other hand], having a "private vote" to knock out a story could--would--lead to a sense of "decisions by private cliques", so best such votes be out in the open! imao).
Sorry to bring up negatives/issues.

--Sorry, I wasn't trying to impose there--just thought there was some sense among those (too few, perhaps) discussing this that a variant of TFIS was what folks wanted for a title.
---Great--wonderful, Jot, that you still have the original contract copies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---Jeremy--yes, Andrew Gurcak. He did so much for the group. I shall contact E.J. (Elizabeth) and Andy Lake to see if either knows how to reach his family members, but this may take some researching.
---Choosing stories---Respectfully, I do think we do best to use the same number of stories for each author. Reasons are:
* (1) We can control stories quality just as well by letting authors select 3 (or other constant C depending on size of the book) of their own stories, subject to courteous nudging (as in "Umm, you *really* want to include that piece rather than your . . . ?") or to veto by large majority vote (as in "OMG! You don't plan to put that piece of junk in our anthology, do you!!") ;
* (2) Otherwise, we get into the sort of problems of hurt feelings, of people dropping out, etc. as happened with the 2nd TFIS anthology--with, just as happened then, no increase in overall stories quality;
* (3) That sort of quality selection only works when there is general agreement on editorial/quality criteria and when all agree the person or persons making such selections is more particularly qualified than the others.
----Jot, yes, agreed, definitely public/private printing/circulation needs more discussion. . . .
---Jot, you have email addresses for most of the previous/early members of the group? Do you want us to each contact those we're in touch with, or will you be contacting everyone you can (and letting us know whom you can't/who still needs contacting)--? (I'm in touch online with a few of the "old members.") (Does anyone know how, at this point, to contact Carrol Fix? Also Carol Shetler--? Each did so much for the group, need to be contacted.)

So, trying to string together suggestions, comments, plans so far--from this and the "10th anniversary" thread so far--
---Anthology/book name: TBD but likely will include some variation on "The Future Is Short"
---Up word limit to 1000 words/story
---Each writer will get their works for the book professionally copyedited and proofread [2 questions, people: (1) should proofread pieces follow US style, UK/int'l style, or be author's choice as long as consistent with a story? (2) will someone(s) with proofreading/copyediting experience will go over the proofed stories for a final check?] [or is this what "writers, by a majority, will reject [or accept] in its [copedited/proofed] form"?]
---I'll be happy to help with getting the mss into final form . . . IFF everyone has had their the mss seriously copyedited and proofread.
---Suggestion that each person select 3 of their own favorites of their own contest stories PLUS 3 of others of the group's stories for the book. (This comes to a maximum of 6000 words times number of book's participants, but we know some persons will not wish to include this many works or will choose shorter works.)
---Jot, with others if others volunteer, will collect and format the pieces into a printable and e-formatted book.
---Some of us will need to contact participants from earlier years and try to get their--or, if they have died, their survivors'/estates'--approval or permission to include up to 3 of their stories (that were submitted in thoss earlier years) in the book.
---A question: will this be a private/limited printing, or will the book be publicly distributed (or even sold)? If the latter, someone will have to get it copyrighted (US Copyrights Office now has an online portal).
---Also, to protect the compiler/s and the group as a whole, we each should sign a permissions form, as we did for the TFIS volumes. Will you ask for a volunteer to handle this, Jot, or---?

I'm curious--remembering the first two contests of the group were the November and December (or was it October and November?) 2012 ones, so the 10th year anniversary 2 months from now (late August/early September, or so) is when you first organized and posted notices on LinkedIn announcing the group/competition, Jot--? That was such a wonderful thing to do, and a daring step. You will have to put a paragraph or 2 (at least) about how that was like, what that felt like, too.

Yes, definitely to include a memorial.
And let's let people select, say, the 3 of their stories they consider best of those they've published here. And each to name--or pick, if the book is large enough--3 stories by others that they consider the best published here.
And a gratefulness section where we can thank those of the group for help they've given to oneself or to the whole group.

Just sent in my vote. Sorry not to have sent it sooner; between prepping for the heat wave and getting copies of my new book to the p.o. (Of Elegant Time: 22 Stories), I got swamped with stuff to do.

Yeah, so what then?
Copyright 2022 by Paula Friedman

Well yeah, so that was back there, that was back then, and so yeah what the F, man?

Except, clearly N wasn’t a man. Crawling through the cat-door, lifting high his tail with my last Scavenger Tea and small cruncher rocks balanced on the tray across his spine, N hissed and mrr-mrr’d stolidly (yes, a hiss can be quite stolid, as can mrrs. You should’ve heard N’s. Hsssss-hs, hssss-hs-hs. I mean, that’s stolid.

But outside, of course, was nothing, only the white sand plain stretched onward and on toward the black, starred horizon, the long-lightless sky, so obviously N would not be bringing tea or tray or even rocks much longer. And I’d nothing for him, nothing but a stroke or pat or chin-rub (maybe, if he should want it, but N’s not been into much of anything anymore. Nothing since we came here, crashing down in The Last Ship launched from Far-Far-Far World, its name itself the give-away to how our remnant--and finally no one, no one, no one left of all humanity and felinae 'xcept for me and N--had, planet by planet in stellar system after stellar sstem after cluster after galaxy, finally lost what hope and sense of home or future we ever might have had.

“Mrrr,” I murmured, making a stab at expressing it all. Then reached my strung-out, whitened, twig-thin left hand (or what one might still call “left hand”) over toward N, wishing there somehow remained a few Moonibbles or other sort of treat to offer him. Sad to tears that there were none. Sadder we weren’t, either of us, really into any of it much anymore.

N didn’t hiss at my gesture. N mrrr’d. Soon purred. Finding what he needed. Even though these hands, these arms, were pallid, chilly, twig-thin.

[282 words]

Jot wrote: "Hopefully we can come up with a better solution, because I'd rather not have to get multiple boosters each year. At least my fever broke and am feeling much better today. Thanks for all the well wi..."
So glad your fever broke and you're feeling better, Jot. Do take it easy, rest, don't push yourself. Glad you're doing better.

Agreed, Kalifer. The problems then include 1. if the vax/booster works well only for earlier variants (i.e., other than whatever the then-current multi variants may be), or barely works at all; 2. if protection/VE loses half (or so) of its strength after, e.g., 3 or 4 months but the booster/vax is given only 1 or 2 times/year. (This latter may clear down the Medicare/Social Security/SSI rolls and is also a great way to cultivate more variants, so may well be popular with governnments and, indeed, many citizens, in far too many nations, inc. US and UK.)

Oh Jot--so sorry that you have caught the virus. Are you able to get any of the antibody treatments? And--thank you for the warning re length of usefulness of the booster shot. --Wishing you a full and swift recovery.

Definitely, you have already achieved some depth and rounding for your pov character, Tom.

Beautifully done, Tom. Pacing, world-building, power--first-rate. The dialogue and characters had a cliched feel, but that seemed exactly appropriate and right for what the tale is doing. Still, a bit deeper characterization, for the male character at least, would--imho--make us care for the characters and thus, finally, make us fell the ending more.

Lovely story, Tom--this one'll be hard to beat.

Well paced, well constructed tale. Congratulations, Jot.

Thanks for those great reviews of each person's work, Tom and J.F. Wish I could do critiques anywhere near that quality, but most of mine are too general ("great pacing, but ending cuts off too soon", "yes, the captain is clearly heroic, but who IS he? Perhaps find some telling detail to give sense of him outside his captaining role") and not always so precisely what the particular story/author needs. But you both do critiquing so well.
Tom, thank you. A very concise understanding and clarification of my story--much appreciated.
And J.F., yes thank you--I shall add some detail(s) or other evocation to clarify the early paragraphs--and (I hadn't thought of this point--may deepen a sense of the mirroring-containment as metaphor for human self-closurings. Thank you.