Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

First day of Thanksgiving vacation. I'm trying to get one in under the wire.

I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving with family and friends wherever you are. I am thankful for the many stories and inspirations you all have given me over the past six years!

Jot wrote: "Good luck, dude"

Thanks Jot!

Hey friends, my latest audiobook is now live. It's of a book I released five years ago and is a collection of the stories written here. If you'd like an Audible promo code for a copy for you or a friend just let me know!

https://www.amazon.com/Microwaves-Sho...

Greg wrote: "On the subject of Solar Power:

My panels were 44 x 66", about 70 pounds each. I used a homemade hoist to get them to the second story roof.

My system is rated at 5kW and is grid-tied (no batterie..."

Wow, sounds like quite the set up. Maybe you get storage batteries in the future. Out where I live in Lake Stevens, WA, trees are always taking out power lines. I finally got a 50 amp outlet put on the side of my house and wired into my power panel. Now when it goes dark I turn everything off on my panel, flip to the new outlet, plug in my generator, then power my panel back up. I lost power for 37 hours last year during December and I basically had to stay up a couple nights to keep our wood burning stove going so the house didn't get cold. It's tough when all your heat and hot water is electric. Hope your system lets you use less from the grid and more from the sun!

Yes, great story Greg! And an element from Star Trek? Can't go wrong with that!

Greg wrote: "Done. Just under the wire.

I've been putting solar panels on my roof. Turned out to be quite a project but nearing completion of the PV array. still have wiring to do in the basement, but the big..."

Hey Greg,

Do you have storage batteries, or are they just to help reduce your overall draw from the grid?

Thanks Tom! I revised the title from Latest Model Year to New Model Year. Seems to flow a little better. I actually had an idea early on this month. I had to cut out a few bits and descriptive words I would have liked to keep, but such as it goes. I was afraid I crammed the ending into too short a space in the story so I'm glad you like the closing line.

New Model Year

The salesman looked up from his desk near the front of the dealership. He sighed, bored, and filed his perfect nails, making sure to not get any on his immaculate suit. Foot traffic was slow today and he had already seen all his scheduled appointments. Just then, he noticed a younger man pacing back and forth outside the main display window. Ah yes, that model always did seem to pull them in with its graceful, flowing lines and outsized frame. Indeed, he had sold several of that model himself. Gliding smoothly to the front door, he opened it widely to intercept the young man’s return trajectory.
“Good afternoon sir!” he said brightly.
“Hello.” Goldblum noted the reticent tone.
“I beg your pardon, but I could not help noticing that you were looking at our latest models. Would you like to come in for a more personal and private showcase?”
“I would, but I’m not,”
“You’re not buying something today, I completely understand,” interrupted Goldblum, who knew that this young man was absolutely buying something today. It was just a question of which model and how long it would take to overcome all the usual objections.
Money – We can arrange financing to accommodate almost any budget!
Performance – Satisfaction is absolutely guaranteed with a risk-free, 90-day trial period. Return your model no questions asked for a full refund.
Paperwork – We handle all the titles, certificates, licenses and legalities. You don’t even have to lift a finger!
Longevity – Each of our unique models is designed to provide a lifetime of enjoyment. In the rare instance of a mechanical failure or damage, we handle all maintenance and upgrades.
By the time Goldblum had walked the young man – a recently divorced, 32-year-old Thomas Anderson, around the showroom, he knew a sale was imminent. They looked at all the starter models, the mid-life crises models, and everything in-between from basic economy, muscle, family-mover, and sports editions.
“Well Mister Anderson, have you come to a decision sir?” asked Goldblum.
“I think so. I really liked that one in the bright red. Great lines, headlights, the works.”
“An excellent choice if I do say so sir. Very sporty. Shall we begin the paperwork?”
“Yes please, and the personalization?”
“It only takes about thirty minutes, then we’ll have you on your way.”
“Thank you very much Mister Goldblum, you’ve been very helpful.”
“Of course, of course! I’m happy I could be of assistance. Now if you’ll just follow me…”
The two men shook hands, then disappeared into the back of the dealership to conclude the sale.
***
With a wave back at Mister Goldblum, Thomas Anderson stepped out onto Central Park Boulevard and headed towards the nearest subway station. He was nervous, but excited too. It had all happened so fast, but here he was with a new license and registration, complete with a congratulatory “Just Married” card from Mister Goldblum in his coat pocket.
“Are you okay?” asked Jennifer.
“Huh? I mean, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” asked Thomas.
“Well, I am different than what you’re used to.”
“What? You mean shrill, shrewish, unpleasant and unattractive?”
Jennifer laughed.
“No silly, I mean because…”
“Because you’re an auto-MATE?”
“Yes,” she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“Well, if the personalization worked, you know more about me than I know about myself, right?”
“True, but it’s all still a jumble inside. It will take time to get it sorted and know you like anyone else.”
“But I’m actually looking forward to that with you Jen.”
“I’m glad,” she squeezed his hand again.
The heavy sea of humanity flowing around them seemed to fade away, until they were yanked brutally back to reality.
“Hello Thomas,” another woman’s voice intruded.
Thomas came face to face with his ex.
“Hello Beth,” he said dejectedly.
“Well, I see you’ve already moved on. Ink’s barely dry on the divorce papers,” Beth snorted derisively.
“It’s none of your business any more Beth. Now if you’ll excuse us.” Thomas tried to brush past her, placing himself between his ex and Jennifer.
“I don’t think so Thomas,” said Beth, drawing a small blaster out of her purse.
“You’re going to pay dearly…”
A shot rang out, but Thomas found himself hurled to safety as his new auto-MATE reflexively protected him from harm.
Staggering back to his feet, he turned to see Beth disappearing into the crowd and Jennifer bleeding profusely from a chest wound.
“It’s okay,” she coughed.
He caught her as she sank to the pavement.
“My…warranty…covers…gunshots…”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2023
Reviews/critiques welcome

Tom, Chris, great stories!

Chris, the very first word should be corrected to "Your" as in "Your kids are too skinny..."

A giant kaiju shrimp! Love it!

Great batch of stories too! Nicely done!

Thank you friends for your many kind words and condolences. I sincerely appreciate them all - and all of you! Thanks again!

Thanks Jeremy and Jack.

Thanks Carrie, much appreciated.

Hi friends,

I may not get a story in this month. My father passed away unexpectedly last Wednesday, so I'm flying out to Chicago tomorrow for his funeral. I wrote his obituary and now I get to give the eulogy. I did get a chance to visit him in June over the Father's Day weekend with my youngest brother, and it was a good visit, so I'm glad I at least had that.

Jot, happy for your impending nuptials!

Talk to you all later!

Chris wrote: "All part of my diabolical plan! ;)"

I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

Thanks Tom!!

Jot wrote: "Justin> Under our reciprocity rule, do we all have to write reviews of Tom's story?

It's not required, but it is listed in the rules as "expected":

From Rule 8c:
Writers who have their story crit..."

Review posted!

Tom wrote: "I've always felt review from several viewpoints is helpful in getting perspective on a story.

As I've said before, I miss the days when reviews were common in this group."

Review posted!

Review of “The Last Goodbye” by Tom Olbert

One of the first things I liked about this story is how the opening three sentences set the stage so quickly and efficiently. They are still descriptive, but it gets the story going fast. I immediately get a sense of place while purpose follows after in the next section. The two main protagonists, David and Henry are also effectively thumbnail sketched. As I reread the story, I could not help but feel a little understanding towards David’s position, even though he was clearly the “bad guy”. To do that in such a short amount of words demonstrates very effective story-telling. Of course it is wrong that David is about to massacre his old friend and his students for the sake of his narrow-minded, human-centric ideology, but he is not the type of “moustache twirling” villain that is so cliché.

The turnabout of course is unexpected yet continues moving the story along briskly, delivering David’s comeuppance. I think Tom enjoys using more Lovecraftian-type creatures with tentacles and claws, as they have featured prominently in other stories he has written over the years, although these specific aliens reminded me of the ones in “The Hidden”. Excellent use of the monthly theme and required elements.

Yes, great story Chris!