Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s Comments (group member since Sep 20, 2013)

Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s comments from the Net Work Book Club group.

mrbooks wrote: "OH no we are back to the chicken jokes again...

What is an eggs favorite board game? Scramble"

How do we get out of this chicken outfit! LOL
(And boy did I just date myself. Again.)

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

"Her relationship with the truth has never been a close one."

Love it--and so true of many folks.

mrbooks wrote: "It is at the fork in the road that we meet big bird..."

Careful, that big bird may turn out to be a real jive turkey!

Much better than being scene and herd in some cheesecake photoshoot. Those are usually such cattlemarkets!

Hope it's better than their usual cheesy centerfold!

I used the word to one of my students, who had never heard it. You should have seen her face!! She was certainly flabbergasted by this odd sound coming out of a normal person's face!

"Flabbergasted." It means amazed. So is "to flabbergast" a verb? LOL

I'm a bit wooly-headed this early in the day, but I can spin you a yarn if you like!

Now, now. Little lambs shouldn't squeal at each other like this! Veal have to find another topic.

Well, they have to, there's a lot at steak. They have to chop and change all the time, and it's a real grind!

I am eaten up with jealousy at your wit! So far I got nothin'--not a sausage!

Just thinking how times have changed. Woke up with an old soul song in my head that was "cute" back in the day, and would be sooo inappropriate now. It was called "You Can't Change That" and in part it said, "You can change your telephone number, you can change your adress too, but you can't stop me from lovin' you, no you can't change that, no-no."
Today he'd be charged with stalking!

Not to mention the old Monkees song, "Mary Mary"
"Mary, Mary, where you goin' to?
What more, Mary, can I do
To prove that my love is truly yours?
I've done more now than a clear-thinkin' man would do
Mary, Mary, it's not over
Where you go, I will follow
Till I win your love again
And walk beside you, but until then
Mary, Mary, where you goin' to?"

If she's got any sense, Mary is running to the nearest police station!

I need to know how to dis-mount this spare tyre around my waist!!

Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments,
Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5.. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7..... The airbag system would ask,"Are you sure?"before deploying.

8....... Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9....... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!

One of my own, that surprised me by coming out of my mouth. In response to a rude, intrusive piece of "advice" from a total stranger:
"Surely you have some business of your own that needs minding."

Like father like son!!

Is anyone else annoyed when someone posts on a forum or YT, "Help me name my cat/dog/hamster or whatever"?
You chose to have a pet, person. Observe the animal and give them a name that fits. If you can't even pick an animal's name for yourself, you shouldn't have one. Or kids, for that matter.

Did you just tell an off-colour joke? LOL

This isn't a "joke" per se, but it made me chuckle. One of those overheard conversations.
One lady said to the other, "I'm not asking to be rich, if I could just have enough money to live on without having to worry."
Her friend gave her "that look", tsked and said, "Oh, if you didn't have to worry about money, you'd worry about something else."

Looks like Cataluña's "independence" is going down the pan even quicker than expected. It's been nonsense and talk from the git-go but now all the big banks and the gas co. etc are saying they're going to withdraw from there and put their main offices etc in other cities, on the Spanish side. "Ooops, well...we may need to negotiate!" Such a tiny population could never compete on a European level, let alone any other, anyway. So much for the unilateral, rushed and gerrymandered "referendum" with the pre-stuffed ballot boxes.