Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s Comments (group member since Sep 20, 2013)

Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s comments from the Net Work Book Club group.

We have a corrolary: Eat things as close to the way they appear in Nature as possible. I. E., as little processing as possible.

Or as DH says, "If you can't pronounce it, it's not healthy." Referring to all the chemicals they put in food now.

Groovy wrote: "If you're trying to lose weight (and who isn't) follow this advice and the pounds will melt away:

If man made it, don't eat it."

If it comes in a plastic package with bright colours and big letters on the label--it's not food. The size and brightness are inversely proportioned to the amount of nutrition in the package, and directly proportioned to the number of empty calories.

Let the record show, I contributed three jokes up there...but if you insist...

John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

"Serious joking action"--now that's funny!!

When someone had conniptions/kittens/a cow, my mother used to say, "She just about had a squealin' worm!" Where this came from I have no idea, but she always said it. Back in the days of the old Fairy Tale Theater TV series, at the end of Snow White Vanessa Redgrave basically has a squealin' worm when all her mirrors turn black.

In Britain they write it kerfuffle. I think it may originally be Yiddish but don't quote me on that.

To "hissy fit" (which I never heard before the turn of the milennium) I prefer Beverly Cleary's "great big noisy fuss." Ramona was prone to them, and it is what it says.

I also admired her mom in Ramona the Pest (I think). When Ramona tells her mom that if she doesn't get her way she'll throw a tantrum, her mom says, "So throw, but I'm not going to stand here and watch you." And walks out forthwith. (Isn't forthwith a lovely word?) Ramona realises she'd waste time an energy on a tantrum with nobody watching, so she doesn't.

mrbooks wrote: "It reminds me of a line that could be used in a comedy sketch. I said to myself, self this is a bad place to be..."

My algebra teacher used it all the time when explaining a problem to the class. It was probably some 1950s comic he got it from. Of course we didn't get the reference so it wasn't funny to us, particularly after the umpteenth time.

Groovy wrote: "Conniption fit, or a hissy fit. What is a conniption? Or a Hissy? I bet it originated in the South. We're always coming up with weird sayings..."

Originally (by which I mean about the 17th century) a "conniption" was a paralytic stroke. Which people believed then could be brought on by strong emotions, upsets, etc.

Oh, and a line some of my teachers in highschool thought was oh so droll...

"So I said to myself, "Self..."

I see I'm workin' alone here....ah well...

A family has fried chicken for dinner, and there's a lot left over. The little boy gathers a plateful of nice, meaty pieces on a plate after the meal and heads for the back door. His dad says, "Didn't you eat enough? Where are you going with all that chicken?"

"Dad, I have to feed Fido."

"Well, don't give him all that good chicken! Here let me help you." Dad proceeds to gather up bones and scraps and skin, and the neck pieces and liver and all like that. "Here son, give this to Fido. He'll enjoy it just as much."

The little boy walks out to the doghouse and says sadly, "Well, pal, I was going to bring you an offering, but all I've got is a collection."

(Heard decades ago at church just before they took up the offering.)

One that I haven't heard since I left home, but that for some reason I found cringe-making as a kid: to fly off the handle. Which means to have a conniption or a hissy fit. My mother was always telling someone not to fly off the handle, and I always wondered, the handle of what? And what happens if you let it up gently instead of "flying off it"? And who perches on a handle anyway? And all like that.

"Doctor, doctor, I've got a real problem. I just have to have sex twice a night, every night. I can't help myself, I'm a sex addict." "How old are you now, Mr Green?" "84." "Calm down, Mr Green, calm down. You're not a sex addict at all!" "I'm not?" "Of course not. You're delusional."

'Doctor I feel really ill, I think I'm on my way out...' 'Nonsense! The last thing you're going to do is die!'

In winter my dog wears his coat. In summer my dog wears his coat and pants.

I'm going to the seashore to wave goodbye!

I have other fish to fry, for sure. I want to give you both the piece of cod that passes understanding!

We're all in the same boat, we'll have to get something from the market to tide us over.

If it's a Fanta sea, make mine orange!

You know, if I had a Youtube channel where I tried to show people how to do things (ie "tutorials") I would take the trouble to think about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it before filming. I might even take notes, or make an outline, or something. Even a three-minute tutorial is teeth-grinding to listen to when someone, you know, is, uh, like...not sure what they really wan...really want to say and they...take forever to say it? Or make every statement sound like a question, okay? But, uh, I guess...it's...just me...Iike, ya know...ummmm...whatever.