G.G.’s Comments (group member since Sep 03, 2013)

G.G.’s comments from the Bisky's Twitterling's Scribbles! group.

HI Ben Welcome aboard! Classification is a pain. Especially when you write something different than then everyone else. As for GR, if you have any problems/question, I'm sure one of us can/will try to help you out. Never be afraid to ask any questions. :)

And Hello Jason, welcome aboard! I'm with you there. Not enough UFO/Alien stories. I used to love the show Project UFO (the show where a team would investigate UFO and always end up with stuff like weather balloon etc.)

I'm still wondering about the YA genre. I just saw someone offering their book in a R&R. It was described as YA, 18+
In my mind YA 18+ would make it a NA but I guess since YA sells better and flocks the crowd, authors call their books YA(?). Sorry I had to get that out of my system.

I didn't read the article, and I don't know what's the big deal. If people want to read YA books it's their choice. Why insult them? Personally, I prefer my protagonists/antagonists a little older, but once in a while I don't mind YA. After all, like it or not, the saying is true: you're only as old as your heart is. Age doesn't matter. The day you think you are too old for something is the day you start having health problems. Taste might evolve as you age, but it doesn't do a complete turn over.

I see this as the expiration date on a product. Nothing happens during the night when the date changes to good to expire. It doesn't turn immediately from being good to being bad. Tastes are the same.

I know I'm a bit late here. Sorry about that, I have no clue how I missed this.

First paragraph, I had to re-read it a few times before I realized that the disease made her seem dead. What I mean is you say that he discovers she's got a rare disease and then he digs her up. The first question that popped in my mind was 'They bury sick people?' and than I realized that (like vampires for instance) they only thought her dead. Still, on first read it's unclear and might be what makes them refuse your book.

The second paragraph, as stated above is quite busy.
For example, you don't need to mention that the strange tribe is men with heads of animals. I'm thinking that the readers can discover that as they read. The two parts of the sentences are redundant. If you want to keep the heads remove the strange tribe part, because between us, if they have head of animals, that makes them automatically 'strange'.

If this is not a sequel, you don't need to mention Malick. How about just say "The oppressor who stole his kingdom still sees him as a threat." I can imagine that if he is a threat, Malick will have something in mind for him anyway, since he is an oppressor.
I also think that if Larsen is your MC or at least the most important character, the less names you add to the blurb, the more it emphasizes on that. That said, I think that you keep Gwen's name is important. No offense to anyone here, but some people prefer not to read m/m or f/f so that you state that his 'beloved' is named Gwen clarifies that part. The other way around goes too. If someone wants to read a m/m, seeing Gwen's name will tell them that it's not what they seek. A blurb is all about attracting the right people to the right book whatever the story is.

Lastly, I am with M.C. here. It's unclear if Larsen is in fact the sun king.

Over all, the story is intriguing. You just need a little touch up for the blurb to be clearer. Good luck.

Hello and welcome aboard Scott.
I'm sure your book will be popular. Fairytale Retelling is strong these days.

haha Sure looks like it Kamil! ;)

:) Zorro is my all-time favorite. In black, in pink or in cartoons, I just can't resist him (or even sometimes her) for long before I succumb and have to watch it (or read it). Bring it on!

Haha yeah, it took me a while to accept (and digest) that movie. I had refused to watch it for years. In the end I gave in and I liked it. It was rather funny. :)

I didn't see the picture but to be honest, I never liked Captain America. Well that's not true either. I used to be a fan of the cartoon on TV, although my favorite always was Thor, but that's another story.

I don't know why you wouldn't be allowed to make fun of a character if after all, people can make fun of any public figure. It's just a comic character geez!

Disclaimer: I live in the US but I am not American. Maybe it influences my answer, but I don't think so. The hubby is, and he wouldn't give a 'beep' if he'd see it.

BTW, you can make fun of any heroes, just leave Zorro out of it or I'll have to go find you and... tickle you till you wet your pants! :P

So be yourself Bisky. Don't mind people who get upset for nothing. It's their loss if they can't laugh.

And you know what an 'old soul' means, do you? People usually call old souls people who have reincarnated many times. Kind of strange coming from strangers who don't even know you when you think about it.

Sandrine, I'm not afraid of having either in my stories. There's a black woman in my book who holds her own, but I'm not sure if I could pull it off as the MC. Of course, like you, I write in first person pov of a man and I'm a woman so yes, maybe I could after all.

Wow Bisky, that was intense!

I could almost imagine those busy patterns on the wallpaper being the cause of it. I mean it must have been nice when fully awake in a well lit room but soon as darkness takes over, small patterns can turn into all kinds of things especially when the child has great imagination. I'm no fan of wall paper to begin with, so my reaction to it might be bias.

Secondly, I'm not sure which shocks me most: a poor baby Bisky having a nightmare, or the poor baby receiving a shot of whatever it was because of it. As if being scared was not enough they had to poke you too?!?!?!

As for the other one, maybe you saw a picture and it triggered other things you've seen and put it all together? I know that there was a time when to scare people about cigarettes they were showing the tar as big bad monsters.

You may also have mixed both a picture you saw and some other life you lived in prior to this one. Who knows? :)

Bisky wrote: "I just sent out a tweet since a scene in my new WIP is inspired by a night terror I had when I was four. I just looked it up on wikipedia and aparently they're rarer than I thought they'd be with a..."


Do you remember any of them Bisky? If so, please please please tell us about one (or two, or three!!)

Anthony wrote: "Yes you are right people who live in cities see the night as horrifying, who would come to my rescue if a big bad something came? ME. So yes there is a story a big bad something comes and I deal wi..."

Nope I lived most of my life in the city and never was afraid of the night. That said, I'm not saying that a night sky isn't more beautiful in the country, far away from the city lights, but to say that people from cities sees night as horrifying is quite wrong.
Of course, it may depend on which part of the city you live but that doesn't make it true for everyone.

As for the 'who would take care of it', I was referring to horror stories that are out of this world. I'm not doubting that you can take care of yourself, or that your wife can take care of herself but in horror stories, the 'horror' doesn't always come from something predictable.

Besides, I don't think Bisky meant that people were actually afraid of the night but rather I believe she meant nightmares, which could still happen during the day. Night has nothing to do with it aside from maybe that most people sleep at night and that's where the name comes from.

I have to agree with Carl. It's not that people don't want to but rather that they (we) might be afraid to make monumental mistakes, which would be thousands of times worse than keeping away from writing about it.

People are prompt to jump to conclusions. I've seen it in another discussion group. Someone was offering to review SP authors. When one ask if she would review a m/m story, she said she didn't mind gays and lesbians in real life but wasn't prepared to read about it and preferred not to. She immediately got called homophobic for refusing. I mean, when someone can't even choose what they want to read for fear of being branded names, I can't imagine how it would turn out for a writer who'd write about something and make a mistake while doing so. Nah, people rather stick with something safer and who can blame them?

ugh! I hate snakes! Any kind because I know nothing about them so I couldn't tell a venomous snake from a garden snake. They are all things from horror movies!

But Anthony! That's the perfect setting for a horror movie! Who would come to your rescue if a big bad something would come to your house?

I used to live in the country too, but with neighbors a little closer. The sky at night was awesome, but it took a little while to get used to the darkness out there.

So night terrors as a child? I remember having them quite often, but I don't remember what they were. My mom would come and get me and I would sleep the rest of the night between my parents and dream of ocean and fish. It always puzzled me how the dreams could change completely from one room to another.

As for writing about them, if I do, it's without knowing it because, as I said, I don't remember any of these bad dreams. I just remember screaming like crazy and be so happy to see my mother at my bedroom door.

I love this one. It's cleaner and 'crispier'.

There is one thing that caught my eyes though. You have a sentence that sounds funny. 'With a shapeshifter named Jesse.' There is no verb, and it feels as if it should be attached to another. I've seen people use fragments to emphasize on something, but yours don't seem to be done for that purpose.
Aside from that little thing, which you may have planned, I don't think I'd change anything.
Thumbs up!

Cool. I admit I've been worried that I might have been too hard on your query. Yet just telling you I liked it would not have helped you improve it, which in the end is the goal no matter how great it was in the beginning. I'm looking forward to read the new one. :)

Would this help?

http://www.writersdigest.com/online-e...

I see your point for the two shape shifters. So why not just say that Jesse will seek the help of two shape shifters to fulfill his goal?

That's my problem with the query. In my mind, this was done to catch the attention of whoever it is sent to and once you got it, then they'd ask for more Info.
I could be wrong...