Simone’s Comments (group member since Apr 13, 2020)

Simone’s comments from the The Nerd Daily Book Club group.

well... I for one hate them because I always feel sorry for either one or two of the ones pining after same person... :D

I feel that!!! I love me a fake/pretend relationship Moment even if it’s just for the blink of an eye and I literally screamed when I got to that last page!

Obviously this puts Felix in a very tough spot now though 🙈

I don’t know how far everyone is yet but speaking of Ezra... what so we say about the cliffhanger in the last chapter? 😏

Also, who got really strong skam vibes when Ezra was looking at Felix while snogging someone else? Because daaaaaamn son 😂

Ahhh i agree with all that’s been said so far!!

Yay Clau for being right about Declan! Again, k love how there isn’t one downright evil character in this book because everyone has these facets and it’s just... *chefs kiss*

So, you guys! What do we think?

Yes! To all of that! Self-acceptance is key for Felix to become more confident. I also think that a big part of that is the fact that he is still kind of questioning who he is. And that I feel results in even less self acceptance. I want to hug and shake Felix in turn!

Mary wrote: "Hey, everyone!

I’m super late with my introduction - sorry about that!

My name is Mary, I’m 19 and my I’m @bookstorevibe on bookstagram! I’m not a vegan but a vegetarian and I love to bake as wel..."

Hi Mary! A hearty welcome to you! I feel like you'll fit right in with your fondness for baked goods and reading everything but horror. We are an easily scared bunch, aren't we? :D

I very much enjoy that we seem to be on the same page about all of the issues in the book!

Mimi, just to further validate you, I agree with Alina: FOX CRUSHES ARE VALID!

I absolutely see where you guys are coming from about Declan. The more Felix obsesses over him, the more I think there must be more to him than simply being an absolute asshole.

Also because I agree with Alina, the characters are extremely real in that they all have positive sides, negative sides, they cry they laugh they make mistakes and they feel like people you could meet in NYC (or anywhere really, they are just so very human). So I don't think that Declan is the exception here. I think he's just as human, just as much of a teenager who does things because of certain reasons that he thinks are valid. Thankfully, we can continue on tomorrow!

Also, Clau: BIG SAME. The cover is so absolutely gorgeous, which is why we've come up with the challenge this month to make self-portraits of ourselves (maybe even with flowercrowns!) and I sincerely hope that everyone joins in because I can't wait to see the result :)

Mimi, I am super not here for the friends circle. I do not like Hazel, Marisol and the rest of the gang at all, except for Leah. Her I like haha! About Felix's dad... it's a bit of a difficult situation. Because he is clearly not sure about what he's doing and what he's supposed to be doing and I completely get how hurt Felix is by his actions such as deadnaming him and using the wrong pronouns etc. Yet, I feel like he is a great father overall. He is there for his kid, calls him his kid at least instead of... idk, his daughter? And he's always there for him, he made it possible for Felix to get top surgery, he obviously care's deeply for him and I feel like that he's trying. And I give him lots of kudos for that and do actually very much like him.

Okay, here are some quotes and thoughts that I had while reading:

"Two gay guys cuddling in the heart of Brooklyn shouldn't feel this revolutionary, but suddenly, it does. Maybe it's the weed, or maybe it's the fact that I'm that much closer to being an adult, but I suddenly feel a little reckless."

I loved this quote. It feels like so much possibility for these young kids and even though I wasn't a big fan of the man they 'put on the show' for, this part of the scene made me feel as giddy as I imagined Felix was feeling and that's just excellent writing!

"[...] you're literally invisible because of your brown skin. Sometimes I try to find a white person to walk behind, just so that when everyone jumps out of that person's way, they won't knock into me."

As giddy as I was feeling before, this just hurt me. As a white person I of course know my privilege but that these are legit thoughts to be had I didn't know and I was absolutely shook. This one sentence with this one imagery holds so much meaning that I was absolutely shook.

The fact that Ezra has a Judith I and the Head of Holofernes by Klimt tattoo. That we need to talk about because obviously I googled it and it's this super intense femme fatale with a head of her enemy under her arm. Thoughts? Feelings? Interpretations? I NEED THEM ALL.

On the subject of Ezra being the friend everyone should have: "[...] jumping onto Instagram to see how many likes my #foodporn post of the mangoes got. Two so far: one from Ezra, the other from Ezra's fake account." Friendship, y'all.

"We never talk about it. How he doesn't like saying the name Felix out loud. How he'll always slip up and use the wrong pronouns, and not bother to correct himself. How some nights, when he's had a little too much whiskey or beer, he'll tell me that I'll always be his daughter, his little girl."
Again, this on the subject of the dad. This made me so so so sad. I do get Felix's issues with his dad I really do. It's such a tough position to be in as father and son that I can't even begin to imagine.

"It makes me wonder if I really am Felix, no matter how loud I shout that name."
I know that this is in regard to his own gender identity. Yet I felt like this sentence is just... a general questioning of himself as a person and this is just so relatable and wonderfully put that I simply had to include it.

"There's a spark of frustration in my chest. Ezra gets to have a midlife crisis at the age of seventeen because of his privilege and his family's wealth. Me? I have to figure out what I want to do and work my ass off for it if I want to have a chance of any sort of future."
So. I am going to be a little controversial now. BOY am I annoyed at Felix sometimes. Because I know it's hard to be him. I see him and all the issues that he has to face and all the hardship that he's had in his life what with his mother leaving, feeling unlovable, feeling unseen because he thinks he's just too POC, too queer and too trans. But I am not here for this. Felix does this thing where he turns super egoistical and selfish and keeps only thinking about himself and about how hard life is for him and how he envies everyone around him. And then he has this brilliant best friend, who let's him crash at his place all the time, who stands up for him without even questioning it and who accepts and loves him for who he is. And this kid has his own issues. He does. Ezra doesn't have a close relationship with his parents and that is so very obvious. While for Felix having his own flat means freedom, I bet it is super lonely at times for Ezra. He obviously doesn't feel entirly comfortable either or else he would have properly furnished the place. It is absolutely legit to be questioning what you want to do with your life and to be scared of the future and Ezra is the last person to deserve that kind of attitude from Felix. Because Ezra is valid as hell and Felix doesn't deserve him in this very moment. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

"Why am I always the person who just sits to the side and watches? What is it about me that no one likes, that no one wants? It's like it's too much for other people - me having brown skin, and being queer, and being trans on top of that... or, maybe that's just what I tell myself because I'm too afraid to put myself out there again, too afraid to being rejected and getting hurt. Maybe it's a little bit of both."

This one. Alright, so this goes a bit hand in hand with my last rant. I get that Felix feels alone a lot. I think what he describes here as well seems to be absolutely valid and understandable. Especially because he's in a room with people he isn't really friends with but who Ezra invited to the party. Marisol being one of them. I completely relate to Felix here and I felt incredibly sorry for him and I went from being mad at him to wanting to protect him in a span of only a couple of pages.

I also loved the discussion about the hotness of animated characters. What are your thoughts and feelings on that? No joke, I was super sweet on Chiaki from Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne LOL

To pick up the conversation after the "straight people are exhausting" again, this struck especially with me:
"Did you all see that article on whether women have any value if they don't get married and have children?"
I don't even know what to say about this one except for... god straight people are exhausting.

and I would also love to talk about the fact that they talk about how much representation matters. Because all these queer kids in this book have at one point seen a character in a film or book that are like them and they could relate and I think that's so very important. Essential. And I am so happy to see more and more diverse books being released, especially in the YA department!

And I would like to end on this absolute powerhouse that knocked me off my feet:

"You don't get to use my pain to make your point"

I'm super glad that you two are on team Ezra! And I agree, Nicole, I keep wanting to go to NYC as well - Broadway, helloooo??

Two other things you've already said, Nicole: I agree on the misogynist thing. WHOA was I mad when I read this, WHOA was I mad. And I absolutely love this element of whodunnit in this book what with finding out who the person behind the gallery was. Even though I enjoyed exactly nothing about the gallery.

I have made some notes about these first chapters and will upload them in a bit because I have some more points where I'd be excited to hear what you thought!

Hunty, I will gladly be your assigned vegan 😂😂😂

I am all for physical meet ups with cookies! Damn! Maybe for our end of month discussion we can all post pictures of our snacks and we‘ll feel closer to each other <3 😂 i am currently making vegan Chili Jam! Anyone up for making scones??

Lauren!!!! You’ve made iiit! Hello hello!!! Sit down, grab a vegan (YAY for the bff club growing!) cookie and relax! I‘m very excited to have you and I hope you will have a good time for your first ever book club!!

Yes, we are both very much team Ezra and we love him and we couldn't love him any more if we tried! Isn't that right Mims?

HERE WE BLOODY GO! Thoughts, ideas, feelings so far?

YAY!

Guuuuuys i‘m very excited! Only 2 days to go until we can start discussing chapters 1-8!!!! Eeeeek! Does everyone have their copies yet?!

Nicole wrote: "Stupid amazon aren't delivering my book til the 11th, grumble grumble. I do have most of that week off so I can catch up but still, I wanted to start it on the 10th 😭 Fingers crossed it comes earli..."

I agree with what Mimi said! We don't love amazon in this house!!! I hope it comes soon! My isn't here yet either and I'm stressing :(

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