Seeker’s answer to “This book is disgusting to me. I do not understand why an educated and worldly individual would hav…” > Likes and Comments
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Seeker, your comment is spot on! Love of parents is hardwired into the human brain. We want and crave the love even when it hurts us. As children, in our brain, we see the abuse as our fault. We see everything, good or bad, as revolving around us. I believe that is why the vestiges of abuse remain with us forever. Try as we might they are there and we must do what we can to separate from the effects.
Very well said, and so very true. It's a life-long search for that elusive "normal." I think it's one reason I'm drawn to these stories of survival, of the resiliency of the human spirit.
The moment in the book when she wanted desperately to go to her father and beg his forgiveness and promise never do anything against him again summed it up for me. Wanting your parents acknowledgement of your humanity is a driving force established in infancy as a means of survival.
I walked away from physically and emotionally abusive family and didn’t look back. Life became so much better without their interference and hate.
I yelled at the book and had a VERY hard time with her constant returning and wanting to be back in the family fold. I do think she undersells how horrible her parents are. All I can think is that humans have little to no sense of self preservation.
I totally empathise with Germaine!! I too walked away from my abusive mother. I moved to a different island and a different city. When I finally got married, i moved to a different country!! The further away I am from my mother, the better. I too could not understand why Tara kept going back home. would that be like the Stockholm Syndrome. While her parents are not kidnappers, they were Tara's abusers. (less)
It is similar to the Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes culture plays a big part. Another big part is if you have siblings who were not abused. That was my case and for many years I knew I had done something wrong because I was the only one abused. There are so many facets that can contribute to a person's response to horrific abuse.
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Deb
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Jul 13, 2018 11:54AM
Seeker, your comment is spot on! Love of parents is hardwired into the human brain. We want and crave the love even when it hurts us. As children, in our brain, we see the abuse as our fault. We see everything, good or bad, as revolving around us. I believe that is why the vestiges of abuse remain with us forever. Try as we might they are there and we must do what we can to separate from the effects.
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Very well said, and so very true. It's a life-long search for that elusive "normal." I think it's one reason I'm drawn to these stories of survival, of the resiliency of the human spirit.
The moment in the book when she wanted desperately to go to her father and beg his forgiveness and promise never do anything against him again summed it up for me. Wanting your parents acknowledgement of your humanity is a driving force established in infancy as a means of survival.
I walked away from physically and emotionally abusive family and didn’t look back. Life became so much better without their interference and hate. I yelled at the book and had a VERY hard time with her constant returning and wanting to be back in the family fold. I do think she undersells how horrible her parents are. All I can think is that humans have little to no sense of self preservation.
I totally empathise with Germaine!! I too walked away from my abusive mother. I moved to a different island and a different city. When I finally got married, i moved to a different country!! The further away I am from my mother, the better. I too could not understand why Tara kept going back home. would that be like the Stockholm Syndrome. While her parents are not kidnappers, they were Tara's abusers. (less)
It is similar to the Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes culture plays a big part. Another big part is if you have siblings who were not abused. That was my case and for many years I knew I had done something wrong because I was the only one abused. There are so many facets that can contribute to a person's response to horrific abuse.
