Elysia’s answer to “This book is disgusting to me. I do not understand why an educated and worldly individual would hav…” > Likes and Comments
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I highly recommend watching the author's interview about the book at Cambridge. She answers a question as to whether she blames the state for what happened: https://www.gatescambridge.org/multim...
What I feel is disgusting is that we allow children to be treated like this under the guise of religious freedom. yes yes yes! that was my feeling as well. disgusting and very very sad.
It's easy to assume that this situation occurred because of religious freedom, and certainly, their community all knew and saw the children every week at church. They saw people with significant injuries knowing they would not seek any medical attention. They saw children who were smelly and ill-dressed. They heard the ludicrous rantings of the children's parents and knew they were unstable regardless of their religion. But as a teacher who lives well away from Idaho and Mormonism, both geographically and philosophically, I can assure you that this did NOT happen because of their religion. This happened, and will continue to happen, because we hold parents' rights to raise their children as they see fit as sacred. I have dealt with families who reminded me in ways of the Westovers. I'm thinking of a family now who have the same number of kids as the Westovers who are not Mormons. They are poor, the children wear ill-fitting clothes that are hand-me-downs and faded/torn/stained, the children all frequently stink (we plainly but privately tell them they have to bathe with soap and wash their hair; they usually do when we tell them), they are all painfully thin (so is the mother, so it could be genetic disposition, but the father is rather roly-poly). The mother is cognitively limited and so are most of the kids. Yet when we have a clothing or shoe or food giveaway, the father turns it down. While they do come to school, they are often denied extracurricular opportunities like field trips and stay home on those days. It's almost as if the father, who has absolute and total control, is terrified his children will have fun in their lives that isn't a credit to him. There are no grounds for a CPS call -- while thin, they aren't starved; while stinky, they don't have scabies or other skin conditions. If we had any suspicion of violence or neglect, we would make a call in a heartbeat. Until then, there is no way to just make parents do what so many of us think is normal. I see in the father what Tara's father embraced: the elevation of the notion that he is somehow above normal, that normal is automatically wrong because it is what most people do. I don't think the father is mentally ill -- I think he's just a rotten jerk. My husband and I both read the book. He couldn't believe it. I was not so naive.
The kindness and care you show these children may be their lifeline.
This is a tale of parental and family abuse, untreated mental health, and isolation. Religion is a tertiary theme. Id even that.
But hasn’t religion all through the centuries strengthened the idea that the man is in control and the man is in charge the pumps up the male ego and women are not seen as equal just like in the family that was just described by the teacher.
Women and children continue to practice male dominated religious practice and, in my opinion, they suffer.
BINGO! Totally nailed it, Elysia. "If abuse is all you know, you think it's normal." The people who raise us (for good or ill) are called role models for a reason. It's hard to break the conditioning . . .
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superawesomekt
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Apr 22, 2018 05:37PM
I highly recommend watching the author's interview about the book at Cambridge. She answers a question as to whether she blames the state for what happened: https://www.gatescambridge.org/multim...
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What I feel is disgusting is that we allow children to be treated like this under the guise of religious freedom. yes yes yes! that was my feeling as well. disgusting and very very sad.
It's easy to assume that this situation occurred because of religious freedom, and certainly, their community all knew and saw the children every week at church. They saw people with significant injuries knowing they would not seek any medical attention. They saw children who were smelly and ill-dressed. They heard the ludicrous rantings of the children's parents and knew they were unstable regardless of their religion. But as a teacher who lives well away from Idaho and Mormonism, both geographically and philosophically, I can assure you that this did NOT happen because of their religion. This happened, and will continue to happen, because we hold parents' rights to raise their children as they see fit as sacred. I have dealt with families who reminded me in ways of the Westovers. I'm thinking of a family now who have the same number of kids as the Westovers who are not Mormons. They are poor, the children wear ill-fitting clothes that are hand-me-downs and faded/torn/stained, the children all frequently stink (we plainly but privately tell them they have to bathe with soap and wash their hair; they usually do when we tell them), they are all painfully thin (so is the mother, so it could be genetic disposition, but the father is rather roly-poly). The mother is cognitively limited and so are most of the kids. Yet when we have a clothing or shoe or food giveaway, the father turns it down. While they do come to school, they are often denied extracurricular opportunities like field trips and stay home on those days. It's almost as if the father, who has absolute and total control, is terrified his children will have fun in their lives that isn't a credit to him. There are no grounds for a CPS call -- while thin, they aren't starved; while stinky, they don't have scabies or other skin conditions. If we had any suspicion of violence or neglect, we would make a call in a heartbeat. Until then, there is no way to just make parents do what so many of us think is normal. I see in the father what Tara's father embraced: the elevation of the notion that he is somehow above normal, that normal is automatically wrong because it is what most people do. I don't think the father is mentally ill -- I think he's just a rotten jerk. My husband and I both read the book. He couldn't believe it. I was not so naive.
The kindness and care you show these children may be their lifeline. This is a tale of parental and family abuse, untreated mental health, and isolation. Religion is a tertiary theme. Id even that.
But hasn’t religion all through the centuries strengthened the idea that the man is in control and the man is in charge the pumps up the male ego and women are not seen as equal just like in the family that was just described by the teacher.
Women and children continue to practice male dominated religious practice and, in my opinion, they suffer.
BINGO! Totally nailed it, Elysia. "If abuse is all you know, you think it's normal." The people who raise us (for good or ill) are called role models for a reason. It's hard to break the conditioning . . .
