Catherine’s answer to “My 12 year old is interested in reading this series. Is there anything in the book(s) which might …” > Likes and Comments
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Those two authors and Alice in Wonderland got me hooked on reading too. I remember sitting in the back of the library with 'The Hitchhiker ' so engrossed that I missed the home bell and there was a search that ended with me getting found by the Liberian, HAHA. Good times.
I don't think she is being a helicopter parent.....my 10 year nephew gets fixated on things like diseases and then is anxious for days so being careful what he reads is important to his overall mental health
If the child has a particular trigger, then yes, monitor. Obviously there can be too much of "learning the hard way" but those that are sheltered also suffer, just later in life. And it's good to be aware of diseases, because a couple days of anxiety might mean that in 5-10 years he makes the choice to use condoms. And he won't be a crazy anti-vaxxer. and he'll wash his hands, sneeze into his elbow instead of his hand... etc etc etc. Fear can be useful.
Some of your points I do agree with. However, I read whatever I wanted at 12 and some I wish I hadn't. I really didn't need to be reading about incest being glorified, for instance, during my Middle School years. It's one thing that my father watched horror movies with us at 4 as ultimately they are pretty goofy. But books are way more detailed and can have an effect on some kids. Just my opinion.
Well, yes... There is some scary sh*t out there.... but that's a bit of an extreme example. I read 60 books per year and I've never read anything that glorified incest.... I was thinking more along the lines of let them read from the young adult section, not just the tween section. Definitely not suggesting they check out the erotica or anything lol
My parents had to tell the local librarian I could read whatever. As such, as a 10+ year old I read all kinds of crazy things. Some things I found disgusting and didn't finish. Some intrigued me. My father ran a printing press and I helped in the shop. He got a contract for Ms. Gay America and gay travel guides. There was a contract for cock-fighting manuals. I got to see 10,000 copies in 4 color offset things that were incredibly confusing for me at the time. There is a theory that it's not just about what one is exposed to, it's the tools to process it that are important. Some of the things I saw led to some frank conversations. I learned adults sometimes make poor choices and have lingering issues. I learned some of that is all make believe. I learned acceptance for the gay community (in the 1970s). I learned how to put a book back when it was over my head.
I agree with this answer ... kind of. I let my 10 year old read what she wants with few exceptions. However, it's absolutely rude and absurd to try to parent someone on parenting instead of just answering (or better yet, ignoring) the question. This answer reeks of narcissism.
Oh, okay. I share a personal experience and you don't feel it answered your question. When asking what is appropriate for a 10 year old to read, I read that as a question on parenting--one must reach their own conclusion about what is and what isn't appropropriate and not all conclusions will be the same. Maybe ignore what I said if it doesn't suit and move on, or as some chose, fall back on argumentum ad hominem if something challenged your belief system.
Shawn, I’m going to assume that last post was directed at me since there are no other posts between ours. Forgive me if I’m wrong. But my post was directed at the OP. You know, the one that answered the question. Rest assured your response was sufficiently ignored.
Okay. Ah. Sorry about flubbing the context. I wish you a good read in the near future.
Most 12-year-old kids already know plenty and they should IMHO. As a Child Psychologist, I've found that kids knowing about sex is not a horrible thing. It depends on the context. That said, there are some gruesome scenes and that a sensitive kid might find difficult, but again I've found most kids of her age have little difficulty with such scenes. Adults seem to have more difficulty actually. I tend to agree with Catherine.
If your really believe you can stop an intelligent, 12 year old human being from reading whatever they want to in the modern world, then perhaps they should be monitoring what you read! This thread reminds me of people who think they can stop teenage boys watching porn on the net. Spoiler Alert: You can't.
This doesn’t answer the question. Your opinions are your own. You’re free to raise your own children the way you want.
Me: a teenager reading this comment
Also me: reading on the internet
Well oof
I was a very sheltered child, but after life going on (you know, going to public university and working etc), I'd hardly say I'm suffering later in life. And, please, not getting to read whatever book you want as a 12-year-old is hardly suffering. All the books I wanted to read when I was young but wasn't allowed to I did get to read, just later. Sure, as a kid you might think it's the end of the world, but as adults we know better. There are a few books I read what I would consider "early," and then read them again later and realized that though I understood the story when I was younger, there were plenty of things that I missed that made the book lose its impact. You can only read a book for the first time once. Even though it's not a popular sentiment in our next-day-delivery culture, waiting does have benefits. I believe this is probably a book better waited for, if you're 12. It will still be there when the kid's older.
Meanwhile, there are actual answers to this question elsewhere.
That is so harsh jeez. They are asking for an advice not a judgment. Not everything is helicopter parenting.
While I agree with what the OP is saying, I think there is one important caveat that must be addressed. How intelligent is your child, truthfully?
At 12, I read my (still) favorite book for the first time, Crime & Punishment. It's ability to put the reader into the mindset of each central character, the way it makes the lines of morality blur, and the way it drew you into the fluctuating emotions and often irrational decision making process of a man succumbing to madness... it all fascinated me. That was the first time I actually ruminated over what I had read after each few chapters, to be sure I understood what was being imparted. Dostoevsky taught me about classism and the plight of the marginalized, the poor, sex-workers, and the mentally ill. I began to understand how fragile a human's sanity is; that we all toe a thin line, and fate or random happenstance could rob us of it. And above all, that condemnation & hatred, pity & indifference, and love & disgust are all opposing forces, they each act as an ever changing duality; As one rises, the other falls, and the circumstances that modify their states are the sum total of an individual human's entire life experience, from the smallest flittering moments to the life shattering events.
In 2nd grade, while attending private Catholic school, I was nearly suspended for turning in a book report and diorama on 'Captain Underpants #1'. When I transfered to public school in 3rd grade, I was pointed towards and began reading through the "Classics" of the western world. That year, I got an A for my report on 'A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich'.
My point being, there is nothing worse in this book than either of those. In the former case, this is far more tame. I've never advocated stifling the passion for reading in a young person, but I've recently come to realize that stance is based on my singular experience.
What I read the most of, by huge margain, during 3rd grade? Online erotica. I was obsessed, but I believe I suffered no ill consequence (I hope); contrarily, I often wonder, did that insane amount of reading, despite the overtly obscene and extreme sexual depictions, actually help push me to read books that were truly intellectually stimulating? Who can say?
When it comes right down to it, if your child doesn't know the difference between something trashy, exaggerated, and/or fictional and reality... she probably has more pressing issues than being exposed to this book. Just make sure you are not robbing them of their passion with reading, rather than instilling them with it. When one is allowed to explore all the knowledge available to them, sans restrictions, it's impossible to estimate the heights one can obtain.
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Feb 09, 2018 11:58AM
Those two authors and Alice in Wonderland got me hooked on reading too. I remember sitting in the back of the library with 'The Hitchhiker ' so engrossed that I missed the home bell and there was a search that ended with me getting found by the Liberian, HAHA. Good times.
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I don't think she is being a helicopter parent.....my 10 year nephew gets fixated on things like diseases and then is anxious for days so being careful what he reads is important to his overall mental health
If the child has a particular trigger, then yes, monitor. Obviously there can be too much of "learning the hard way" but those that are sheltered also suffer, just later in life. And it's good to be aware of diseases, because a couple days of anxiety might mean that in 5-10 years he makes the choice to use condoms. And he won't be a crazy anti-vaxxer. and he'll wash his hands, sneeze into his elbow instead of his hand... etc etc etc. Fear can be useful.
Some of your points I do agree with. However, I read whatever I wanted at 12 and some I wish I hadn't. I really didn't need to be reading about incest being glorified, for instance, during my Middle School years. It's one thing that my father watched horror movies with us at 4 as ultimately they are pretty goofy. But books are way more detailed and can have an effect on some kids. Just my opinion.
Well, yes... There is some scary sh*t out there.... but that's a bit of an extreme example. I read 60 books per year and I've never read anything that glorified incest.... I was thinking more along the lines of let them read from the young adult section, not just the tween section. Definitely not suggesting they check out the erotica or anything lol
My parents had to tell the local librarian I could read whatever. As such, as a 10+ year old I read all kinds of crazy things. Some things I found disgusting and didn't finish. Some intrigued me. My father ran a printing press and I helped in the shop. He got a contract for Ms. Gay America and gay travel guides. There was a contract for cock-fighting manuals. I got to see 10,000 copies in 4 color offset things that were incredibly confusing for me at the time. There is a theory that it's not just about what one is exposed to, it's the tools to process it that are important. Some of the things I saw led to some frank conversations. I learned adults sometimes make poor choices and have lingering issues. I learned some of that is all make believe. I learned acceptance for the gay community (in the 1970s). I learned how to put a book back when it was over my head.
I agree with this answer ... kind of. I let my 10 year old read what she wants with few exceptions. However, it's absolutely rude and absurd to try to parent someone on parenting instead of just answering (or better yet, ignoring) the question. This answer reeks of narcissism.
Oh, okay. I share a personal experience and you don't feel it answered your question. When asking what is appropriate for a 10 year old to read, I read that as a question on parenting--one must reach their own conclusion about what is and what isn't appropropriate and not all conclusions will be the same. Maybe ignore what I said if it doesn't suit and move on, or as some chose, fall back on argumentum ad hominem if something challenged your belief system.
Shawn, I’m going to assume that last post was directed at me since there are no other posts between ours. Forgive me if I’m wrong. But my post was directed at the OP. You know, the one that answered the question. Rest assured your response was sufficiently ignored.
Okay. Ah. Sorry about flubbing the context. I wish you a good read in the near future.
Most 12-year-old kids already know plenty and they should IMHO. As a Child Psychologist, I've found that kids knowing about sex is not a horrible thing. It depends on the context. That said, there are some gruesome scenes and that a sensitive kid might find difficult, but again I've found most kids of her age have little difficulty with such scenes. Adults seem to have more difficulty actually. I tend to agree with Catherine.
If your really believe you can stop an intelligent, 12 year old human being from reading whatever they want to in the modern world, then perhaps they should be monitoring what you read! This thread reminds me of people who think they can stop teenage boys watching porn on the net. Spoiler Alert: You can't.
This doesn’t answer the question. Your opinions are your own. You’re free to raise your own children the way you want.
Me: a teenager reading this comment Also me: reading on the internet
Well oof
I was a very sheltered child, but after life going on (you know, going to public university and working etc), I'd hardly say I'm suffering later in life. And, please, not getting to read whatever book you want as a 12-year-old is hardly suffering. All the books I wanted to read when I was young but wasn't allowed to I did get to read, just later. Sure, as a kid you might think it's the end of the world, but as adults we know better. There are a few books I read what I would consider "early," and then read them again later and realized that though I understood the story when I was younger, there were plenty of things that I missed that made the book lose its impact. You can only read a book for the first time once. Even though it's not a popular sentiment in our next-day-delivery culture, waiting does have benefits. I believe this is probably a book better waited for, if you're 12. It will still be there when the kid's older.Meanwhile, there are actual answers to this question elsewhere.
That is so harsh jeez. They are asking for an advice not a judgment. Not everything is helicopter parenting.
While I agree with what the OP is saying, I think there is one important caveat that must be addressed. How intelligent is your child, truthfully? At 12, I read my (still) favorite book for the first time, Crime & Punishment. It's ability to put the reader into the mindset of each central character, the way it makes the lines of morality blur, and the way it drew you into the fluctuating emotions and often irrational decision making process of a man succumbing to madness... it all fascinated me. That was the first time I actually ruminated over what I had read after each few chapters, to be sure I understood what was being imparted. Dostoevsky taught me about classism and the plight of the marginalized, the poor, sex-workers, and the mentally ill. I began to understand how fragile a human's sanity is; that we all toe a thin line, and fate or random happenstance could rob us of it. And above all, that condemnation & hatred, pity & indifference, and love & disgust are all opposing forces, they each act as an ever changing duality; As one rises, the other falls, and the circumstances that modify their states are the sum total of an individual human's entire life experience, from the smallest flittering moments to the life shattering events.
In 2nd grade, while attending private Catholic school, I was nearly suspended for turning in a book report and diorama on 'Captain Underpants #1'. When I transfered to public school in 3rd grade, I was pointed towards and began reading through the "Classics" of the western world. That year, I got an A for my report on 'A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich'.
My point being, there is nothing worse in this book than either of those. In the former case, this is far more tame. I've never advocated stifling the passion for reading in a young person, but I've recently come to realize that stance is based on my singular experience.
What I read the most of, by huge margain, during 3rd grade? Online erotica. I was obsessed, but I believe I suffered no ill consequence (I hope); contrarily, I often wonder, did that insane amount of reading, despite the overtly obscene and extreme sexual depictions, actually help push me to read books that were truly intellectually stimulating? Who can say?
When it comes right down to it, if your child doesn't know the difference between something trashy, exaggerated, and/or fictional and reality... she probably has more pressing issues than being exposed to this book. Just make sure you are not robbing them of their passion with reading, rather than instilling them with it. When one is allowed to explore all the knowledge available to them, sans restrictions, it's impossible to estimate the heights one can obtain.
