Alan’s answer to “Is this book appropriate for a 17 year old boy?” > Likes and Comments
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I disagree. As his mother with a God given charge to teach him I have every right to lead and guide him.
You have every right to choose what your child is exposed to!!
Yeah, I figure if a parent can't control the reading and viewing of the children in their care, they have no right to determine the foods they eat, either, or that they are not allowed to light the family pet on fire.
We are talking about a seventeen year old here, not a five year old. He is only one year away from majority -old enough to think for himself. but perhaps you think he should be permanently tied to the apron strings.
It's not all black and white Alan. I have kids in this age range and what you do is TALK to them about what you think about this book and why and then perhaps let them take it from there. Those aren't apron strings. It is guidance as mentioned above. Teens do often care about what their parents think even if they don't show it and they learn by example well into their 20s. Do you have kids?
And teens need/want boundaries as well as they are still finding their way.
Let me preface what I am about with the the fact that I have four children - all grown and flown. The thing I tried to do was teach my kids to think for themselves, and this started when they were in what Americans would call grade school. I tried and succeeded in getting them to question even what their teachers said. To my chagrin it came back and bit me in the bum - a sure sign of success. How to behave is not the same as acquiring information. The acquisition of information is what education is all about. If you try to censor what children read you cripple them. I agree there should be some control when they are very young, but when they start pushing back, that is when one should relinquish control - hence my "If you have to ask" question. Freedom is an expensive commodity, don't charge your kids too much for it.
N.b. By "cripple" I mean that you deny them information that might become very important for them in later life.
I also think it would be a good idea if Mandy allows her son to read this thread.
I have always taught my children to question authority! I am anti-state. And yes it does come back to haunt me too. Success! But I think censoring and guidance are two different things and I think you are equating them. I would not offer this book to my kids mostly because I think it is garbage. So I talk to my kids about what I find offensive and why and guess what? They have been choosing wisely for themselves most of the time. In fact, my daughter came home from 7th grade and told me the teacher was suggesting they read certain books that she though were not age appropriate and she spoke up to her teacher and said she would not read those and chose something for herself. No one else questioned it. When I brought up the book list to the principal he agreed and changes were made. I think censoring is a term of force - not the same as leading or guiding.
I tend to think that at 17 not trying to shield them away from these things but reading and discussing may perhaps be more effective. I just read it and see no reason why a 17 year old could not handle this.
If a 17-year-old isn't even allowed to choose the books they read, how are they able to able to learn and be allowed to make more important decisions for themselves in less than a year. There is no reason to "guide" what children read when they are already teenagers (if they want to read something), they should already be mature enough to decide for themselves, as it is only a book, nothing life threatening. Then again, even the subject whether or not some book is "appropriate" to a certain age never really comes up, as teenagers are encouraged to read normal "adult" fiction, both by the school and most parents. Btw, I even went to school with students who lived the weeks away from home at 16, sometimes also weekends.
I Always LOVE liberal thinking. So Alan James you feel that your opinion is the only correct one right? You come across as very smug and close minded for someone who is preaching letting the young think for themselves. In the case of parents having differing views that is incorrect or ignorant right... I feel parents have every right to know what there kids are reading. You have your right as well. Its just VERY annoying for you to act like its the only right way.
Yes, it's obviously better to shelter them until they are 18 and can start making all those less important life decisions, like get married or join the military. But less than a year earlier one can't trust them to choose their own reading, parents have to screen their books because otherwise they might read something "inappropriate" and get "unpure thoughts". Oh please...
Hey, one of those "developing minds" here. I clicked this question because I wanted to know the answer (I am completely uninterested in reading books with anything overtly sexual or too violent). However, a ton of the comments were completely unhelpful and useless--like this one. The boy could have asked for himself and just phrased it like that. Either way, if you're going to respond to questions, please ANSWER THE QUESTION. Then, if you really want to, you could add in your opinion.
It's a stupid question, of course it's appropriate. What book wouldn't be?
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Mandy
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Oct 04, 2015 05:52AM
I disagree. As his mother with a God given charge to teach him I have every right to lead and guide him.
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You have every right to choose what your child is exposed to!!
Yeah, I figure if a parent can't control the reading and viewing of the children in their care, they have no right to determine the foods they eat, either, or that they are not allowed to light the family pet on fire.
We are talking about a seventeen year old here, not a five year old. He is only one year away from majority -old enough to think for himself. but perhaps you think he should be permanently tied to the apron strings.
It's not all black and white Alan. I have kids in this age range and what you do is TALK to them about what you think about this book and why and then perhaps let them take it from there. Those aren't apron strings. It is guidance as mentioned above. Teens do often care about what their parents think even if they don't show it and they learn by example well into their 20s. Do you have kids?
And teens need/want boundaries as well as they are still finding their way.
Let me preface what I am about with the the fact that I have four children - all grown and flown. The thing I tried to do was teach my kids to think for themselves, and this started when they were in what Americans would call grade school. I tried and succeeded in getting them to question even what their teachers said. To my chagrin it came back and bit me in the bum - a sure sign of success. How to behave is not the same as acquiring information. The acquisition of information is what education is all about. If you try to censor what children read you cripple them. I agree there should be some control when they are very young, but when they start pushing back, that is when one should relinquish control - hence my "If you have to ask" question. Freedom is an expensive commodity, don't charge your kids too much for it.N.b. By "cripple" I mean that you deny them information that might become very important for them in later life.
I also think it would be a good idea if Mandy allows her son to read this thread.
I have always taught my children to question authority! I am anti-state. And yes it does come back to haunt me too. Success! But I think censoring and guidance are two different things and I think you are equating them. I would not offer this book to my kids mostly because I think it is garbage. So I talk to my kids about what I find offensive and why and guess what? They have been choosing wisely for themselves most of the time. In fact, my daughter came home from 7th grade and told me the teacher was suggesting they read certain books that she though were not age appropriate and she spoke up to her teacher and said she would not read those and chose something for herself. No one else questioned it. When I brought up the book list to the principal he agreed and changes were made. I think censoring is a term of force - not the same as leading or guiding.
I tend to think that at 17 not trying to shield them away from these things but reading and discussing may perhaps be more effective. I just read it and see no reason why a 17 year old could not handle this.
If a 17-year-old isn't even allowed to choose the books they read, how are they able to able to learn and be allowed to make more important decisions for themselves in less than a year. There is no reason to "guide" what children read when they are already teenagers (if they want to read something), they should already be mature enough to decide for themselves, as it is only a book, nothing life threatening. Then again, even the subject whether or not some book is "appropriate" to a certain age never really comes up, as teenagers are encouraged to read normal "adult" fiction, both by the school and most parents. Btw, I even went to school with students who lived the weeks away from home at 16, sometimes also weekends.
I Always LOVE liberal thinking. So Alan James you feel that your opinion is the only correct one right? You come across as very smug and close minded for someone who is preaching letting the young think for themselves. In the case of parents having differing views that is incorrect or ignorant right... I feel parents have every right to know what there kids are reading. You have your right as well. Its just VERY annoying for you to act like its the only right way.
Yes, it's obviously better to shelter them until they are 18 and can start making all those less important life decisions, like get married or join the military. But less than a year earlier one can't trust them to choose their own reading, parents have to screen their books because otherwise they might read something "inappropriate" and get "unpure thoughts". Oh please...
Hey, one of those "developing minds" here. I clicked this question because I wanted to know the answer (I am completely uninterested in reading books with anything overtly sexual or too violent). However, a ton of the comments were completely unhelpful and useless--like this one. The boy could have asked for himself and just phrased it like that. Either way, if you're going to respond to questions, please ANSWER THE QUESTION. Then, if you really want to, you could add in your opinion.
It's a stupid question, of course it's appropriate. What book wouldn't be?
