J’s answer to “This seems like an odd book to read while expecting. So many of your quotes terrify me (a childfre…” > Likes and Comments
Like
I'm not sure if your last sentence is fair or even accurate. This is not a "parenting" book and if you read the entire thing and were still looking for "tips," I think you may have missed the author's point(s). It's more of a sociological book-remember the differences between how French mothers (and fathers) raise their kids and how it's different from how we now do? And that they are less stressed and more happy (day-to-day, not overall)? When I wrote my initial answer to Dawn's question 2 years ago, I was really remembering an earlier time (4-5 years ago) when my son was younger and the book had just been published. He's now 17 and things are much easier and I'm far less stressed than I was when he was younger and there was a great deal of conflict between he and myself (and my husband). In retrospect, we were dealing with issues in a kind of absurd way. I'm not saying that this book was a life changer but we stopped catering to our son. As Jennifer Senior noted, we (American society) have somehow gotten to a place where we think our kids are owed explanations for parental decisions. Both my husband and I were doing exactly that. Just too many long and complicated (and silly) explanations as to why, for example, he could not get an iPhone at 13. He HAD a cellphone (and an iPod Touch and an iPad) and the answer should have been either a simple "yes" or "no" rather than a long-winded discussion about why he couldn't (and then he ended up getting one because we were so sick of talking about it). We went back to our own childhoods (Senior did spend a lot of time talking about how things had changed in one generation) and just did what our parents had done-make a decision, render the verdict and do not revisit the subject. Much happier family now. And he IS getting some explanations because he is older and close to being 18.
back to top
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
Linda
(new)
Jan 04, 2017 09:08PM
I'm not sure if your last sentence is fair or even accurate. This is not a "parenting" book and if you read the entire thing and were still looking for "tips," I think you may have missed the author's point(s). It's more of a sociological book-remember the differences between how French mothers (and fathers) raise their kids and how it's different from how we now do? And that they are less stressed and more happy (day-to-day, not overall)? When I wrote my initial answer to Dawn's question 2 years ago, I was really remembering an earlier time (4-5 years ago) when my son was younger and the book had just been published. He's now 17 and things are much easier and I'm far less stressed than I was when he was younger and there was a great deal of conflict between he and myself (and my husband). In retrospect, we were dealing with issues in a kind of absurd way. I'm not saying that this book was a life changer but we stopped catering to our son. As Jennifer Senior noted, we (American society) have somehow gotten to a place where we think our kids are owed explanations for parental decisions. Both my husband and I were doing exactly that. Just too many long and complicated (and silly) explanations as to why, for example, he could not get an iPhone at 13. He HAD a cellphone (and an iPod Touch and an iPad) and the answer should have been either a simple "yes" or "no" rather than a long-winded discussion about why he couldn't (and then he ended up getting one because we were so sick of talking about it). We went back to our own childhoods (Senior did spend a lot of time talking about how things had changed in one generation) and just did what our parents had done-make a decision, render the verdict and do not revisit the subject. Much happier family now. And he IS getting some explanations because he is older and close to being 18.
reply
|
flag
