Questions About Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

by Susan Cain (Goodreads Author)

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Quiet, please sign up.

Answered Questions (24)

Do i need to read this book although I'm not an introvert?

Calvina I actually think extroverts should be the one reading this book! It helps extroverts better understand the thinking of introverts, and why introverts …moreI actually think extroverts should be the one reading this book! It helps extroverts better understand the thinking of introverts, and why introverts are the way we/they are ;)(less)

flag

Not exactly about this book, but I was wondering if other introverts have trouble calling up ingredients l immediate family members or close friends even once in a while? Like, I can stand talking on the phone but I almost never initiate it.

Susan I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear other people don't like using the phone either. I am very much an introvert, hate the phone and being in la…moreI can't tell you how relieved I am to hear other people don't like using the phone either. I am very much an introvert, hate the phone and being in large groups trying to make small talk. I am sure people hate being next to me at parties, weddings etc as I think I come across as being very intense. It's not that I am antisocial and I certainly like talking but on a one to one basis. The book made such a lot of sense to me, especially how certain parents can't cope with an introverted child. I have always said I had the wrong mother. She wasn't a bad mother, just the wrong mother for me. I wasn't allowed to read, I should always be outside playing/socialising. Even now I sometimes feel guilty if I am reading during the day!!(less)

flag

isn't this book "just" about social anxiety? social anxiety is a thing...a thing that needs medication...and causes great despair...p.s. didn't read the book...just read a few reviews...

Kate I don't believe so. I'm an introvert, but I love being around people that I know and in limited doses. I am also a people watcher. I love to sit on a …moreI don't believe so. I'm an introvert, but I love being around people that I know and in limited doses. I am also a people watcher. I love to sit on a bench and just watch people-see what they do, think about who they are, etc. Would I prefer to be at home? Yes. I love my home and the comfort it provides. I love having people in my home. I also love to travel and meet new people, however, I am not going to just strike up a conversation with someone just to make small talk. It's not who I am. (less)

flag

A psychologist told me I am an introvert pretending to be an extrovert. I remember when I first made the decision to pretend I was more outgoing and less shy than I was when I noticed schoolmates who were outgoing had more fun. Anybody else remember making a like decision?

Carrie Susan talks about the pretending idea you mentioned quite a bit in one chapter. There are plenty of case studies about it as well. What you are descri…moreSusan talks about the pretending idea you mentioned quite a bit in one chapter. There are plenty of case studies about it as well. What you are describing is basically called Free Trait Theory by Dr. Brian Little so you can read up about this on your own easily on the internet. Susan does a fantastic job explaining Little’s theory. The idea at the core is saying that introverts and extroverts have the ability to act like the opposite personalities for a certain period of time particularly if they are passionate about a project or it’s needed to advance at work. But it’s not sustainable. It’s nearly impossible and very unhealthy to try and maintain the opposite of one’s true personality. I can’t remember the term she used but she says that people need to revert back to their safe space after doing something that doesn’t traditionally line up with their dominant personality. The best idea to get out of the book in my opinion is that balance is key. It is probably best to tune into ourselves and self monitor what makes us feel comfortable the majority of the time.(less)

flag

Aren't most people a mixture of introvert and extrovert, and only a minority in either extreme?

Giacomo Kyle The author specifically states early on that only psychopaths are fully extroverted or fully introverted. True, people usually don't "scale out in the…moreThe author specifically states early on that only psychopaths are fully extroverted or fully introverted. True, people usually don't "scale out in the middle" as ambiverts, but almost everyone falls somewhere in the gray area between.(less)

flag

Load 5 more questions