Questions About Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

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in chapter 16 of Necessary Losses can someone Describe the concept of internalization when mourning the loss of a loved one?

Cathy Hasty For me internalization refers to the process by which we take inside ourself the functions that the person (job, pet, etc) served; we make what was on…moreFor me internalization refers to the process by which we take inside ourself the functions that the person (job, pet, etc) served; we make what was once external internal. So I relied on my father for certain emotional and physical functions. He helped me to negotiate the world and as I grieved, I gradually felt that loss and then reconstructed my inner world with his "voice" inside me. (less)

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I first read this at a time of intense personal growth. It has been immensely helpful to me through the years so I plan to read it again this year. It is about life, growth and gratitude. Thirty-plus years later, with the knowledge that the losses will not, do not stop and that acceptance leads to understanding, I wonder what others who re-read it think about the experience. Is it as powerful as I suspect it may be?

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