If you could have Flash, Batman, or Superman's ass at your mercy...who would you choose?

Hmmmmmm, a most interesting question! Three of DC’s mightiest male heroes, and I get to pick~

Well, we can eliminate Batman right away. Dark and brooding simply does nothing for me in a spank-victim. (he works pretty well as a spanker for the other heroes, though)

So then we’re down to Flash and Superman. Both have a lot going for them! I’m most familiar with Flash from the Justice League cartoon, and I think the animators upped his ‘naughtiness factor’ for that show. He was simply begging for a spanking with every appearance he made.

(and you just know Jon Stewart wanted to give it to him!)

I think Flash would be a really mouthy bottom, too. Lots of yelps, squirms, kicks, and protests that he was too old to be punished like a little kid.

Superman though… there’s something to be said for punishing the Man of Steel himself. Superman sets such a high bar by dialing every positive human value up to eleven. A natural leader. The epitome of strength, power, justice, and moral/ethical code. As such, he is very much the masculine ideal of the “Hero”. And it’s so much fun to shame and humiliate those!

(we’re not going to get into the dark/gritty Henry Cavill Superman from the recent movies, no thank you)

However, there are certain provisos that must be in place before I take Superman’s delicious bottom. Because, as we all know, traditional punishments don’t affect him much.

So we’d need to have some way of harming that impervious hide of his. I’m thinking kryptonite, obviously, preferably shaped like a paddle. It both weakens him and leaves him open for all kinds of discipline. And then it’s time for that not-at-all odious task of taking the highest of the high and making him wail like any other mere mortal.

(see what I mean about Batman working pretty well as a spanker?)

So in conclusion, I choose Superman provided I get a kryptonite paddle to go with him. Otherwise I’ll take Flash and turn his tight ass cheeks the same shade of red as his costume.