Deleted Scene: Theodolphus and Laurence
I had to cut a bunch of stuff out of All the Birds in the Sky, for length reasons or because it just didn’t work in the final version of the book. Like, at various times, there was more of Theodolphus Rose, the psycho assassin. Here’s a scene where Theodolphus tries to psyche out Laurence.
Please be aware that these deleted scenes were deleted for a reason – I encourage you to read the book first, or at least read the actual excerpts from the final book,
because that’s a way better representation of what the book is actually
like. I’m just posting these deleted snippets because they’re fun and
add something if you’ve already read the book. Also, there are spoilers for the book here!
With that out of the way…
This section picks up just after Laurence has been attacked for the umpteenth time by Brad Chomner, the school bully. And he gets sent to the school guidance counselor, who is secretly the evil assassin, Theodolphus. And here’s what happens.
Half an hour
later – Laurence was missing French again – he got dumped in a wooden
chair in Mr. Rose’s office. Laurence felt like a couple of his ribs could be
broken, but they were probably just bruised. His left wrist was sprained or
something, so no typing for a while. He had general bruisey constellations on
his torso and one leg but he would need to disrobe to evaluate, and he wasn’t
doing that at school.
"You should
be glad you’re talking to me instead of Mr. Dibbs,“ Mr. Rose said. He
looked sad, like Laurence had let him down in some very personal way.
"Why am I
talking to anyone?” Laurence said.
"You’re here, Mr. Armstead,
because you are a disruptive influence,“ Mr. Rose said. "We have a
code of conduct at this school.”
"Yeah,“
Laurence said. "I read it. I don’t remember any rule about being on the
receiving end of someone else’s fist.”
Mr. Rose leaned
forward, so his big brow cast a mean shadow over his eyes. “I know you’re
a good student. And you’re going to be leaving us a year early to go focus on
science and math. But you are on the edge of throwing all of that away.”
That
sounded like a threat. What had this guy said to Patricia? Did he threaten her?
Laurence wondered what would happen if he showed some vulnerability. “Just
please,” he said, “tell me what I should do. I don’t want any
trouble.” There. Blood in the water.
Mr. Rose smiled.
“Let me tell you a secret. Children your age are essentially all
psychopaths. You have higher reasoning, but no empathy yet. You don’t see other
human beings as people. Someone as smart as you, you’ve probably spent hours
wondering if you’re actually in a tank somewhere and we’re all just virtual
reality. Like The Matrix.
Right?”
"Well,
yeah.“ Laurence had to admit. This guy was a mind reader. "I mean,
solipsism is hard to dispute.”
"It’s
not your fault that you’re self-centered and amoral. But now I’m telling you
that it’s in your own best interest to think about the well-being of the whole
school.“
"So,
uh, what do you want me to do?”
"I
want you to help me save your friend Patricia. I’m glad you’re friends with
her, because it means there’s someone who can reach her. You may be the only
person who can get through to her, in fact. We need to plan an intervention.
Can I count on you?“
"Yes.
Absolutely. Count on me. 100 percent.” Somehow Laurence had gone from
showing fake vulnerability to draw this guy out, to actually exposing his
underbelly, for real.
