i'm from a family of agegaps- parnts 12 yrs apart, siblings all 3-7 with their S/Os. but thyre all over 18. im 16, but i take college courses and work 2 jobs, so my friends are mostly older. i've started seeing my 21 y/o coworker and i'm p conflicted. i li

This isn’t going to be the answer you want to hear, but I agree with them. That’s not to say that the boy you’re seeing is intentionally being predatory [although he very well could be] but even in “healthy” versions of relationships like this, there’s still an unbalanced power dynamic. That power-shift can be abused even unintentionally.

I know that you feel like you’re mature for your age. I’m sure you are. I was too, when I was sixteen. But there is SO MUCH growth that happens between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two. Even if you’re ahead of the curb, you’re still going to see a world of difference in your life and yourself as you graduate high school and college.

Personally, I don’t think age gaps matter once you’re both proper adults. There’s not all that much difference between 25 and 30. But there’s an ENORMOUS difference between even 17 and 20. 16 and 21? That’s too much.

I know you like him, but you’re playing with fire and I don’t want you to wind up hurt.