What to do after the Epiphany, Mr. Bennet

I have dramatic children, which shouldn’t be a surprise. I often hear “Mom, guess what I just realized!” in tones that imply something life-changing is going to be revealed. The insights are usually commonplace along the lines of “gum gets hard if you spit it out and leave it somewhere” but occasionally it is profound like “if you listen to people, they’re more likely to listen to you.”

All this wisdom floating around has made me realize that it’s not the wisdom that matters – we’re all getting new insights, wisdom, or realizations – it’s what you do with them that matters.

In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet has a paradigm shift when she reads the letter Darcy writes after she refuses his marriage proposal. She realizes that she has misjudged Darcy and believed the flattery of Wickham, a charming con man. This is particularly humbling because she had always prided herself on her discernment. There is a line that says until this moment, she had never known herself. This sudden realization is a key moment in the story. She begins to see Darcy in a new light.

Darcy has a realization, too. When Elizabeth rejects his marriage proposal, he is stunned to learn that she thinks he is arrogant and conceited. He is motivated to change his manners, to treat others with more respect. And with this change, he paves the way to earn Elizabeth’s affections.

Both Elizabeth and Darcy are changed by their realizations. They face their flaws and change for the better, which is one of the reasons why Pride and Prejudice is still popular 200 years after it was published.

Elizabeth’s father gets a moment of insight as well. When his daughter Lydia runs off with Wickham, Mr. Bennet realizes that he is partly at fault for being an absentee parent. Elizabeth had warned him, but he had ignored her advice. He says, “Let me once in my life feel how much I have been to blame. I am not afraid of being overpowered by the impression. It will pass away soon enough.”

His comment is humorous and unfortunately, too true for most of us. That’s another reason why so many people read Jane Austen. We all get the fleeting inspirations, thoughts of how we need to change or improve, and it’s easy to let the feeling fade away.

So how do we hold onto that wisdom? Telling someone might help. Writing it down is better. If you don’t have pen and paper, or if you’re like me and likely to lose a scrap of paper, email yourself. Send yourself a text message. And then do something.

I’m reminded of the quote that says a person who won’t read is no better off than the person who can’t read.

What’s the point of an epiphany if we do nothing about it?

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