Kindnesses, Large and Small, and What Must Be Done in Michigan

On Aesthetics, or in praise of lesbia... Tibe’s Elbows

Kindnesses, Large and Small, and What Must Be Done in Michigan

The weekend was difficult. Three full days with the beloved which is never enough. On Saturday morning, I FaceTimed with a friend working at the house in Maryland. Seeing the house makes me melancholy. I am excited that work is getting done on it and am always happy to see friends, but the house reminds me of what we have lost. That prompts the reverie of what I have done–or not done–that brings me to this place, to this return to my childhood home, to this time in Saginaw. The work of the first twenty years of my life was dedicated to eliminating homophobia, to making a world where gay men, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people can live openly and honestly and not be subjected to harassment, threats, and bullying. Just last June, when the Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell, I thought that the work of my life had been a success. Now I feel that not only have I done something terribly wrong in my life to bring me to this point, this place, but also that my life work has failed. Then, midday on Sunday, the beloved departed for New York. Then that Snow Moon last night. Did you see it? So big. So bright. So utterly hopeful.

One strategy to release the bitterness that continues to plague me is to create a list of things that I would like to do that can only be done in Michigan. Things that are geographically bound here where I am. As though being here might be less of a punishment and more of an opportunity. So here are the things that I want to do that can only be done in Michigan:

Meet the famous feminist philosopher (this is a bit of a cheat as it happened today!)
Spend an afternoon at John King Books
Research something in the Detroit Free Press and Detroit News from the 1960s (I am trying to figure out if I can do this at SVSU or UM-FLINT)
Go to the Flint Institute of Art
Visit the Jim Crow Exhibit at the Castle Museum in Saginaw
Hang out more with the incomparable historian in Lansing
Meet and have a drink with Ferron (no clue how to do this one–I am open for ideas and/or introductions.)

The list helps. A bit. Still the Snow Moon seems to taunt me. It’s hopefulness, it’s serenity, as though it wants me to adopt such a mindset.

What helps more than the list are the kindnesses that come from friends, fellow humans, compassionate listeners, near and far. Today brought two such kindnesses. The first, the wonderful quotation from Adrienne Rich that begins this post. The second, the glysolid which arrived in the mail today from a dear friend. Already, the skin around my nails is healing. More so, my spirit feels more aligned with the Snow Moon, more sympathetic to her light, to how she challenges the darkness with particular intensity a few days each month.

The photo of the rich, creamy glysolid also has the book I completed this evening. I hadn’t read it before, but picked it up because I am on the hunt for novels that portray lesbian separatism. Have suggestions for me? Put them in the comments. I am on a reading binge. And keep scrolling down, a photo of Tibe. Tibe, in some ways the reason for us being here, in other ways, simply a pawn in the cruel games bigots play to hurt, isolate, bully, and intimidate. Tibe continues to thrive here, even as more dogs are out and about with the thaw of the past few days. Here he is with a toy, a blue elephant, a gift, another kindness from a friend. He adores the blue elephant almost as much as the purple dragon we play fetch with each morning. Small joys. Kindnesses, large and small, beneath the Snow Moon.