The Men We Want to Tie Up
So I’ve been throwing the term ‘cisvestism’ around in my head a lot because I and most of my bondage buddies tend to really value how the captives in our fantasies, which can either be ourselves or somebody we have hypothetically captured, are dressed. For example from my experience, I’ve noticed that quite a bit of us are into guys being tied up in suits; super hero costumes; athletic, cop, firefighter, and/or soldier uniforms; and/or many other kinds of gender specific outfits. Since part of our bondage fetish includes particular kinds of costumes/clothing that are gendered male, I figured that unlike transvestism (which is a fetishization of you or other people wearing clothes of the opposite gender), my friends and I seem to be ‘cisvestites’ because ‘cis,’ as opposed to ‘trans,’ implies that this fetish includes things that are considered “appropriate” for the gender we were born as.
I have recently found that cisvestism is an apt term to be used for this phenomenon and even that acts of cisvestism usually include fantasies of taking on some other “gender appropriate” persona. For example, some guy’s cisvestistic fantasy might include him being a captured cop when he has a completely different profession and no interest in actually becoming a cop. With this in mind, I started to think a little more about the kinds of same-gendered captives we either want to be or have for ourselves. Like if we stick with the cop example, it must mean that we like the idea of subduing a man with authority who is orderly, even though cops aren’t all the time; who wears a neat and masculine uniform that includes weapons, restraints, a clean shave, and a cropped hairstyle; and who probably won’t take it lightly when he has that power and authority stripped away from him.
This brings me to my next observation, which is the fact that we also tend to be turned on by the idea of tying up and pleasuring/torturing somebody against his will who either really doesn’t want it or is acting like he doesn’t. For example, most of us like seeing the look of distress in a captive’s face, hearing his muffled objections, and watching him attempt to get free even if there is no possible escape for him. His hatred of being in such a submissive position to the point that all he can do is fool himself into thinking that he might break free is something we seem to feed off of when we have the upper hand. However when we don’t have the upper hand, we like pretending to be a man who hates being tied up. Our cisvestic fantasies usually involve us putting on the persona of a ‘normal’ man who has never fathomed the thought of people getting off on him being tied up in his work clothes, enjoying the helpless expression on his face and muffled cries when his mouth is stuffed, and finding the puzzled look in his eye pleasing when his feet are being worshiped.
On the surface, it seems as if our fantasies indicate that we would like to be normal in some way–as if living in a world where people like us are unheard-of is more appealing–but I would like to believe that the ‘normal’ personas that we like to trouble with bondage are just indicative of our appeal for a struggle. I mean if everybody was completely honky-dory about getting tied up to the point that they won’t even put up so much as a performed fight, would the idea of restraining someone be as appealing? On the other side, if somebody who ties you up isn’t interested in actually challenging your limits and taking advantage of his power over you, would that still be appealing? Bondage seems to subversively go against what we are kind of ‘taught’ to find attractive, and frankly, I like valuing things that other people don’t find sexually appealing. It helps us appreciate things that most people won’t, like male submissiveness and acting on our seemingly monstrous urges in some way. Thanks for reading.
