Deleted Scene: The Magicians Do Karaoke
I had a bunch of really fun stuff in All the Birds in the Sky that I had to cut, either for length reasons or because it didn’t fit for some reason. I’m going to be posting “deleted scenes” on here, over the next couple months. First up, here’s a scene where the witches of San Francisco do karaoke. It’s a good counterpart to the origin of Dorothea, which I posted on Monday…
Please be aware that these deleted scenes were deleted for a reason – I encourage you to read the book first, or at least read the actual excerpts from the final book, because that’s a way better representation of what the book is actually like. I’m just posting these deleted snippets because they’re fun and add something if you’ve already read the book. With that out of the way…
Dorothea
performed a song by Led Zeppelin, except that nobody had ever heard it before,
and it wasn’t listed anywhere in the band’s discography. During the
instrumental breaks, Dorothea chattered about how she had shared an apartment
with Robert Plant and Jimmy Page for five years, and both men had snored. The
song itself was this orgy of guitars and breathy shrieking innuendos, with
lyrics that started carnal and slowly got more and more transcendent. Dorothea
whipped her long hair around and slid her cableknit sweater off first one
shoulder then the other, and it was like the hottest striptease ever, watching
that bulky wraparound sweater slide downward to reveal a crisp blouse. Patricia
could hear funny breathing in both her ears, and she was aware that she was
sweating and she’d lost a shoe and part of her shirt.
"That
was… wow,“ Patricia told Dorothea when returned to the sofa. "I
mean, I think I’m going to need a cigarette, and I don’t even smoke.”
Dorothea
leaned over and kissed Patricia on the cheek, leaving an impression of lavender
body lotion. “You should let your hair down more,” she breathed in
Patricia’s ear. “Priding yourself on being the good girl can be just
another form of Aggrandizement.”
"Oh,“
Patricia stammered. "I mean, I didn’t mean to…” But Dorothea was
already back in her spot, two bodies away.
The
magicians were doing karaoke in Japantown. There are two ways of doing karaoke,
just like there are two basic ways of doing magic: the bar, where you sing in
front of dozens of strangers, or the “karaoke box,” where you sing to
your friends. Some of the wizards had wanted to rock out at a bar, but the
group might be discussing secret wizard business, so the “box”
faction won. Picture half a dozen ultra-powerful magicians crammed into a
single couch, fighting over the remote control.
After
Patricia did a spirited “I’m Every Woman,” including window-washing
hand movements, Kawashima muttered something about how Aggrandizement takes
many forms, including being a diva. Kawashima wasn’t smiling, but he had to be
kidding, right? Kawashima was usually a sweetie – he’d put Patricia up for a
week in his Castro loft when she’d gotten to town, while she found an
apartment.
Patricia
started to suspect that the gang was messing with her on purpose, especially
after Taylor started getting on her case for her Aggrandizing habit of picking
out songs for other people to sing. She was trying not to drink too much,
because they were going back to the Green Wing after this, but everyone said
her refusal to pound a Rolling Rock with the group was – wait for it – a sign
of Aggrandizement.
Image via @JBetcom/Tumblr
