The Motion Picture Event of the Year

Guyrope Tentpole is as we all know the male lead in the recent film 50 Shades of Gravy, based on the worldwide bestselling erotic recipe book of the same name. The female lead is, of course, Hetty Pseudopod, who plays the submissive kitchen assistant Fanny Batter. She is lead into a relationship with the dominant chef, Wisk Doughhook, by his use of erotic gravy to intensify their lovemaking sessions to a state never before experienced by Fanny.

Everyone who has either read the book, seen the...