The effrontery to imbibe oxygen without apology

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The Fiver knows a lost cause when it sees one. We’ve got mirrors in the house. And as the most self-aware teatime email around, we are struggling to comprehend why Louis van Gaal and/or Ed Woodward haven’t called off a relationship so barren and loveless that it makes Charles and Diana look like Heathcliff and Cathy by comparison.

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