Why, Rebalancing, Recommitting

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As I type this post it is only February 7th. Far too soon for a goal check in; not far from when I laid out my goals. And yet I find that I am struggling with one of them already, one I had hoped I’d conquered in 2015.

My desire was to write at minimum 3 000 words a week, 1 500 for the weeks where I write my blog posts ahead of time. So far, in six weeks, I’ve managed to make that goal once. And I allotted myself about an 85% success rate to be satisfied.

I am not satisfied. This is my issue with quantitative goals, but I needed a number so that I had an aim.

Life has been dumb, between work stress, family stress, personal stress, some kind of illness I’ve been unable to shake, and everything in between, I’ve only had that one week to really sit down and focus. I’m trying to give myself a break, I really am, but I’m still annoyed.

Even leading up to this weekend I found myself completely blank for blog topics. Usually I write one or two ideas a week over the course of the month. January provided nada. So yesterday I cracked the book Kate gave me for Christmas because she said every time she opened it she was bombarded with creative ideas.

I read the first segment of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and then thought back to the week Kate and I chose our favourite posts of Melissa’s when she needed us to cover. The two ideas that tie these items together: why. Why do I write? Why do I put myself through this torture week after week?

Because I love it; because I need it. That’s the simple answer. The long answer is a post all on its own.

As the second month of 2016 ticks away, I’m in catch-up mode (and not just where writing is concerned). I’m rebalancing my life to fit my new work schedule and recommitting myself to the things I want to accomplish. I can’t change January, I have to stop dwelling on what I see as failure, and look towards the next 11 months in which I can get as many words down as possible.

I want to write. I choose to write. I’m balanced and ready to recommit to it. I just need to remember that why.

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