A Tough Lesson For MAny Parents To Learn
They keep an eye out for dangers. They swoop in to 'Save The Day'! They also crash and burn!
What am I speaking of? Why, those of you who are 'Helicopter Parents', of course.
Admittedly, no rational parent wants to see their child get hurt, be sad, or even fail. Yet, any rational parent is going to want all of those things to happen, in moderation, to their child.
Am I crazy? No, simply logical.
Regardless of how hard we might try, as parents, we cannot shield our child from all hurt and disappointment. Life's bitter lessons need to be learned because they are real. And, the more that we try to shield our offspring, the more likely it is that they will have difficulty coping when confronted with disappointment and pain.
Before getting your feathers riled up, think about it. How can your daughter or son develop coping mechanisms if they never have to cope with anything 'negative'? Life is often unfair, cruel, and an obstacle course complete with figurative landmines.
Now, of course it is important for you to impart wisdom to them. For you to be there for them when they need a loving hug or kind word. And, to help set an example of how to deal with life's curveballs. But that is very different from attempting to protect them from anything that might be painful. They also need to learn such life lessons as failing a course when they fail to turn in an assignment. Or they give their heart too readily to someone. Or, they (fill in the blank)...
So, learn the art of 'being there' for them. But not in such a way that you block out any light that comes from them living life on their own. Because, the truth, as difficult as it might be to hear, is that they will come to resent you, at some point, otherwise. The other truth is that you will likely die before they will. Help them to be prepared for independent living! For that is a far better gift than you can offer them by trying to supervise or otherwise micromanage their life.
Bottom-line: Let go of the 'training wheels' and watch them learn to master life on their own! Even if they get the occasional 'bruises and scraped knees'.
'Nuff said.
What am I speaking of? Why, those of you who are 'Helicopter Parents', of course.
Admittedly, no rational parent wants to see their child get hurt, be sad, or even fail. Yet, any rational parent is going to want all of those things to happen, in moderation, to their child.
Am I crazy? No, simply logical.
Regardless of how hard we might try, as parents, we cannot shield our child from all hurt and disappointment. Life's bitter lessons need to be learned because they are real. And, the more that we try to shield our offspring, the more likely it is that they will have difficulty coping when confronted with disappointment and pain.
Before getting your feathers riled up, think about it. How can your daughter or son develop coping mechanisms if they never have to cope with anything 'negative'? Life is often unfair, cruel, and an obstacle course complete with figurative landmines.
Now, of course it is important for you to impart wisdom to them. For you to be there for them when they need a loving hug or kind word. And, to help set an example of how to deal with life's curveballs. But that is very different from attempting to protect them from anything that might be painful. They also need to learn such life lessons as failing a course when they fail to turn in an assignment. Or they give their heart too readily to someone. Or, they (fill in the blank)...
So, learn the art of 'being there' for them. But not in such a way that you block out any light that comes from them living life on their own. Because, the truth, as difficult as it might be to hear, is that they will come to resent you, at some point, otherwise. The other truth is that you will likely die before they will. Help them to be prepared for independent living! For that is a far better gift than you can offer them by trying to supervise or otherwise micromanage their life.
Bottom-line: Let go of the 'training wheels' and watch them learn to master life on their own! Even if they get the occasional 'bruises and scraped knees'.
'Nuff said.
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