No Need To Apologize for a Little Clutter
I don't talk about it publicly very often, but I have a physical disability. The reason I don't talk about it is because I rarely think about it. And, the reason I rarely think about it is because I was born with it and it's the only life I know.
Besides, you can't see me from your computer, and even if you could see me, you probably wouldn't notice. I've been acquaintances with people for decades, and they are absolutely unaware of it. I've been on national television a few times, and not once has a member of the public noticed. I was a teacher for three months before a single student asked me about it -- and appearance-obsessed teenagers notice everything.
I've concluded that my disability is invisible to other people for two reasons. The first reason is because humans are self-absorbed. We spend most of our lives thinking about what we need to do, what we want to say, how we wish to act, and concerned about our personal protection and happiness. Being self-absorbed is a survival technique, and it's not good or bad, it's just a fact. If someone I've just met notices my disability, it's usually because they have the same genetic disorder or someone they love does.
The second reason my disability is invisible to other people is because no one is looking for it. It's like the selective attention test. (If you haven't taken that test, you should. It takes just a minute or two.) Since I'm not walking with crutches or using sign language to communicate, I'm not sending any obvious outward signals that I might have a handicap. And, seeing as I don't reference it in conversation, no one looks for it. It's the invisible gorilla in the game of pass.
So, why am I talking about my disability in a post about home organizing? Good question.
I bring it up because I think it's time everyone stop apologizing to others about the clutter in their homes. This might be you: Someone drops by your house, you invite her inside, and then the first three minutes of conversation you are apologizing for this mess and that mess and, oh, that mess over there.
Your visitor wouldn't have even paid attention to the mess had you not spent three minutes pointing it out to her. Sure, we all have cluttered areas of our homes we don't want people to see. However, pointing it out, talking about it, and drawing as much attention to it as possible will only have the opposite result you want.
Realize that 1.) the person probably isn't concerned about the clutter in your space unless it's dangerous or affects him in some way, and 2.) the person might not even notice it unless you point it out and draw attention to it. Take a breath, invite in your guest, and spend that time talking about something you want to highlight instead.






