Toilet Paper Problems

My daughter Alex has a pal who shares a house with two friends. They all work. One of them likes to keep things nice and neat, the other two, not so much. It’s a regular source of conflict. Perhaps the thing that drives Alex’s pal the most nuts is his roommates’ unwillingness to change the TP roll.

Let’s face it, there us nothing more frustrating than ending up having taken a huge dump only to discover there isn’t enough toilet paper left on the roll to take care of business. Surely the last guy on the throne must have known the next guy would be in trouble?

What is it about changing the toilet paper roll that is so hard to do? People prop the new roll on top of the thingy you shove inside the roll and think that’s it! Do you have mate or children or roommates who refuse to stick that dookicky thingamabobby into the toilet paper roll and put it back where it should be?

Believe it or not, there was a study for that. A pair of psychologists from the University of New York wanted to know what was behind our TP sloppiness. Edward Deci and Richard Ryan found that it may not simply boil down to laziness, no matter how much your mother yells that at you. It’s a lack of intrinsic reward. Like doing the dishes, the job is boring and unimportant to everyone but the most fastidious. What’s the point really? It’s no big deal if we just perch the roll right there. Who is it really harming?

If, like me, you threatened to cut off your children’s left arm and beat them over the head with the soggy end if they didn’t change the roll properly, you might be flogging a dead horse. According to the researchers, to be something truly worth accomplishing a task must meet three psychological needs: competence, autonomy and relatedness. Let’s face it, there’s no real competence needed to change the TP roll. And the task is low on the scale of making us feel like we’re in control of our lives. But on the scale of enhancing our relationships, this is where my “we’re all in this together” rule of household chore management comes in. Hey, I have time to change the toilet roll in your bathroom, or drive you to your music lesson. Next time I have to change your TP, you can walk to basketball, soccer, or hockey!

I think that whole “its boring,” or “it’s just not worth the effort” thing spills over into all kinds of areas in people’s lives. I know people who don’t take out the trash regularly. They pile crap up everywhere until it becomes a health hazard or they get cited by local officials. I know folks who don’t clean out their fridges, folks who can’t be bothered to tend their yards and dopes who ignore the day-to-day management of their money.

Not everything in life can be rewarding. Some things you do because the consequences of not doing it isn’t worth the hassle. Like paying taxes. You won’t even believe the number of people who write to me whining because the taxman has finally caught up with them. Gosh! Couldn’t see that coming, eh?

So the next time you sit down and pee, and you use the last – or almost the last – of the toilet paper, put a new roll on the spindle and prop the almost finished roll on top. Look at you, so grown up!