When less is less
I believe in minimalism, at least as it applies to writing. “Get rid of extra words and slim down your prose,” I say. Like working out in the gym and organizing your closets, it makes you feel fit and virtuous at the same time.
People who give lectures on minimalism (including me) preach that less is more.
Well, not always.
In your zeal to reduce word count, you might find – and go beyond – a point of diminishing returns. That’s where the message in your sentence flips on its head and becomes the opposite of what you intended to say. When you eliminate all of those pesky articles and connecting words, and substitute idiomatic shorthand, you get something I call Tonto-speak. It sounds like the ridiculous lines Jay Silverheels was given to recite in the Lone Ranger movies:
Hmm, kemo sabe. Smell smoke. Not good.
Every written communication from the Department of Motor Vehicles in my state arrives in the mail with an enclosure that’s intended to discourage drunk driving. It’s a chart showing the amount of alcohol it takes to render you unfit to drive. The handy table shows, for your weight, what your blood alcohol level would be for various amounts of alcohol after various amounts of time.
So far, it’s a great idea. But stop and think for a moment. This publication goes to everyone who drives a car. That includes the barely literate, those struggling with English, and thousands of abysmally poor readers. And the headline, in bold type, simply says:
Get a DUI – Lose Your License!
Of course it means If you get a DUI, you could lose your license! But it doesn’t say that. The important words are left out, and the message depends on some understanding of subtlety. It has the same structure and rhythm as these slogans:
Buy Tickets – Win the Lottery!
Give a Hoot – Don’t Pollute!
Do Your Part – Save Water!
An important message needs to be concise and clear, but not subject to interpretation. Besides, this over-abbreviated headline, Get a DUI – Lose Your License! begs for a second line. Something like:
See if we care!
You’re just like your Uncle Fred!
We always knew you’d never amount to anything!
Sometimes a little more … really is more.
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