See Jane Panic
When we last visited our intrepid heroine, Jane Smythe -- aka Bondservant. Jane Bondservant -- had just received the horrific news that one of her archnemeses, Dr. Jose Noway, had joined her church. That, after Dr. Noway showed up at the small private Christian school where she works -- part-time in the front office, and part-time in the library -- and registered his nieces to attend.
Jane did what any alert, thinking woman would do when confronted with such horrific, life-altering, harbinger-of-impending-doom news: She screamed.
Primal scream therapy is, after all, a great way to clear stress compounds from the bloodstream, increase the level of oxygen in the blood and brain, and clear the sinuses.
See Jane.
Jane has gone back to work.
Fortunately for Jane, her scream of anguish and apprehension coincided with the class change bell for sixth period, which is loud enough for the gym classes out on the baseball diamond and soccer field to hear.
So no one really noticed the noise Jane made.
See Jane sit at her desk in the school library, sorting through the books that have been returned. When the fiction books are in alphabetical order, and the other books are in order by the Dewy Decimal System, she will go through the computer cataloge and mark all the books as returned. This is an easy job. As one of her good friends who edits and publishes electronic novels says, "Easy cheesy peasy."
This leaves Jane's mind free to contemplate the horrific news that her supervisor, O, gave her just a little while ago.
What is Jane going to do? Dr. Noway will see her at work when he drops off his nieces for school -- and she will see him. Dr. Noway will see her on Sunday morning when she goes to church. What if he stops in the fellowship hall to get coffee in between the service and Sunday school time? What if -- horrors! -- Dr. Noway decides to join the Singles group at her church?
For a moment there, she actually feels some sympathy for Dr. Noway, because like most churches across the country, the single women outnumber the single men ten to one -- except for the single men who migrate from one church to another, looking for a wife. Just like guys don't like girls who run around with a shopping list for the "perfect husband," girls don't like it when guys use a shopping list and measuring rod, and usually have their mother or interfering aunt following them around with a magnifying glass to focus on the girls.
Should she warn Dr. Noway? Or should she just sit back and wait for the first Sadie Hawkins event to drive him screaming into the night?
"Hey," Jane murmurs, looking up from her cataloguing work with minimal papercuts on her fingertips. "I might just do this assignment right after all."
Flashback:
After Jane screams at the news of Dr. Noway joining her church, O makes sure she has calmed down before giving her the rest of her assignment: Befriend Dr. Noway. Watch his every move. When Jane asks how in the world she can befriend her archnemesis, O says a good start is by feeling some sympathy for the misguided genius.
Just the image of Dr. Noway surviving a Singles Group event at her church does the trick -- Jane feels sorry for him.
But not enough to drive away the oogy shivers at the thought of being nice to someone who still works for B.L. Zebob Industries -- even if he did say he was trying to find another job.
What will Jane do?
Stay tuned for the next adventure of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant. Agent 777.
Jane did what any alert, thinking woman would do when confronted with such horrific, life-altering, harbinger-of-impending-doom news: She screamed.
Primal scream therapy is, after all, a great way to clear stress compounds from the bloodstream, increase the level of oxygen in the blood and brain, and clear the sinuses.
See Jane.
Jane has gone back to work.
Fortunately for Jane, her scream of anguish and apprehension coincided with the class change bell for sixth period, which is loud enough for the gym classes out on the baseball diamond and soccer field to hear.
So no one really noticed the noise Jane made.
See Jane sit at her desk in the school library, sorting through the books that have been returned. When the fiction books are in alphabetical order, and the other books are in order by the Dewy Decimal System, she will go through the computer cataloge and mark all the books as returned. This is an easy job. As one of her good friends who edits and publishes electronic novels says, "Easy cheesy peasy."
This leaves Jane's mind free to contemplate the horrific news that her supervisor, O, gave her just a little while ago.
What is Jane going to do? Dr. Noway will see her at work when he drops off his nieces for school -- and she will see him. Dr. Noway will see her on Sunday morning when she goes to church. What if he stops in the fellowship hall to get coffee in between the service and Sunday school time? What if -- horrors! -- Dr. Noway decides to join the Singles group at her church?
For a moment there, she actually feels some sympathy for Dr. Noway, because like most churches across the country, the single women outnumber the single men ten to one -- except for the single men who migrate from one church to another, looking for a wife. Just like guys don't like girls who run around with a shopping list for the "perfect husband," girls don't like it when guys use a shopping list and measuring rod, and usually have their mother or interfering aunt following them around with a magnifying glass to focus on the girls.
Should she warn Dr. Noway? Or should she just sit back and wait for the first Sadie Hawkins event to drive him screaming into the night?
"Hey," Jane murmurs, looking up from her cataloguing work with minimal papercuts on her fingertips. "I might just do this assignment right after all."
Flashback:
After Jane screams at the news of Dr. Noway joining her church, O makes sure she has calmed down before giving her the rest of her assignment: Befriend Dr. Noway. Watch his every move. When Jane asks how in the world she can befriend her archnemesis, O says a good start is by feeling some sympathy for the misguided genius.
Just the image of Dr. Noway surviving a Singles Group event at her church does the trick -- Jane feels sorry for him.
But not enough to drive away the oogy shivers at the thought of being nice to someone who still works for B.L. Zebob Industries -- even if he did say he was trying to find another job.
What will Jane do?
Stay tuned for the next adventure of Bondservant. Jane Bondservant. Agent 777.
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