The Hearing

“My client is renowned for his upstanding character. He’s an outstanding example to our young players,” pointed out the defendant’s lawyer. “Why, I can hardly nip into Tesco’s for a pint of milk without some complete stranger accosting me to tell me what a jolly nice fellow my client is!”
The judicial officer rolled his eyes heavenward. “Please! This is a disciplinary hearing, not the effing High Courts.”
I’d nodded off halfway through the long-winded adulation, and for a moment, I thought we’d moved on to another case. “Is this about Alun Wyn Jones?” I ask.
“No, bloody Ashton again!”