Nightmares

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it's common for me to have nightmares. The more I heal, the less frequent they have become. And, the less time it takes for me to recover from them.

A couple of days ago, I had a particularly violent nightmare. For a moment, I was a terrified little girl again.

In the dream I was naked in a box with little room to fight back and the predator above me. But I kicked and fought until I eventually woke myself up.

For me, this is a victory. Somewhere in my sub-conscious I am gaining strength and confidence. Just months ago the monster in my dreams would have won. I would have been uneasy for several days with symptoms of PTSD. But this time, he didn't win. I won!

I know that being free from the oppressive secrecy of abuse has helped me heal. I pray that I continue to move forward and who knows, maybe one day there will be no more nightmares. Until then, I'll keep fighting.