“I felt attracted to other boys when I was four years old, but...

“I felt attracted to other boys when I was four years old, but by the time I hit puberty, it felt like a tractor beam was pulling me toward another person. I didn’t know any other gay people. There was no Internet back then. I had no information about life beyond my neighborhood, church, family, and friends. So I thought I was sick. I considered suicide when I was thirteen. I had the pills measured out and everything. But I picked up a psychology textbook from the library, and it said that all teenage boys go through a phase of sexual exploration. So I thought: ‘It’s just a phase. I can handle a phase.’ I thought as soon as I had a heterosexual encounter, it would all go away. It was a lie, of course. But it got me through my teenage years. And by the time I realized it wasn’t a phase, I’d developed so many other parts of my identity. I’d become good at swimming, running, and playing the cello. I was making good grades. I was even smoking pot. So by the time I finally accepted being gay, my identity was based upon a lot more than my sexuality.”