Christy Writes: Notes to my younger self

My 19-year-old niece, Alexandria, came over just before Christmas with her first serious boyfriend in tow. Since I held her in the hospital the day after she was born, I’ve considered Alex my defacto kid, so I was glad to see this boy appears to be very good to her and she seems genuinely happy. I’ve told her in the past that it’s important – vital, even – to have a partner who treats you with respect. I’m glad she listened to that, because I’m not sure she’s ever listened to me about anything else. She’s a teenager so obviously anything she needs to know, she already does. Duh, Aunt Christy. What-ever, you sound just like my parents.

After they left that night, I started thinking about everything I wish I’d known at Alex’s age. And when I was younger than her. And when I was older than her. And yesterday. For instance:

Things I’d tell my seven-year-old self…

You won’t always think boys are gross.
You are smart.
You are beautiful.
You are hilarious.
You can do anything you put your mind to.
No, it’s not weird that you know the words to every Nat King Cole song. Well, maybe a little.

Things I’d tell my junior high self…

You will get your period so stop stressing that you’ll be the last one in your class to get it. Thanks for the extra paranoia, Judy Blume.
Yes, you will love a boy besides Tommy someday.
You won’t use algebra again. Ever.
You are smart. Maybe not at algebra, but see above.
Mean girls suck. Wait until you meet them in high school.
You are beautiful. The weird stuff your body is doing is normal. Wait until you see the stuff it does over 40 – oy vey, don’t even get me started.

Things I’d tell my high school self…

Your body is fine so stop stressing that you’re not pretty enough. Thanks for the extra paranoia, Wildfire paperback romances.
Yes, you will love a boy besides Greg someday.
You will use Spanish again. A lot.
Mean girls suck. Wait until you meet them in college.
Yeah, you’re kind of a nerd. Embrace it. Nerds run the world.
You didn’t get the lead in the school play. It’ll be fine.
You didn’t make drill team. It’ll be fine.
Someday you’ll miss having problems like these.

Things I’d tell my college self…

You might want to pace yourself on the drinking thing.
Yes, you will love a boy besides Michael someday.
You’re smart.
You’re beautiful.
Your grades matter. Go to class. What? Yes, I know you’re tired and heartbroken – see numbers one and two again, then get your butt to class.
Mean girls suck. Wait until you meet them in the workplace.
Go to class.
Go to class.
For crying out loud, go to class.

Things I’d tell my twenty-something self…

If that’s the best car you can afford, you might think deeply about public transportation.
Early Garage Sale and Parents’ Attic is a perfectly acceptable decor theme.
Yes, you will love a boy besides Jason someday.
You’re smart.
You’re beautiful.
Mean girls will always suck.
Credit cards are real money.
Checks are real money.
You don’t have any real money.
Beer and Cheerios are not dinner. Well, not a good dinner anyway. Okay, not a nutritious dinner – when did you get so argumentative?
Yes, adulthood is awesome and horrible at the same time. Welcome to life.

Things I’d tell my thirty-something self…

It’s not okay for him to treat you that way.
You’re smart.
You’re beautiful.
You haven’t used algebra at all, have you? Ha.
Your girlfriends are important. Don’t neglect them now.
Start saving for retirement. I know it’s “light-years away” but light-years go faster than you know, smart aleck.
Get enough sleep. You’ll thank me later.
Moisturize. You’ll thank me for that later too.
Get to know who you really are, as an adult.
Learn to love your own company.
Learn to love your spirit.
Learn to love your body. If not now, when?

Things I want to tell myself right now…

You’re over 40. You’re smarter than ever. You’re more beautiful than ever. This is who you really are. This is the life you couldn’t even conceive of when you were any of the above ages. You’ve earned every crease, every memory, every moment. Your past wasn’t as bad as you remember, and your future is brighter than you could even imagine. Go you.

Winter Trees

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