From Squid to Eternity
Margaret Atwood (in)famously referred to science fiction as "talking squids in outer space," a remark to which I would take great umbrage if not for the fact that my DAW novel Lost in Translation contains a character, Karak, master of the Guild of Translators, described thusly:
Free of the watersuit and its exoskeleton, his shape was nothing bipedal at all; his almost globular, iridescent body, from which writhed six locomotive tentacles and six manipulators, moved through the water with boneless grace, gill-slits pulsating below the fringe of feeding-tentacles that encircled his beak. It seemed odd to hear perfect home-planet S'sinn emerging from that alien mouth.
For all intents and purposes, then, Lost in Translation did indeed feature a talking squid in outer space. Which means a) I really shouldn't bad-mouth Margaret Atwood's definition, and b) Margaret Atwood reads my stuff!
What Atwood did not mention, and perhaps few people realize, is that everything is improved with the addition of squid. As my daughter and I have discovered: take any title, replace a word with "squid," and the result is instant merriment!
Don't believe me? Consider this list of titles, the top 25 movies in the list of the top 250 movies of all time as voted on by users of the Internet Movie Database:
The Squidshank Redemption
The Squidfather
The Squidfather: Part II
The Good, the Bad and the Squid
Squid Fiction
Schindler's Squid
12 Angry Squid
Squidception
One Flew Over the Squid's Nest
The Dark Squid
Squid Wars: Episode V – The Squid Strikes Back
The Lord of the Squid: The Return of the Squid
Seven Squid
Squid Club
Squid Wars: Episode IV – A New Squid
Squidfellas
Casasquida
City of Squid
The Lord of the Squid: The Fellowship of the Squid
Once Upon a Squid in the West
Rear Squid
Raiders of the Lost Squid
The Squidrix
Squidcho
The Usual Squid
Best of all, this even (or especially) works with the titles of Margaret Atwood novels, like so:
The Edible Squid
Squidding
Lady Squid
Life Before Squid
Bodily Squid
The Handsquid's Tale
Squid's Eye
The Robber Squid
Alias Squid
The Blind Squid
Oryx and Squid
The Squidiad
The Year of the Squid
See what I mean? So infallible is this method of amusing oneself (if one is me, anyway, or my nine-year-old daughter), that I have become convinced that "squid" is the funniest word in the English language.
Squid! It's not just for breakfast any more.
(The photo: Not a squid, but a jellyfish, at the Vancouver Aquarium.)
